David Such Obituary

LGACY.COM I WANTED TO TAKE A MINUTE TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR HELP AND SUPPORT AND I PURCHASED A BOOK. THANK YOU SO MUCH MARK A. SUCH

HI DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY. I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD I GUESS. I JUST THOUGHT I WOULD TELL YOU ABOUT SOME POSSIBLE GOOD NEWS I MIGHT HAVE. I HAVE BEEN PUTTING SOME IDEAS FOR CEDAR POINT ON DOING CARDS LIKE FOOTBALL AND BASEBALL COLLECTOR CARDS AS YOU KNOW HOW I HAVE LOVED TO COLLECT ALL MY LIFE. WELL I WAS ABLE TO GET MY FOOT IN THE DOOR AND I WILL BE WORKING OUT SOME PRICES AND SEE IF MY IDEA AND DREAM COME TRUE OR NOT. DAD, IF ANYBODY SHOULD KNOW HOW WHEN I WAS LITTLE YOU AT TIMES STOPPED AT CARNIVALS WITH RIDES I GUESS IT WAS JUST IN MY BLOOD. I WOULD SURE BE EXCITED TO SEE CEDAR POINT TRADING CARDS COME OUT AND I WAS PART OF IT. WELL PLEASE KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED FOR ME THIS REALLY MEANS ALOT TO ME IF WE CAN DO IT OR NOT. DAD, IF YOU SURE HAVE ANY IDEAS OR YOU CAN HELP PLEASE HELP WITH ANY IMPUT YOU CAN RELATE TO ME I WOULD SURE APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH SO. WELL I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD WAY FOR ME TO END MY BOOK AND KEEP THE ENDING AS HAPPY AS I COULD BECAUSE THIS STORY WILL NEVER BE AS HAPPY AS I COULD OF HOPED OR WISHED BUT I WILL TRY VERY HARD TO GO FORWARD DAD AND MAKE YOU AS PROUD AS I COULD IF YOU COULD TELL ME SO AND I GIVE MY WORD AND A MAN'S HANDSHACK ON IT. I SURE NEED SOMETHING GOOD TO HAPPEN SO I CAN GO FORWARD AND NOT LET MYSELF GET DOWN SO MUCH I WILL NEVER LET THINGS GO DAD BECAUSE I WILL ALWAYS BE THINKING OF YESTERDAY AND WHAT IF THIS ALL WOULD AND COULD OF BEEN DIFFERENT FOR US ALL AND ESPECIALLY FOR YOU. DAD YOU SUFFERED SO MUCH AND AT TIMES I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU HOW YOU COULD HANDLE ALL THE HURT AND PAIN YOU WENT THROUGH BUT I COULD SEE IT IN YOUR FACE ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT WHEN WE HELPED PUT YOU IN BED WHEN I WOULD LEAVE I WENT TO MY CAR AND JUST CRIED LIKE A BABY AND LOOKED UP AND SAID WHY AND IT JUST IS NOT FAIR BUT NOBODY COULD EVER TELL ME WHY. I KNOW SOMEDAY DAD YOU WILL TELL ME AND I WILL LOOK FORWARD TO THAT DAY IT WILL COME QUICK ENOUGH BUT I STILL NEED TO ACOMPLISH THINGS YET AND I SURE HOPE I WILL BE GIVEN THE CHANCE TO DO SO. I WISH DAD YOU HAD A CRYSTAL BALL AND COULD TELL ME BUT I KNOW WITH YOUR LOVE AND GUIDANCE YOU WILL LEAD ME DOWN THE RIGHT PATH AND WHEN MY TIME COMES I KNOW YOU WILL HELP ME WITH IT AND TELL ME WHEN MY TIME COMES I REALLY COUNT ON YOU DAD AND I MEAN IT AND AS I START TO BREAK DOWN AGAIN I SOMEHOW FEEL YOU ARE ALL AROUND ME JUST AS IF I WAS A BABY AND YOU ARE PICKING ME BACK UP AND SETTING ME BACK IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION AGAIN AND I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR THAT FEELING AND HELP YOU CAN GIVE TO ME. I WISH AT NIGHT HOW CAN I STILL HELP YOU BUT I GUESS THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS STAY STRONG AND HELP OTHERS AROUND ME AND TRY TO THE BEST MAKE SOMETHING GOOD WITH THE REST OF MY TIME I HAVE LEFT AND MOST IMPORTANT I WILL LOVE AND PRAY FOR YOU DAD AND ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU WILL ALWAYS BE APART OF MY THOUGHTS, ACTIONS AND MY LOVE. I CAN'T HELP MY EMOTIONS DAD BUT I FEEL IT TAKES A MAN TO SHOW AND EXPRESS THEN TO HOLD IT IN AND HIDE IT. MY GUEST BOOK HAS BEEN KEPT ON LINE UNTIL 8/15/2012 AND TODAY IS 8/10 AND I WILL NEED TIME TO PUT THIS BOOK IN ORDER SO THIS WILL BE MY LAST ENTRY I WILL MAKE AND IT HURTS ME ALOT TO SAY THIS TO YOU BECAUSE IT BRINGS BACK THE DAY I HAD TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOU WHEN YOU PASSED AWAY BUT I WILL REALIZE IN TIME YOU ARE STILL WITH ME AND I WILL TALK WITH YOU OTHER WAYS AND IN TIME I WILL FEEL THE SAME WARMTH AND HAPPINESS YOU CAN GIVE TO ME BUT THAT WILL COME IN TIME I'M COUNTING ON THAT AND YOUR HELP THAT'S FOR SURE DAD. I THINK THOUGH IN TIME DAD THINGS WILL WORK OUT AND WE WILL BE OKAY. WHITNEY,TIFFANY BONNIE AND I DAD GIVE YOU ARE BEST AND WHATEVER IT'S LIKE IN HEAVEN AND A NEW LIFE GIVE IT YOUR BEST DAD AND WE HOPE YOU WILL BE THE BEST BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT. I OFTEN WONDERED DAD ON XMAS EVE WHEN SANTA CAME AND VISITED YOU THOSE SPECIAL NIGHTS DID YOU BELIEVE BECAUSE I DID AND IT SURE FELT SO REAL AND I SURE HOPED IT DID FOR YOU ALSO BECAUSE IT WAS FUN. THAT'S HOW IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME TO END THIS BOOK WE MUST FEEL THE HAPPINESS AND JOY AND ALWAYS TALK ABOUT YESTERDAY AND SHARE ALL THE LAUGHS WE HAD AND HOLD ON TO IT AS IF IT WAS HAPPENING TODAY AS WE SPEAK THAT WOULD MAKE IT SO MUCH TO REMEMBER AND THINK ABOUT AND THAT'S HOW I WILL PUT THIS BOOK DOWN AND REMEMBER IT BY. DAD, I SURE HAD THE BEST TIME AND SURE GLADE YOU ARE MY DAD AND WILL NEVER FORGET THIS EVER. THE ONLY REGRET I HAVE IS THE TIME WENT BY SO FAST I WISH WE COULD OF HELD ON FOR MORE. I THINK MOM WILL BE OKAY DAD IN TIME BUT SHE HURTS ALSO AND IF YOU CAN SHOW MOM THE RIGHT PATH AND LET MOM TELL ALL US KIDS ABOUT THINGS YOU SENT OR SHOWED MOM THEN I WILL KNOW DAD YOU DID IT AND WILL BE STRONGER AS A PERSON AND I KNOW YOU WILL BECAUSE YOU HAVE DONE IT BEFORE AND YOU DON'T REALIZE HOW YOU CAN BUILD ON THAT. WELL DAD I DON'T WANT TO SAY GOODBYE BUT I WANT TO SAY HELLO TO A NEW BEGINNING AND EACH DAY STAY IN TOUCH AND BEGIN TO HAVE A NEW BOND WITH EACH OTHER AND KEEP CLOSER IN THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS. I MUST AND WILL GO FORWARD JUST LIKE WATCHING MY WEIGHT AND HEALTH AND SOMEDAY DAD I WILL SAY TO YOU WE DID IT BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WILL HELP COACH ME THROUGH IT AND PICK ME UP WHEN I STRUGGLE AT TIMES. I KNOW THIS DAD AS A SURE THING BECAUSE YOU ARE MY DAD AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE AROUND FOR ME. WELL TAKE CARE DAD AND AGAIN THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME AND MY WHOLE FAMILY AND I'M SO PROUD TO BE YOUR SON AND MOST OF ALL CALL YOU MY DAD I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU AS LONG AS I LIVE AND I SEE YOUR PICTURE EACH TIME WE TALK AND THAT IS HOW I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU BY WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES AT NIGHT AND WHEN I WAKE EACH AND EVERY MORNING. I ONCE SAID BEFORE I DIE I SURE WOULD LIKE TO SEE A CLEVELAND TEAM WIN IT ALL AND I DON'T KNOW IF THAT DREAM WILL EVER COME TRUE OR NOT. I DO KNOW YOU ARE THE BEST WINNER I COULD OF EVER WATCHED OR BEEN PART OF AND FOR THAT I DON'T NEED TO WATCH MY FAVORITE TEAM WIN IT ALL BECAUSE FOR 51 YEARS DAD WE DID WIN AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME OR EVER WILL MATTER TO ME. THANK YOU AGAIN DAD AND I WILL ALWAYS MISS AND LOVE YOU BUT I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD OF ME AND WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN I WILL BE SO PROUD OF THAT DAY AND YOU WILL HELP ME HELP MY LOVED ONES UNDERSTAND HOW TO LOSE SOMEONE YOU MISS AND LOVE SO MUCH I HOPE I WILL UNDERSTAND AND LOOK DOWN AS YOU ARE AND UNDERSTAND IT ALL. I KNOW IT WILL BE TUFF BUT I WILL UNDERSTAND I HAVE THE BEST COACH OF ALL TO HELP AND THAT WILL MAKE IT SO MUCH EASIER TO UNDERSTAND IT ALL. WELL DAD I WILL LEAVE WITH THIS LAST THOUGHT AND THAT IS IF I WASN'T GIVEN THIS CHANCE AND OPPORTUNITY IN LIFE LIKE YOU GAVE ME I COULD NEVER FEEL OR BE PART OF THIS AND I REALLY FEEL HONORED TO BE PART OF IT AND I THINK ALOT OF GOOD COMES FROM THIS AND IS VERY SPECIAL TO ME. DAD, BY THE WAY JUST FOR THE RECORD I DON'T THINK I WOULD TELL ANYBODY ELSE THIS BUT WHEN I WAS LITTLE AND I SAW SANTA JUST SO YOU KNOW I REALLY DID SEE HIM AND FOR THAT I WILL ALWAYS BELIEVE. WELL DAD WE WILL KEEP THAT OUR OWN LITTLE SECRET BECAUSE I DON'T THINK ANYBODY WOULD EVER UNDERSTAND IT AND I KNOW THAT YOU UNDERSTAND AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME. THANK YOU AGAIN DAD AND IT WAS AN HONOR AND ALWAYS WILL BE MY HONOR TO CALL YOU MY DAD. LOVE AND WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU FOREVER YOUR SON MARK.

HI DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY. I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD. WELL DAD TODAY IS THE DAY I MUST TELL YOU WHAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO TALK ABOUT. I GUESS IT IS NEVER A GOOD TIME WHEN THINGS MUST END BUT I MUST TELL YOU NOW. IT'S HARD FOR ME DAD BECAUSE I THOUGHT BY DOING THIS BOOK IT WOULD HELP ME AND DON'T GET ME WRONG IT HAS ALOT BUT IT'S STILL VERY HARD FOR ME EACH DAY I GO FORWARD SO MANY THINGS GO THROUGH MY HEAD DAD ABOUT YESTERDAY THAT I WILL NEVER LET GO OR EVER FORGET FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I WILL ALWAYS CHERRISH MY THOUGHTS,IDEAS AND MEMORIES AND NOBODY WILL EVER TAKE THAT FROM ME. I MADE YOU PROMISES DAD JUST WEEKS BEFORE YOU PASSED AWAY AND I PROMISE TO YOU I WILL KEEP THEM AS WE TALKED. I WAKE UP EACH MORNING DAD AND I'M STILL VERY LOST INSIDE I WISH I STILL COULD HELP YOU AND WE STILL WORKED TOGETHER AT WORLD WIDE PRESS BECAUSE I ENJOYED ALL THAT TIME WE SPENT EVEN THOUGH AT TIMES IT WAS A STRUGGLE AND LONG,LONG HOURS EACH DAY I STILL ENJOYED THE CHALLENGE WE HAD. I WILL NEVER LOOK BACK AND SAY I MADE A MISTAKE AND SHOULD OF LEFT THE COMPANY BECAUSE I REALLY ENJOYED MY TIME BUT AS TIME GOES ON THINGS MUST CHANGE AND I GUESS I JUST WASN'T READY FOR IT YET. DAD, IT'S JUST LIKE YOU PASSING AWAY I KNOW YOU WOULD OF FOUGHT IT IF YOU COULD AND YOU WOULD STILL BE WITH US TODAY BUT IT WAS NOT FAIR YOU HAD TO SUFFER THE WAY YOU DID AND YOUR LIFE STYLE HAD TO CHANGE AND YOU COULD'NT ACHIVE YOUR GOALS AND DREAMS YOU HAD. I WISH I COULD CHANGE THAT FOR YOU DAD BUT AS YOU KNOW I CAN'T AND I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY AND AS I WRITE YOU CAN SMILE AND LOOK DOWN AND SAY ONLY IF YOU KNEW HOW GOOD IT GETS FOR YOU IT WOULD MAKE ME SO HAPPY TO HAVE YOU TELL ME THAT IF YOU COULD BUT I MUST HAVE TO HOPE AND BELIEVE THAT IS TRUE AND SOMEDAY WE WILL ALL SEE IT AND SAY WHY DID I WORRY SO MUCH THIS IS GREAT AND THAT NOBODY SHOULD OR WILL EVER WORRY. I BELIEVE DAD THAT SOMETIMES I FEEL YOU AROUND ME AND I FEEL THAT YOU ARE HAPPY AND YOU SOMEHOW TRY TO TELL ME PLEASE DON'T WORRY AND I HOPE SO MUCH THAT IS TRUE. I THINK IT REALLY DID ME GOOD DAD TO WRITE MY BOOK BECAUSE IT LET ME EXPRESS AND TELL MYSELF THINGS I WOULD HAVE NEVER TOLD ANYBODY ELSE. I DO THINK DAD IT BROUGHT ALOT OF GOOD OUT AND SOMEDAY I HOPE MY CHILDREN AND I HOPE GRANDKIDS CAN LOOK BACK ON AND ASK ME QUESTIONS AND I WILL HAVE GOOD ANSWERS FOR THEM I HOPE. DAD, I TOLD YOU BEFORE AND I WILL TELL YOU AGAIN THE BEST TIMES I EVER HAD WAS WORKING FOR AND WITH YOU AT PROGRESSIVE LITHO PLATE CO. I WILL ALWAYS CHERRISH THOSE MEMORIES AND YEARS I WORKED WITH YOU. I REALLY CAN OR WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO THANK YOU FOR THAT OPPORTUNITY I WAS GIVEN BECAUSE EVERYBODY DOSEN'T GET THAT IN LIFE. I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THE TIMES WE SHARED AT WORLD WIDE PRESS BUT BACK IN CLEVELAND I WILL CHERRISH THE MOST. I KNOW AT FIRST MONTANA WASN'T MY FAVORITE SPOT AS WE MOVED OUT TO FROM OHIO BUT I'M SO HAPPY I WAS ABLE TO FIND A GOOD WIFE BY MEETING BONNIE AND GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING WHITNEY AND TIFFANY AS MY DAUGHTERS I WOULDN'T TRADE THAT IN FOR ANYTHING AND SOMEDAY I HOPE MY FAMILY WILL READ THIS BOOK AND GET SOME MEANING OUT OF IT. I THINK YOU DID A REAL GOOD JOB MEETING MOM AND HAVING ALL OF US AS A FAMILY AND FOR THAT DAD YOU ARE AND ALWAYS WILL BE A WINNER BECAUSE YOU STOOD BY THE FAMILY AND MADE US ALL FEEL WANTED AND IMPORTANT AND THAT MEANS ALOT TO US. MOM WAS REALLY GOOD TO YOU DAD AND IF YOU SEE THE TYPE OF PEOPLE OUT TODAY YOU WOULD NOT OF BEEN GIVEN THE CARE AND LOVE MOM GAVE YOU AND I HOPE YOU CAN KEEP GUIDING MOM WITH YOUR HELP AND LOVE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT MOM STRUGGELES AT TIMES AND NEEDS YOU BY FOR SUPPORT AND I KNOW YOU HAVE AND YOU WILL ALWAYS CONTINUE THAT LOVE AND SUPPORT JUST LIKE YOU ALWAYS DID FOR ALL OF US. DAD, TODD AND CHAD ALSO HAVE TRIED SO HARD TO KEEP WORLD WIDE PRESS GOING AND BECOME STRONG AGAIN AND I KNOW YOU WILL BUT I ASK YOU PLEASE HELP THEM DAD FIND THE RIGHT PATH AND THE RIGHT ANSWERS TO KEEP GOING. TODD HAS REALLY TRIED AND YOU MUST TAKE YOUR HAT OFF FOR THAT. WE ALL BELIEVED IN YOU DAD AND WE ALL WOULD LIKE IT TO WORK OUT SO YOU CAN LOOK DOWN AND SMILE AND BE PROUD AND I KNOW YOU WOULD ALSO LIKE MOM TO BE HAPPY ALSO. I WISH I COULD HELP MORE LIKE I USED TO WITH YOU BUT EVEN THOUGH IT IS HARD I REALIZE THINGS MUST CHANGE AND SOON I WILL STEP TO THE SIDE DAD LIKE WE TALKED BUT I WILL ALWAYS HOPE AND PRAY THE COMPANY WILL HIT THAT HOMERUN THEY SO MUCH DESERVE. I GUESS DAD WE ARE LIKE A PITCHER IN BASEBALL YOU CAN'T THROW FOREVER. DAD, I WILL ALSO ASK YOU TO PLEASE HELP KIM AND CRAIG AND FAMILYS TO HELP GUIDE AND LOVE AND LET THEM ALL FEEL YOUR HELP AND LOVE AROUND THEM EACH AND EVERYDAY AS WE ALL GO FORWARD IN LIFE. WE ALL SAY AT TIMES DAD WE DON'T NEED THE HELP BUT BELIEVE ME WE ALL NEED GUIDANCE AT TIMES IN LIFE TRUST ME ON THAT. DON'T EVER FORGET ALL YOUR GRANDCHILDREN ALSO DAD BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL STARTING OFF IN LIFE AND IT SURE IS HARD TODAY LIFE IS TUFF. I THINK DAD THAT PEOPLE MAKE IT HARD AND IF WE WOULD ALL WORK AS A FAMILY KIDS TODAY AND TOMORROWS KIDS WILL HAVE A CHANCE IN LIFE BUT WE MUST REALIZE WHAT IS GOING ON AND WHAT IS HAPPENING BEFORE THAT HAPPENS BUT I THINK VERY SOON THAT WILL HAPPEN I SURE HOPE I CAN BE PART OF IT SOMEDAY BUT I REALLY THINK IT WILL AND MUST HAPPEN SOONER THAN WE THINK IT WILL. I HAVE TO STOP AND BRING THIS UP DAD BECAUSE I KNOW YOU REALLY LIKED IT BUT I THOUGHT NEW YORK WAS AWSOME AND I CAN SEE WHY YOU LIKED IT. I WOULD NEVER LIVE IN NEW YORK BUT IT SURE IS A MUST SEE PLACE. WE ALSO LIKED ATLANTIC CITY ALSO AND WE DID HAVE ALOT OF FUN AS YOU COULD TELL. WELL DAD PLEASE GIVE ALL THOSE WHO WE MISS AND LOVE SO MUCH FROM MY FAMILY ALL OUR LOVE AND LET THEM EACH KNOW THEY ARE ALL MISSED AND LOVED I WILL ALWAYS CHERRISH MY THOUGHTS AND MEMORIES AS IF IT WAS JUST LIKE YESTERDAY BECAUSE THAT IS SURE HOW IT FEELS LIKE TO ME. GRANDMA AND GRANDPA SUCH WILL ALWAYS HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART FOR WHAT THEY DID FOR ME WHEN I WAS YOUNGER AND I WILL NEVER FORGET THEM FOR THAT EVEN THOUGH I DON'T TELL THEM OFTEN I REALLY DO MEAN IT. I WILL NEVER SINGLE ANYBODY OUT BECAUSE ALL OUR FAMILY WAS GOOD HEARTED AND SO KIND. THE LOVE AND HELP THEY GAVE WAS ENDLESS AS LIKE AN OCEAN IS BUT THEY ALL DESERVE A SPECIAL THANKS AND MY LOVE BECAUSE KNOW DAD I MUST SHARE WITH YOU MY FINAL THOUGHT. I GUESS DAD THE DAY YOU PASSED AWAY I TRIED SO HARD TO THANK YOU FOR NOT LETTING ME GO WHEN I WAS YOUNGER BUT I DID TRY AND I WISH IF I WAS GIVEN THE CHANCE OVER I WISHED I COULD OF TOLD YOU FACE TO FACE EVEN THOUGH I THINK YOU KNOW IT I STILL WANTED TO TELL YOU AS A MAN AND SHAKE YOUR HAND ONE MORE TIME AND TELL YOU THANK YOU AND IT SURE TOOK A MAN LIKE YOU SHOWED TO DO THAT FOR ME AND I WILL ALWAYS WONDER WHAT WOULD OF HAPPENED IF YOU DIDN'T. I GUESS THAT I WILL NEVER WANT TO REMEMBER OR THINK ABOUT BECAUSE YOU DID STAND FOR ME AND I CAN NEVER THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR DOING SO LIKE YOU DID. DAD, YOU SHOULD BE PROUD AND WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING RIGHT NOW YOU SHOULD STOP AND TAKE A BOW BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT. IT REALLY DOESEN'T MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE OR HOW MUCH YOU HAVE BECAUSE IF YOU AREN'T GIVEN THE CHANCE IN LIFE THEN YOU COULD OR WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO BE PART OF IT. DAD, NEVER FEEL YOU DIDN'T ACHIVE ANYTHING IN LIFE BECAUSE YOU ARE AND ALWAYS WILL BE A WINNER IN MY BOOK AND SOMEDAY WHEN WE MEET AGAIN I WILL LOOK YOU EYE TO EYE MAN TO MAN THAT YOU ARE A WINNER TO ME. I WILL ALWAYS CHERRISH AND HOLD ONTO THE THE MEMORIES WE SHARED AND HAD AS A FAMILY AND EVEN THOUGH MY BOOK COMES TO AN END I WILL ALWAYS KEEP YOU IN MY THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS AND MOST OF ALL MY PRAYERS EACH AND EVERYDAY AS I GO FORWARD IN LIFE. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO EVER SAY I WILL FORGET YESTERDAY OR AT TIMES HAVE TEARS ROLL DOWN MY FACE AS YOU SEE IT HAPPENING NOW BUT I WILL TRY MY HARDEST TO MAKE THE MOST OF MY LIFE AND DO THE BEST I CAN AND YOU CAN BE PROUD DAD, AND I HOPE YOU CAN SAY I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE ALSO. I WISH I COULD KEEP THIS BOOK GOING FOREVER BUT I DON'T THINK THEY WOULD HAVE ENOUGH PAPER TO PRINT THIS SO I PROMISE I WILL ALWAYS WAKE UP EACHDAY AND SEE YOUR PICTURE AND STOP AND SAY HELLO DAD AND I KNOW YOU WILL HEAR ME AND THAT YOU WILL BE LOOKING DOWN ON ME SAYING THE SAME IF YOU COULD. IT WILL ALWAYS BE MY HONOR TO PROUD TO CALL YOU MY DAD AND SO GLADE I WAS ABLE TO SHARE THE TIME WE HAD BEEN GIVEN AND ALWAYS HOPE AND WISHED IT WOULD OF BEEN LONGER BUT I'M SO GALDE OF THE TIME I WAS GIVEN AND WILL ALWAYS CHERRISH AND HAVE THOSE MEMORIES AND PICTURES I HAVE OF YOU AND I PROMISE YOU I WILL NEVER LET THAT GO. I PLEASE ASK TO HELP AND GUIDE ME THROUGH THE GOOD AND BAD TIMES I MIGHT RUN INTO BECAUSE I WILL NEED THAT BOOST I NEED TO MAKE IT THROUGH IT. I STILL HAVE A FEW DAYS YET AND WILL TALK ONEMORE TIME BEFORE I LET THIS GO. I WILL SAY GOODBYE FOR RIGHT NOW BUT I WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON I PROMISE YOU. LOVE ALWAYS DAD YOUR SON MARK AND FAMILY. OH, BY THE WAY DAD YOU WOULD OF LOVED JUNIOR I DON'T THINK YOU EVER SAW HIM I KNOW YOU DID GET TO MEET SLED AND OH YA I CANT'T FORGET THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE FAMILY KALI TIFFANY'S CAT AFTER AWHILE DAD I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY TELLS YOU, YOU GET ATTACHED TO YOUR PETS VERY MUCH SO. JUNIOR HAS REALLY PLAYED A BIG PART IN MY LIFE AND YES DAD I HAVE BEEN STIIL WATCHING MY WEIGHT VERY MUCH SO. TODAY I WEIGHRD IN AT 191 POUNDS I JUST CAN'T GET LOWER YET I STILL HAVE MY GOAL OF 185 POUNDS AND I WILL MEET THAT SOMEDAY I PROMISE YOU THAT.WELL DAD UNTIL I TALK AGAIN LOVE YOU YOUR SON MARK.

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY. I'M PRETTY GOOD IT SURE IS HOT TODAY AND THE NEXT FEW DAYS ARE GOING TO BE IN THE UPPER 90'S. WE DO HAVE THE AIR GOING 24-7 UNTIL THIS HEAT SPELL LETS UP. I'M GETTING CLOSER DAD AND READY TO TALK ABOUT WHAT WAS ON MY MIND BUT NOT TODAY LETS JUST BE HAPPY AND THINK OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES AND MEMORIES WE SHARED. WELL FOR NOW DAD I WILL BE IN TOUCH WITH YOU VERY SOON AND HOPE YOU ARE REALLY DOING OKAY BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT MATTERS THE MOST. LOVE YOUR SON MARK AND FAMILY.

HI DAD, WELL WE MADE IT BACK AND HAD A REAL GOOD TIME AND SAW AND MET ALOT OF PEOPLE AS YOU COULD SEE. WE ALL HAD A BLAST AT SIX FLAGS AND GOING TO NEW YORK. I KNOW DAD YOU WOULD OF LIKED IT AGAIN. WE HAD A REAL GOOD BOAT TOUR OF THE WHOLE CITY OF NEW YORK AND AS I SAT LOOKING OUT IN THE WATER DAD A TEAR RAN DOWN MY FACE AND I THOUGHT OF YOU AND HOW IT WASN'T FAIR THAT YOU HAD TO SUFFER LIKE YOU DID FOR SO MANY HOURS,DAYS AND YEARS AS YOU DID. I KNOW DAD THAT YOU ARE LOOKING DOWN AND WOULD SAY DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR ME I'M JUST FINE AND I HOPE EACH DAY THAT IS SO MUCH TRUE BUT I STILL THINK ABOUT YESTERDAY AND TO ME IT STILL AND WILL ALWAYS FEEL LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY UNTIL I DIE. I DID THOUGH DAD WANT TO CHECK IN WITH YOU AND TELL YOU THAT WE REALLY DID HAVE FUN AND THE CONCERT IN ATLANTIC CITY WAS AWSOME ALSO. I'M NOT DONE YET DAD WE HAVE MUCH MORE TO SEE AND I HOPE I WILL BE GIVEN THAT OPPORTUNITY TO DO SO. THE TIME SURE GOES BY SO FAST AS YOU KNOW DAD IT SEEMS UNFAIR HOW YOUR LIFE JUST SLIPES ON BY. WELL DAD I'M STILL GETTING THE COURAGE TO TELL YOU WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY BUT I'M JUST NOT READY JUST YET SO TODAY I WILL LET YOU GO BY TELLING YOU HOW MUCH FUN WE HAD AND IT REMINDES ME OF THE FUN I HAD WITH GRANMA AND GRANPA SUCH ON THOSE VACATIONS THEY TOOK ME ON THAT WAS FUN ALSO AND I MISS THAT TIME SO MUCH AND THAT IS WHY THEY SAY ENJOY LIFE AND EACH DAY AS YOU CAN BECAUSE YOU CAN'T BRING IT BACK EXCEPT MEMORIES THAT WILL ALWAYS SEEM LIKE YESTERDAY TO ME. LOVE YOU DAD AND MISS YOU ALOT YOU SON MARK AND FAMILY.

HI DAD, JUST THOUGHT I SAY GOODBYE AND WILL TALK WHEN WE GET HOME. WE AS YOU SEE ARE GETTING READY TO GO. I WILL HAVE A GOOD TIME AND I PROMISE WE WILL BE CAREFUL. HAVE A GOOD DAY AND REMEMBER WE ALL LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU EACH DAY IN MY THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS SO TAKE CARE AND I WILL TALK SOON. LOVE YOUR SON MARK AND FAMILY.

HI DAD, HOW ARE YOU TODAY. I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD JUST GETTING READY FOR THE TRIP WE ARE ALL LOOKING FORWARD TO IT AS YOU CAN SEE. I HOPE WE ALL HAVE A GOOD TIME AND LOTS OF PICTURES FOR MEMORIES. I DON'T LIKE TO LEAVE MY FRIEND JUNIOR AT THE PET RESORT BUT HE SHOULD BE OKAY I HOPE. WHEN I GET BACK DAD I WILL HAVE TO TALK WITH YOU ABOUT MY ISSUE COMING UP ON AUG. 15 AND I WILL SHARE WITH YOU MY THOUGHTS AND IDEAS AND I HOPE IT WILL ALL WORK OUT FOR THE GOOD. WELL DAD TAKE CARE AND WHEN I GET BACK I WILL TALK AGAIN AND DON'T WORRY DAD WE WILL ALL BE CAREFUL AND ENJOY THE TRIP. I KNOW IF YOU COULD YOU WOULD TELL US THAT. I GUESS DAD I JUST KNOW YOU TO WELL WOULDN'T YOU AGREE. LOVE YOU DAD YOUR SON MARK AND FAMILY.

HELLO DAD, WELL IT'S BEEN 2 YEARS NOW AND I STILL FEEL LIKE IT'S YESTERDAY TO ME. I STILL REMEMBER THAT MORNING DAD OF JULY 12TH 2010 AND THAT WILL ALWAYS BE MY WORST DAY TO EVER THINK ABOUT. DAD, WHEN YOU TOLD CHAD AND I WE COULD CHANGE THE CHANNEL I WAS SURE YOU WOULD BOUNCE BACK AGAIN YOU DID IT BEFORE I REALLY HAD NO DOUBT THAT YOU WOULD AGAIN. I NEVER WANTED TO SAY GOODBYE BECAUSE I JUST WASN'T READY TO HANDLE IT AT ALL. I LOOK AT YOUR PICTURE DAD AND YOU JUST SEEMED TO BE ONE BIG FIGHTER. I WISH DAD I COULD OF DONE THINGS OVER AND LISTENED MORE TO YOU ON ADVICE BUT SOMETIMES WE JUST GROW UP THINKING WE KNOW BEST. WELL I CAN'T TURN BACK TIME DAD OR I WOULD CALL YOU OR COME VISIT YOU BUT AS YOU KNOW I CAN'T. I HAVE THIS PICTURE OF YOU DAD AND YOU SEEM HAPPY AND SMILING AND THAT IS HOW I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU BY. DAD, I WILL ALWAYS CONSIDER YOU A WINNER IN MORE WAYS THAN YOU MAY EVER THINK. I WILL ALWAYS REGRET NEVER SAYING ENOUGH THANK YOU FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME OR TAUGHT ME IN LIFE BUT I KNOW DEEP DOWN DAD YOU KNOW IT AND I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU AND THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE MY DAD AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A LOVING,KIND AND VERY THOUGHTFUL PERSON. I DON'T THINK RIGHT NOW DAD I COULD TELL ANYONE OR ASK HOW A 51 YEAR OLD MAN COULD CRY BUT AS YOU SEE I'M DOING A PRETTY GOOD JOB AND I'M NOT ASHAMED AT ALL. I WILL CRY DAD, JUST LIKE A BABY BUT I WILL LAUGH AGAIN AND ALWAYS HAVE MY SENSE OF HUMOR TO FALL ON AGAIN AND AGAIN. I HAVE LEARNED ALOT FROM YOU DAD AND I WILL ALWAYS MISS PROGRESSIVE LITHO WORKING WITH AND FOR YOU I REALLY ENJOYED IT AND THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY AND EXPERIENCE ALSO. IT WILL ALWAYS BE HARD FOR ME DAD BECAUSE I ALWAYS KEPT THINGS INSIDE BUT I PROMISE YOU DAD YOU WILL BE PROUD AND ONE DAY WE WILL MEET AGAIN AND IT WILL BE MY HONOR TO RUN UP AND SAY OR YELL DAD. I NEVER REALLY THANKED YOU OR REALLY THAUGHT HARD ENOUGH FOR WHAT YOU DID FOR ME WHEN I WAS YOUNGER DAD BUT THAT REALLY SHOWED ME WHAT TYPE OF A MAN IT TAKES TO DO WHAT YOU DID. I WILL ALWAYS CHERRISH MY THOUGHTS AND DREAMS OF WHAT COULD OR SHOULD OF HAPPENED AND NOBODY CAN EVER TAKE THAT FROM ME. I SOMETIMES DAD GET ANGRY AND SAY WHY IT WAS YOUR TURN TO GO AND WONDER WHAT IT WOULD OF BEEN IF YOU DIDN'T PASS AWAY. I NEVER WOULD OF WANTED YOU TO BE IN PAIN AND SUFFER LIKE YOU DID THAT WAS NOT FAIR AT ALL. I REALLY HOPE DAD YOU ARE HAPPY AND THE HURT AND PAIN ARE GONE AND I STILL WOULD OF LIKED TO SEE GRANDMA AND GRANDPA'S FACE WHEN THEY SAW YOU AGAIN THAT WOULD OF BEEN A PICTURE AND THEN SOME. WELL DAD WHEN I GET BACK FROM VACATION WHICH WE ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO AS YOU CAN SEE I MUST TALK WITH YOU ABOUT A SITUATION COMING UP VERY QUICKLY AND TODAY I'M NOT READY TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE I'M NOT SURE HOW TO SAY IT YET BUT I WILL IN TIME AND I LOOK FORWARD TO TELLING YOU AFTER I CAN THINK IT OUT MORE. I WILL ALWAYS KEEP MY PROMISE TO YOU WHEN YOU AND I TALKED ABOUT 2 WEEKS BEFORE YOU PASSED AWAY AND I WILL KEEP THAT OUR OWN SECRET THAT I WILL NEVER SHARE WITH ANYONE I PROMISE YOU THAT DAD. IT WILL ALWAYS BE MY HONOR DAD TO ALWAYS CALL YOU MY DAD NOW AND UNTIL THE DAY I PASS ON AND SINCE WE ARE NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DIE I'M SURE I WILL BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOU FACE TO FACE AND CALL YOU DAD I HOPE AND PRAY FOR THAT. I'M NOT READY DAD YET TO THROW IN THE TOWEL BUT IT WILL COME FAST ENOUGH I'M SURE OF THAT. EACH DAY GOES BY SO FAST IT REALLY ISN'T FUNNY AT ALL. IF YOU COULD OR WOULD FOR A MINUTE THINK ABOUT IT I THINK IT WOULD REALLY SCARE ALL OF US. I STILL HAVE ALOT TO DO AND BE PART OF AND I WILL FIGHT TO KEEP IT GOING AND I WISH DAD I WOULD OF LISTENED WHEN YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE SAID WATCH YOUR WEIGHT AND HEALTH BUT I DIDN'T AND WHEN I DID I HOPE IT WASN'T TO LATE BECAUSE I REALLY WILL AND HAVE BEEN TRYING VERY HARD AS YOU CAN SEE AND TELL DAD. I HAVE BEEN WORKING VERY HARD AND I AM VERY PROUD THUS FAR OF THE RESULTS AND HAVE MORE YET TO DO. THIS MISSION DAD IS NOT DONE JUST YET. I'M LOOKING DAD AT THAT PICTURE YOU DID OF YOUR FATHER GRANDPA AND I JUST THINK ABOUT ALL THE TALENT AND HIDDEN TALENT YOU HAD THAT PEOPLE INCLUDING MYSELF KNEW THAT YOU HAD BECAUSE IT'S SOMETHING DAD YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF. DAD. TODAY BONNIE AND I SPENT TIME WITH MOM'S FRIENDS SHEILA AND BARB AND I'M HAPPY FOR MOM SHE SEEMS HAPPY TODAY AND PROUD MAYBE YOU COULD AND WOULD PLEASE LEAVE MOM A SIGN YOU ARE WATCHING OVER AND SHOW MOM THE HAPPINESS AND LOVE SO MOM CAN BE HAPPY ALSO. IT MEANS SO MUCH DAD WHEN MOM CAN FEEL YOUR PRESENCE ALL AROUND AS WE ALL DO. DAD EVEN THOUGH I CAN'T SEE YOU YOU WILL ALWAYS BE APART OF MY LIFE FOREVER I PROMISE YOU THAT. WELL DAD I WILL LET YOU GO FOR KNOW AND WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON ESPECIALLY BEFORE MY TRIP BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER DAD I WILL AND STILL ALWAYS MISS AND LOVE YOU AND SO HAPPY TO CALL YOU DAD. LOVE YOUR SON MARK.

HELLO DAD HAPPY 4TH OF JULY TO YOU. HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY. I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD 4TH WITH ALL OUR LOVED ONES AND ESPECIALLY GRANDMA AND GRANDPA. TODAY WE BONNIE AND I ARE HAVING TODD'S FAMILY AND CHAD'S FAMILY OVER FOR THE 4TH AND WATCH THE FIREWORKS OF THE DECK OF OUR NEW HOUSE I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THEM THIS WILL BE NEW TO US ALSO BUT I CAN IMAGINE IT WILL BE REALLY GOOD. I'M SITTING AT YOUR DESK DAD AND JUST THINKING ABOUT ALL THOSE GOOD DAYS WE HAD AS A FAMILY AND I REALLY MISS YOU DAD AS YOU CAN SEE THOSE TEARS JUST WONT STOP BUT I WILL TUFF IT OUT DAD AS YOU WOULD WANT TO SEE ME DO AND I PROMISE I WILL BUT IT JUST IS REALLY HARD FOR ME STILL AND IT DOSEN'T GET ANY EASIER AS THE DAYS GO BY I THINK SOMETIMES IT GETS HARDER FOR ME TO DEAL WITH. WELL AS YOU CAN SEE TIFFANY IS BACK HOME WITH US AND I'M REALLY GLADE AND I HOPE TIFFANY CAN FIND A GOOD JOB AND IS HAPPY SHE REALLY HAS EARNED IT. WELL DAD WE ARE GETTING READY FOR OUR FAMILY VACATION AND THIS YEAR WE HAVE DECIDED TO GO TO PHILADELPHIA,NEW YORK, AND ATLANTIC CITY AND IT SURE LOOKS LIKE WE WILL HAVE FUN. WHITNEY I THINK HAS BEEN THE MOST EXCITED AND SHE SURE HAS PUT ALOT OF TIME CHECKING ON WHAT WE CAN DO AND SEESO I'M GLADE FOR THAT AND I'M GLADE SHE IS HAPPY. WHITNEY STILL IS DOING GOOD AT HER NEW JOB AND I'M GLADE WHITNEY FOUND SOMETHING SHE FEELS GOOD ABOUT EACH AND EVERY DAY. BONNIE AND I ARE DOING PRETTY GOOD DAD WE HAVE BEEN REALLY SPENDING ALOT OF TIME AT THE HOUSES AND I THINK BONNIE'S PARENTS WOULD BE HAPPY WITH WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW. I KNOW IF NORMAN AND LOLA ARE HAPPY THAT WOULD MAKE BONNIE REALLY HAPPY INSIDE AND SHE NEEDS THAT ALSO DAD BECAUSE BONNIE STRUGGLES AT TIMES WITH THE LOSS OF HER PARENTS AND IT SOMETIMES CAN REALLY BE HARD. OH YEA I ALMOST FORGOT YOU CAN SEE DAD THAT WE HAVE A NEW ADITTION TO THE FAMILY KALI TIFFANY'S NEW CAT. KALI IS A FUN LOVING CAT AND I THINK SHE HAS A REAL NICE HOME WOULDN'T YOU SAY SO. JUNIOR HAS REALLY BEEN GOOD WITH KALI AND SEEM TO GET ALONG PRETTY GOOD AND I THINK AS FOR JUNIOR THE MAN OF THE HOUSE HE HAS WELCOMED KALI IN VERY NICELY AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPY TO SEE. WELL DAD I MUST RUN FOR NOW AND HELP BONNIE FOR TONIGHT AND HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE 4TH OF JULY AND WHEN I SEE THAT FIRST FIREWORK IN THE SKY I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER THE TIMES ON YOUR PORCH WITH YOU AND MOM AND NOTHING COULD OR WILL EVER TAKE THOSE DAYS FROM ME I PROMISE YOU THAT DAD. WELL DAD I WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON GIVE OUR LOVE TO ALL THOSE WE MISS AND HAVE THE BEST 4TH OF JULY DAD YOU DESERVE IT. DAD SOMETIME LETN ME KNOW INSIDE YOU ARE OKAY BECAUSE I NEED THAT TO HOLD ON TO EACH DAY AS I GO FORWARD WITH MY FAMILY AND YOU CAN BE THE ONLY ONE DAD TO GIVE ME THAT COMFORT I'M LOOKING FOR AND I NEED. WELL I'LL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON. LOVE YOUR SON MARK ALWAYS DAD.

HELLO DAD, THOUGHT I WOULD JUST STOP FOR A MINUTE AND SAY HELLO. I HOPE ALL IS WELL WITHYOU AND I WILL TALK REAL SOON DON'T EVER WORRY I NEVER HAVE OR WILL FORGET ABOUT YOU EVEN THOUGH THE DAYS GO BY SO FAST I STILL IN MY MIND I THINK ABOUT YOU AND YESTERDAY ALL THE THE TIME. WE ARE TRYING TO GET TIFFANY SETTELED IN THE HOUSE AND THINGS HAVE BEEN REAL CRAZY AS YOU CAN SEE. THANK GOD DAD THE WASHER CATCHING ON FIRE WAS JUST MINOR. WELL I WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY EARLY DAD WE ARE ON OUR WAY TO MISSOULA TO BRING TIFFANY BACK HOME SO I WILL TALK TO YOU WHEN WE GET HOME AGAIN HAPPY FATHER'S DAY MISS AND LOVE YOU YOUR SON MARK AND FAMILY.

HI DAD HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY. I'M DOING GOOD AS YOU COULD SEE WE HAD A GOOD DAY IN HELENA TIFFANY PASSED THE ECHO TEST AND WE ARE ALL REAL HAPPY AS SO IS TIFFANY. TODAY I'M REALLY PROUD OF TIFFANY AND ALL THE HARD WORK THAT WAS PUT IN IT PAID OFF FOR TIFFANY AND I'M REALLY HAPPY. I SOMETIMES FEEL DAD THAT ALL THE HARD WORK WE PUT INAT WORK WAS FOR NOTHING AND FEEL THAT I DIDN'T ACCOMPLISH MUCH AND SHOW MY FAMILY THAT I WAS PART OF SOMETHING BUT THINGS CHANGE DAD AND SEEING TIFFANY REACH THIS GOAL MADE ME FEEL THAT I WAS PART OF A GOOD BEGINNING FOR SOMEONE AND I'M SO PROUD TO SAY IT WAS MY DAUGHTER AND I WOULDN'T CHANGE THE WORLD TO SEE TIFFANY'S FACE AND ACTIONS WHEN SHE PASSED THIS 178 QUESTION TEST. WELL DAD WE MOVE FORWARD AND TRY TO BUILD ON MORE GOOD THINGS AND TRY TO BE PART OF IT. THIS WEEKEND WE GO GET TIFFANY FROM MISSOULA AND MOVE TIFFANY BACK HOME SO THAT WILL BE GOOD. I'M ALSO PROUD OF MY DAUGHTER WHITNEY FOR GOING OUT IN THE REAL WORLD AND WORKING HARD AT THE NEW JOB. WHITNEY SEEMS TO REALLY LIKE IT AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPY AND HOPE SHE CAN MOVE UP AND STAY WITH IT. IF TODAY DAD WAS MY LAST DAY I WOULD BE HAPPY TO SAY MY KIDS WILL BE OKAY AND I HOPE THEY WILL ACHIVE MANY MANY GOALS IN LIFE. WELL DAD IT'S TIME FOR BREAKFAST SO I WILL LET YOU GO FOR NOW AND TALK REAL SOON. LOVE ALWAYS YOUR SON MARK. PS. THANK YOU AGAIN DAD FOR BEING PART OF MY LIFE.

HELLO DAD, HOW IS IT GOING TODAY WITH YOU. I'M DOING OKAY STILL WORKING ON MY WEIGHT TODAY I WEIGHED IN AT 189.2 POUNDS. I JUST CAN'T GET TO MY GOAL OF 185.0 POUNDS JUST YET BUT I WILL. THE WEATHER IS NOW STARTING TO GET WARMER EACH DAY. THE TIME DAD IS SURE JUST FLYING BY SO FAST. I WISH TIME WOULD SLOW DOWN BUT I CAN'T CHANGE THAT I GUESS. WE ARE STILL TRYING TO GET SETTELED IN WITH THE NEW HOUSE AND ALMOST FINISHED WITH THE OTHER HOUSE AND AS YOU SEE WE ARE TRYING TO SELL THAT HOUSE AND REALLY PRAY IT WILL SELL WITH THE LEAST AMOUNT OF TIME AND PAIN. THE PAIN IS FOR BONNIE DAD JUST LIKE WE HAD TO DO IN OUR TIME IS LET GO OF THINGS WE MISS AND LOVE VERY MUCH SO AND I CAN SURE TELL YOU IT HURTS. BONNIE HAS BEEN DOING PRETTY GOOD DAD BUT SHE STRUGGELES ALSO AND AT TIMES NEED AND WISH SHE COULD TALK WITH HER PARENTS BUT SHE HURTS ALSO DAD JUST LIKE I AND THE REST OF THE FAMILY STILL DOES. DAD TO ME IT FEELS JUST LIKE YESTERDAT STILL AND I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO CHANGE THAT FEELING EVER. I HOPE DAD THAT MOM IS HAVING A GOOD TIME BACK WITH THE FAMILY. DAD, MOM STILL STUGGELES AND I HOPE YOU HELP AND TRY TO MAKE MOM STRONGER EACH AND EVERYDAY SHE AND ALL OF US GO FORWARD IN LIFE. I WISH SOMEHOW DAD YOU COULD TELL US YOU ARE OKAY AND NOT TO WORRY BECAUSE THAT WOULD PUT ALL OF OUR MINDS AT EASE. I WISH DAD YOU COULD GIVE US ALL A SIGN OR FEELING THAT DYING ISN'T TO BE AFFRAID OF BECAUSE TO THIS DAY DAD I'M STILL AFFRAID OF DYING I KNOW HOW I FEEL AND FELT WHEN YOU PASSED AWAY AND I KNOW THAT MY CHILDREN WHITNEY,TIFFANY, JUNIOR AND BONNIE WOULD FEEL AND I DON'T WON'T TO HURT THEM AT ALL. I GUESS DAD WE MUST ALL GO THROUGH IT SOMEDAY AND THAT'S WHY WE SHOULD ENJOY THE TIME WE ARE GIVEN AND BE HAPPY. DAD I MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE WITH CEDAR POINT DOING SOMETHING I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THINKING ABOUT FOR SOMETIME NOW SO KEEP OUR FINGERS CROSS AND AS I GO FORWARD I WILL LET YOU KNOW ABOUT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT. IF YOU CAN DAD I WISH YOU COULD HELP BONNIE AND LET BONNIES'S PARENTS KNOW SHE NEEDS THERE GUIDANCE AND STRUGGELES EACH AND EVERY DAY. BONNIE HAS SO MUCH RIGHT NOW ON HER PLATE SHE JUST NEEDS A FEELING AND THE LOVE OF LOLA AND NORMAN THAT SHE IS DOING RIGHT AND THAT THEY WOULD RESPECT BONNIES DECISIONS SHE NEEDS TO MAKE EACH AND EVERYDAY SHE GOES FORWARD IN LIFE. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY THIS DAD BUT LOVE, HONOR AND RESPECT SURE GO ALONG WAY IN MY BOOK. WELL DAD I'M GOING TO LET YOU GO FOR NOW AND WILL CHECK BACK IN WITH YOU REAL SOON SO HAVE A GOOD NIGHT AND PLEASE GIVE OUR LOVE AND WE MISS YOU ALL VERY MUCH DAD. LOVE YOUR SON MARK.

HELLO DAD JUST THOUGHT I WOULD SAY HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY TO YOU. HOPE EVERYTHING IS GOING WELL FOR YOU TODAY. THE WEEKEND SURE FLEW BY THAT'S FOR SURE. WELL DAD I WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON TO YOU SO TAKE CARE. LOVE YOUR SON MARK.

MORNING DAD, THOUGHT I WOULD CHECK IN WITH YOU WE ARE ON OUR WAY TO SEE TIFFANY FOR THE WEEKEND IN MISSOULA AND STAY A FEW NIGHTS. HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY I'M OKAY MY WEIGHT IS A LITTLE OFF TODAY I CHECKED IN AT 188.4 POUNDS NOT BAD BUT I NEED TO GET CLOSER TO MY GOAL I ONLY HAVE A FEW DAYS LEFT. I'M SITTING AT YOUR DESK DAD AS YOU CAN SEE AND I REMEMBER YOU SITTING JUST LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. I ALSO TURN AROUND AND SEE YOUR FATHER ON THE WALL OF GRANDPA SUCH THE PICTURE YOU DREW AND WOODBURNED IT STILL LOOKS SO REAL AND LIKE YOU ALSO DID IT YESTERDAY. I'M REALLY PROUD AND HONORED I HAVE IT AND WILL ALWAYS CHERRISH IT AND NEVER FORGET YOU DADI PROMISE YOU THAT AS LONG AS I LIVE ON WITH MY FAMILY. I'M SO GLADE MOM THOUGHT OF ME AND GAVE IT TO ME AND ALSO GLADE MY BROTHERS AND SISTER KNEW I WOULD LIKE THEM AND THOUGHT OF ME ALSO IT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD INSIDE AS YOU ARE WITH ME DAD AND THAT IS WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW. WELL DAD WE ARE GETTING READY TO TAKE OFF AND I WILL TALK TO YOU WHEN I GET HOME SO TAKE CARE AND SAY HI TO EVERYONE FOR ME AND WILL TALK REAL SOON. LOVE YOU DAD YOUR SON MARK.

MORNING DAD, I HAD TO STOP AND TELL YOU TODAY I WEIGH IN AT 187.4 POUNDS MAKES ME REALLY HAPPY BUT NOT FEELING VERY WELL TODAY BUT I WILL FIGHT IT AND HOPE I CAN COME OUT OF IT SOON. I HOPE YOU ARE OKAY BECAUSE WE DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ALL OF US NOT FEELING GOOD. I WISH DAD I COULD SEE YOU NOW THAT ALL YOUR PAIN IS GONE AND I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY. I BET YOU LOOK LIKE A YOUNG MAN READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD I MISS YOU DAD AS EACH DAY GOES BY AND STILL STRUGGLE BUT I PROMISED YOU AND I PROMISE I WILL KEEP TRYING EACH DAY OF MY LIFE. DAD, AS I TALK WITH YOU LOOK I STILL START TO CRY LIKE A BABY AS IF IT WAS YESTERDAY WHICH I SHOULDN'T ALL THE TIME BUT IT ALSO TELLS ME WHAT AN IMPACT AND GOOD FATHER YOU ARE TO ME AND ALWAYS WILL BE AND AS MY TIME GOES BY AND AS YOU KNOW TIME SURE FLYS BY ONE DAY MY REWARD WILL BE TO SEE YOU AGAIN AND THAT WILL BE A SPECIAL DAY FOR ME AGAIN AND I HOPE YOU WILL BE WAITING FOR ME AND BRING BACK TO YOUR HOUSE AGAIN AND WE CAN START AGAIN WITH A NEW LIFE. TODAY DAD MY FAMILY NEEDS ME BECAUSE I STILL HAVE ALOT TO ACCOMPLISH AND SEE THROUGH WITH MY FAMILY AND I NEVER WANT MY DAUGHTERS WHITNEY AND TIFFANY AND MY WIFE BONNIE AND MY BEST FRIEND JUNIOR TO GO THROUGH THIS FEELING AND PAIN I GO THROUGH WHEN I THINK OF YOU DAD. I JUST HOPE THEY ARE STRONGER THAN I HAVE BEEN THUS FAR AND I HOPE AND PRAY I WILL GET STRONGER AS TIME GOES BY. WELL I'M REALLY SAD TODAY AND DON'T FEEL ALL THAT GOOD SO I WILL LET YOU GO AND TALK AGAIN REAL SOON AND I HOPE SEEING ME SAD DOESEN'T MAKE YOU SAD BECAUSE ALL THAT WILL MAKE ME HAPPY IS KNOWING THAT YOU ARE AS HAPPY AS YOU CAN BE DAD AND I REALLY MEAN THAT. TAKE CARE AND I WILL TALK SOON LOVE YOUR SON MARK.

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY. I'M DOING OKAY AS YOU COULD SEE JUST HAD 2 TEETH PULLED ON FRIDAY AND I'M MISERABLE BUT I SHOULD START FEELING BETTER IN A DAY OR SO I HOPE. WELL TODAY I WEIGHED IN AT 189.4 POUNDS DAD THAT IS THE BEST YET AND MY GOAL WAS 185 OR BETTER BY MY BIRTHDAY I'M GETTING CLOSER KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED FOR ME. DAD WE BONNIE AND I ARE STILL TRYING TO GET SETTELED IN BUT IT'S TAKING AWHILE AS BONNIE IS TRYING TO GET THE OTHER HOUSE READY TO SELL AND THAT WILL REALLY HELP THE DAY WE CAN SELL IT. I THINK THE HOUSE IS A REAL NICE HOUSE AND I HOPE SOMEONE WILL ONE DAY ENJOY IT AS BONNIE'S PARENTS DID FOR MANY YEARS. WELL TONIGHT I MUST KEEP IT SHORT BECAUSE THE PAIN MEDICINE I TAKE LET'S ME JUST KEEP MY HEAD UP AND I WANT TO FALL ASLEEP SO BAD BUT I TRY TO FIGHT IT SO I CAN GET A GOOD NIGHTS REST AND TRY TO FEEL FRESH BY MORNING BUT THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS I FEEL WORSE I HOPE I COME OUT OF IT REAL SOON OR IT WILL START TO WORRY ME. WELL DAD, I'M GOING TO RUN TONIGHT AND PROMISE I WILL TALK REAL SOON WHEN I CAN THINK STRAIGHT AND FEEL BETTER SO I WILL TALK AGAIN. LOVE YOUR SON MARK P.S. PLEASE SAY HELLO AND GIVE OUR LOVE TO ALL THOSE WE MISS AND LOVE SO MUCH THANKS DAD.

HI DAD, THOUGHT I WOULD JUST STOP AND SAY HI AND SEE HOW YOU ARE TONIGHT. I'M JUST GETTING READY FOR BED IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY TODAY AND THE TIME AND DAYS JUST FLY BY FOR BONNIE AND I. THE TIME GOES BY DAD BUT I GET UP EACH AND EVERYDAY AND JUST SAY HOW LUCKY I AM AND WANT TO JUST ENJOY EACH MINUTE THAT I CAN BECAUSE I SEE HOW YOU CAN LOOSE EVERYTHING IN A SECOND IF YOU ARE NOT CAREFUL. THE NEW HOUSE DAD AS YOU CAN SEE IS SURE COMING ALONG JUST FINE AND SOON WE WILL BE ABLE TO SITE BACK AND ENJOY IT BUT WE MUST GET OUR WORK DONE FISRT. WELL DAD I THINK I'M GOING TO CALL IT A NIGHT STARTING TO GET REALLY TIRED. I WILL TALK REAL SOON AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND REMEMBER FROM THE TIME I WAKE UNTIL I GO TO SLEEP I WILL ALWAYS WONDER ABOUT YOU EACH AND EVERY DAY. LOVE ALWAYS YOUR SON MARK AND FAMILY.

HLLO DAD, HOW ARE THINGS TODAY WITH YOU. I HOPE YOU ARE DOING GOOD AND ARE HAPPY BECAUSE THAT WILL MAKE ME SO HAPPY. WELL I'M STILL DOING PRETTY GOOD WITH MY WEIGHT TODAY I'M AT 190.8 POUNDS AND STILL GOING. TODAY DAD IS NORMAN'S BIRTHDAY HE WOULD OF BEEN 92 YEARS YOUNG SO PLEASE GIVE OUR BEST AND PLEASE TELL HIM HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM BONNIE AND I. I BET DAD BONNIES MOM LOLA IS SO HAPPY TO BE WITH NORMAN ESPECIALLY ON SPECIAL DAYS LIKE THIS EVEN THOUGH WE SURE MISS THEM SO MUCH IT MUST FEEL GOOD FOR THEM ONCE AGAIN. I KNOW DAD YOU MISS ALL OF US AND ESPECIALLY MOM AND I KNOW WE ALL MISS YOU SO MUCH ALSO BUT IN TIME I GUESS WE WILL ALL LEARN WHAT THIS CRAZY LIFE IS ALL ABOUT SOMEDAY. I HOPE GRANDMA AND GRANDPA SUCH AND SOMMERS ARE ALL DOING WELL ALSO SOMEDAYS I THINK ALOT ABOUT THEM AND HOW IT WAS YESTERDAY BECAUSE IT REALLY SOMETIMES SEEM SO LONG AGO WITH ALL MT THOUGHTS AND MEMORIES WE ALL SHARED. I SURE MISS ALL THE FUN WE HAD TIME REALLY GOES BY FAST AND SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY EVEN THOUGH ITS BEEN YEARS. I TALK WITH YOU DAD AND SEE YOUR PICTURE AND I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE STILL AROUND ME AND SOMETIMES WANT TO CALL OUT YOUR NAME AND SAY DAD BUT I KNOW PEOPLE WOULD THINK I WAS NUTS SO I WON'T DO THAT BUT I KNOW YOU UNDERSTAND ME DAD AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME. WELL DAD I GOING TO RUN FOR NOW AND I PROMISE I WILL TALK REAL SOON TO YOU AGAIN. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HAPPY EASTER DAD IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE WE HAVE TALKED BUT WE HAVE MOVED IN AND BONNIE AND I ARE STARTING TO GET THINGS UNDER CONTROL SLOWLY BUT IT WILL ALL COME TOGETHER VERY SOON. HOW HAVE YOU BEEN DOING I HOPE YOU ARE OKAY AND ARE HAPPY DAD BECAUSE I STILL MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND I DON'T TELL MANY PEOPLE BUT SOMETIMES I'M NOT AS STRONG AS I THINK I SHOULD BE AND I DON'T THINK ANYBODY WOULD UNDERSTAND WHAT GOES ON IN MY MIND BECAUSE SOMETIMES I DON'T EITHER BUT I TRY VERY HARD TO WORK IT OUT. WELL DAD THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT TODAY I WEIGH IN AT 192.8 POUNDS TODAY AND STILL GOING. I FEEL BAD IT'S BEEN WELL OVER A MONTH SINCE WE HAVE TALKED BUT WE HAVE BEEN VERY BUISY AS YOU CAN SEE AND I KNOW YOU CAN SEE BUT I REALLY ENJOY THE HOUSE AND THE VIEW ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT IT'S AMAZING TO SEE IT. I SURE HOPE THAT BONNIE'S PARENTS LOOK DOWN AND LIKE THE HOUSE AND THE VIEW ALSO I WISH WE COULD HAVE ALL OF YOU OVER AND SEE IT BUT IN MY HEART I KNOW YOU CAN ALL SEE IT AND WILL ALWAYS BE APART OF OUR LIVES FOREVER AND THAT WILL ALWAYS BE SPECIAL. WELL DAD PLEASE SAY HELLO AND GIVE EVERYONE MY BEST AND WISH EVERYONE A VERY HAPPY EASTER. TELL GRANDMA AND GRANDPA SOMMERS AND SUCH HELLO AND TELL GRANDMA AND GRANDPA SUCH I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THEM ALOT. I CAN'T DO YOUR TRICK DAD IN THIS HOUSE BUT I THINK ABOUT IT WHEN YOU WOULD THROW A COOKED EASTER EGG UP ON THE WALL HA HA HA THAT WAS FUNNY. DAD, THOSE ARE THE GOOD DAYS AND ALL WE CAN DO IS SHARE WITH OTHERS ALL THE GOOD TIMES AND MEMORIES AND I PROMISE YOU THAT I WILL NEVER LET IT GO AS LONG AS I LIVE I PROMISE YOU THAT. WELL I GUESS DAD I WILL LET YOU GO AND HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD EASTER AND REMEMBER I WILL ALWAYS MISS AND LOVE YOU. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU TONIGHT. I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD I WEIGHED IN TODAY AT 195.5 LBS. AND STILL GOING AS YOU SEE ME. I STILL WILL NOT GIVE UP AND I PROMISE I WILL ACHIVE MY GOAL. I DIDN'T REALLY TALK TO YOU SO MUCH ABOUT ME NOT DOING SANTA THIS YEAR BUT IT WAS REALLY FOR ME THIS YEAR AND I REALLY APPRECIATE CHAD AND MOM PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER AND MAKING IT A REALLY NICE AND I WILL NEVER FORGET XMAS 2011. DAD, IT SURE BROUGHT BACK ALOT OF MEMORIES AND WOW THE TIME HAS REALLY GONE BY FAST. DAD, I WASN'T SANTA BUT I NEVER WILL FORGET ALL THE GOOD AND FUN TIMES WE SHARED AND XMAS EVE I DID SHOW A FEW TEARS BECAUSE I REMEMBERD MAKING YOU MY FIST STOP BEFORE YOU WENT TO SLEEP AND I REALLY MISSED THAT AND I WILL ALWAYS CHERRISH THAT SPECIAL NIGHT AS LONG AS I LIVE AND SOMEDAY WE WILL MEET UP AND BRING THOSE MEMORIES BACK AGAIN AND SHARE IT AS IF IT WAS YESTERDAY. WELL DAD BONNIE AND I WILL SOON BE IN THE NEW HOUSE AND WE ARE REALLY EXCITED BUT WE HAVE ALOT OF WORK YET BUT SOON IT WILL BE TIME AND WE WILL BE MOVED IN AND START A NEW BEGINNING. I STILL REMEMBER THE GOOD DAYS AT PROGRESSIVE LITHO PLATE CO. DAD,THOSE ARE STILL GOOD DAYS TO ME AND I STILL REMEMBER THE DAY WE RECEVIED THE PHONE CALL THAT I WAS EXCEPTED AT ST.EDWARDS HIGH SCHOOL I KNOW DAD THAT MADE YOU HAPPY BECAUSE I STILL HAVE THOSE MEMORIES IN MY MIND AND I STILL PICTURE YOUR FACE AND I KNOW YOU HAD A LOOK OF JOY AND HAPPINESS AND I WAS ALSO VERY MUCH SO. I HAVE SO MANY THINGS WE COULD TALK ABOUT BUT WE WOULD NEED SO MUCH TIME BUT I KNOW YOU AND I WILL HOLD THESE MEMORIES AND GOOD TIMES ALWAYS IN OUR HEARTS. I SURE HOPE DAD THAT YOU AND NORMAN SPEND TIME TOGETHER BECAUSE NORMAN WAS A GOOD MAN AND HELPED BONNIE AND I ALOT AS WELL AS MY CHILDREN AND WE COULD NEVER REPAY OR EVEN BEGIN TO THANK HIM SO I ASK YOU DAD TO THANK HIM FOR US AND SOMEDAY WE WILL ALL MEET UP AND TALK ABOUT THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD AND SHARED. OH YA DAD, TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD BONNIES MOM LOLA ALWAYS SAID YOU ARE SURE A HANDSOME MAN SO DON'T LET THAT GO TO YOUR HEAD BUT THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH AND THOSE AGAIN ARE THE GOOD MEMORIES WE ALL HAVE AND NOBODY CAN TAKE IT AWAY FROM US. WELL DAD I'M GOING TO LET YOU GO AND WE WILL LEAVE WITH ALL THESE HAPPY MEMORIES AND AS WE GO TO SLEEP AT NIGHT DAD WE THINK AND REMEMBER ALL THESE GOOD TIMES AND MEMORIES AND WE FALL ASLEEP WITH A SMILE AS WE SHUT OUR EYES. WELL DAD GOODNIGHT AND AGAIN SAY HELLO TO ALL THOSE WE MISS AND LOVE SO VERY MUCH AND AS LIFE SOMETIMES CAN BE LIKE A ROLLERCOASTER I SURE HOPE THE MAN WHO PUSHED THE BUTTON ON MY ROLLERCOASTER RIDE NEVER COMES BACK AND STOPS IT BECAUSE I STILL WANT TO HAVE FUN YET DAD AND AS I HAVE TOLD YOU MANY TIMES I HAVE ALOT I STILL WON'T TO DO AND ACHIVE YET. LOVE YOU ALWAYS DAD AND WILL NEVER FORGET YOU LOVE YOUR SON ALWAYS MARK.

HI DAD, JUST LET YOU KNOW WE HAD A GOOD TIME WITH TIFFANY IN SPOKANE AND SHE DID A REAL GOOD JOB SCANNING ME. I WILL GIVE THESE CD'S TIFFANY MADE FOR ME TO MY HEART DOCTOR AND I HOPE HE SAYS GOOD THINGS. I HOPE MY HEART IS STILL GOOD AND I DON'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE. I WAS TOLD IN SPOKANE THAT MY NECK HAD A FEW AREAS OF CONCERN AND EVEN THOUGH IT WAS GOOD THEY COULD SEE MY PROBLEM AREAS I HOPE IT WILL GO AWAY. BONNIE AND I HAD A GOOD VISIT AND IT WILL ALWAYS BE HARD FOR ME TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO MY GIRLS BUT I KNOW THAT I MUST. WELL DAD WHEN I GET MY RESULTS FROM MY DOCTOR I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON. I WILL TALK AGAIN DAD REAL SOON. AMTRAK WAS A REAL GOOD TIME AND WOULD DO IT AGAIN WHEN POSSIBLE. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU TONIGHT IT'S BEEN A FEW DAYS SINCE WE HAVE TALKED. I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD MY WEIGHT TODAY WAS 196.8 POUNDS BUT IT SURE SEEMS LIKE IT GETS HARDER AND HARDER EACH DAY TO LOOSE. DAD I'M STILL TRYING AND MY GOAL IS STILL TO GET AROUND 185.0 POUNDS AND I PROMISE YOU I WILL GET TO IT VERY SOON. WELL DAD BONNIE AND I BOUGHT A HOUSE UP IN RIVERVIEW ON SKYLINE DRIVE AND THE VIEW IS JUST AWSOME AND I REALLY WISH YOU COULD SEE IT WITH US EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOU DO SEE IT AND I KNOW YOU WOULD REALLY ENJOY THE VIEW THAT'S FOR SURE. I'M REALLY GOING TO BE HAPPY AND I KNOW THAT BONNIE WILL BE ALSO ONCE WE GET MOVED IN AND EVERYTHING IS SET UP LIKE HOME AGAIN. I WISH YOU THE BEST DAD AND HOPE THAT IN TIME YOU WILL GIVE ME A SIGN THAT YOU LIKE AND APPROVE WHAT WE ARE DOING BECAUSE IT REALLY MEANS ALOT TO ME THAT YOU HELP ME. I ALSO DAD WENT TO MY NEW HEART DOCTOR WHO IS DR. WALKER AND I REALLY LIKE HIM AND RESPECT WHAT HE TELLS ME AND HE TOLD ME THINGS ARE LOOKING GOOD AND KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK SO THAT MADE BONNIE AND I REALLY HAPPY AND I KNOW THE WEIGHT WAS A BIG FACTOR I JUST WISH I WOULD OF STARTED SOONER BUT I JUST KEEP GOING FORWARD EACH DAY AND KEEP IT UP WITH MY HARD WORK AND MY GOALS AND I WISH THAT SOMEDAY DAD I WILL LOOK BACK AND SAY I DID IT. WELL DAD I'M GOING TO TAKE MY MEDICINE AND JUST RELAX AND GET READY FOR BED SOON I PROMISE WE WILL TALK AGAIN REALLY SOON. LOVE YOU DAD AND PLEASE TELL ALL OUR LOVED ONES HELLO AND WE MISS AND LOVE THEM ALL VERY MUCH. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HELLO DAD, I THOUGHT I WOULD JUST SAY HELLO AND SEE HOW YOU ARE DOING. I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD I GUESS. I'M STILL WATCHING MY WEIGHT AND TODAY I WEIGHED IN AT 196.5 POUNDS. I WISH I COULD GET TO MY GOAL BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE IT REALLY GETS TOUGHER AT A CERTAIN POINT BUT I WILL KEEP GOING. I WILL SHOW YOU DAD THAT I WILL AND CAN DO IT. THE TIME IS SURE GOING BY VERY FAST EACH DAY JUST GOES BY QUICK IT REALLY CAN GET SCARY. WELL DAD SAY HELLO TO EVERYONE FOR ME PLEASE AND I WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON. I MISS AND LOVE YOU DAD AND WILL ALWAYS KEEP YOU IN MY THOUGHTS AND MY PRAYERS LOVE YOUR SON MARK.

HELLO DAD, AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD OF BEEN 72 YEARS OLD THAT IS STILL YOUNG IN MY BOOK. DAD, YOU SURE DIDN'T LOOK YOUR AGE THAT'S FOR SURE. I STILL SEE YOUR PICTURE AND JUST CANT SEEM TO SAY YOU ARE GONE AND I JUST WILL NEVER EVER EXCEPT IT BUT I ALSO REALIZE I GUESS YOU DON'T LIVE FOREVER BUT I WISH YOU WOULD OF BEEN GIVEN A CHANCE AND NOT HAD TO SUFFER AS YOU DID FOR SO LONG. DAD, YOU SUFFERED WITH THIS FOR 10 YEARS AND THAT WAS JUST NOT FAIR TO ME OR MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU IT JUST SEEMED IT WENT BY SO FAST AND YOU LEAVE SO MUCH BEHIND. I REALLY HOPE DAD THAT YOU ARE HAPPY AND YOU ARE OUT OF PAIN BECAUSE THAT IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND TO ALL OF US AND AS LONG AS YOU ARE HAPPY NOW WE CAN BE HAPPY FOR YOU AND TRY NOT TO MAKE YOU SADE AND MISS ALL OF US ANYMORE THAN YOU DO AND HOW WE MISS YOU SO MUCH. I WANT TO BE HAPPY FOR YOU DAD AND WANT YOU TO ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY AND AND WITH ALL YOUR LOVED ONES YOU AND WE HAVE MISSED FOR SO LONG AND THAT IS IMPORATNT THAT YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY. WELL DAD, I WILL SAY GOODNIGHT AND AGAIN HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND I MISS AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND WHEN I NEED YOU DAD YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON ME SAYING DAD WHAT SHOULD I DO OR WHAT SHOULD I HAVE DONE IN SITUATIONS AND I WILL ALWAYS KNOW YOU WILL TRY TO GUIDE AND HELP ME THROUGH MY PROBLEMS AND I WILL ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU DAD AND I MEAN THAT SO PLEASE DON'T LET ME DOWN BECAUSE AT TIMES I'M STILL NOT STRONG ENOUGH AND I WILL NEED YOU TO PICK ME UP AND I REALLY RESPECT YOU FOR THIS AND YOUR LOVE SO THANK YOU DAD FOR THAT. I REALLY DO FEEL YOU AROUND ME DAD AT TIMES AND I'M NOT AFFRAID TO TELL YOU THIS BECAUSE I KNOW DEEP DOWN YOU CAN TELL. WELL DAD IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN FOR ME MY PILLS AND I SURE WOULDN'T WANT TO BE LATE WITH THEM. HA HA HA. LOVE AND MISS YOU DAD YOUR SON MARK

HELLO DAD, HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU AND TO ALL THOSE WE MISS AND LOVE SO MUCH. HOW ARE YOU DOING DAD I HOPE YOUR NEW YEARS WILL BE A GOOD ONE. I SURE MISS COOKING THOSE LIITLE WINNIES ON NEW YEARS EVE LIKE WE USED TO SHARE. I KNOW DAD THAT I CAN STILL DO IT BUT IT SURE WILL NEVER FEEL THE SAME AGAIN AND THE FUN WE USED TO HAVE. WELL I CAN TELL YOU THIS THAT THIS YEAR SURE WENT BY REALLY FAST AND IT IS ALMOST SCARRY HOW FAST IT WENT BY. WE ALL MUST LEARN TO ENJOY THE TIME WE HAVE AND SHARE WITH EACH OTHER BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN ITS YOUR TIME DAD AND THAT CAN REALLY SCARE ME ALOT. BONNIE AND I HAVE BEEN TALKING THATWE MUST SHARE ALL THE HAPPINESS AND LOVE WE CAN AND ENJOY THE TIME I HAVE WITH MY KIDS AND FAMILY AND THAT I STILL LIKE A LITTLE KID I STILL HAVE ALOT TO DO AND SEE YET AND I SURE HOPE I WILL BE GIVEN THE TIME TO DO SO. MY WEIGHT DAD IS STILL DOING GOOD AND EVEN THOUGH I DIDN'T REACH MY GOAL I WILL KEEP GOING I PROMISE YOU THAT AND REALLY WISH YOU COULD OF BEEN PART OF IT WITH ME EACH WEEK BUT I KNOW YOU CAN SEE ME AND I KNOW YOU WOULD BE VERY PROUD AND I SURE WISH I COULD SEE GRANDMA AND WHAT SHE WOULD SAY TO ME BUT I WILL LEAVE IT UP TO YOU DAD TO SHARE WITH EVERYONE MY GOOD NEWS AND GOALS I HAVE WORKED ON VERY HARD. DAD, I SEE MOM SOMETIMES STRUGGLE AND MISS YOU VERY VERY MUCH AND I WOULD ASK YOU DAD TO PLEASE HELP US ALL COPE WITH YOUR PASSING AWAY AND HELP US ALL MAKE IT THROUGH THESE TUFF TIMES AND DAYS WE WILL ALL HAVE AND ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW HELP MOM PLEASE DAD BECAUSE SHE DOSEN'T DESERVE TO STRUGGLE AS I KNOW DAD YOU WOULD NOT HAVE HAPPEN TO MOM IF YOU COULD HELP IT AND I KNOW YOU WILL HELP EACH AND EVERY DAY AND I WISH I COULD TELL MOM FOR YOU BUT I WILL DO ONE BETTER AND LET YOU SHOW THE PATH AND GUIDE MOM AND WHEN I SEE IT I WILL SAY TO MYSELF I KNEW MY DAD WOULD NOT LET ME DOWN. I KNOW DAD YOU HAVE PASSED AWAY BUT I WILL NEVER EVER STOP CALLING YOU MY DAD OR STOP LOVING YOU AND NOBODY ALIVE TODAY COULD OR WOULD EVER TAKE YOUR PLACE AND I'M SO PROUD TO CALL YOU MY DAD AND SOMEDAY I WILL LOOK YOU FACE TO FACE AND CALL YOU DAD AGAIN AND I SURE WILL BE HONORED TO DO SO. DAD, AS WE START THIS NEW YEAR 2012 I DO WANT TO THANK YOU AGAIN FOR BEING MY DAD AND I WILL ALWAYS MISS AND LOVE YOU AS LONG AS I LIVE AND I WILL ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU BEING BY MY SIDE DURING THE GOOD OR BAD TIMES AND I WILL ALWAYS HAVE MY HAND OUT FOR YOU DAD TO HELP AND LEAD ME THE RIGHT WAY. I HOPE AND WISH DAD THAT YOU CAN HELP BONNIE FOR ME AND SHARE WITH NORMAN AND LOLA THAT BONNIE STRUGGLES AT TIMES AND SHE CAN ALSO USE GUIDANCE AND LOVE AND I KNOW BONNIE WOULD LOVE TO TELL HER PARENTS HAPPY NEW YEAR ALSO BUT I KNOW DAD I CAN COUNT ON YOU TO HELP BONNIE AND PLEASE LET BONNIE'S PARENTS KNOW THAT WE ALL MISS AND LOVE THEM VERY MUCH ALSO. WELL DAD WE WILL TALK AGAIN SOON AND THANK YOU AGAIN I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU WHEN TIMES ARE HARD AND EVEN WHEN TIMES ARE GOING GOOD I STILL FEEL YOU AROUND ME AND I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR LOVE AND HELP AND I REALLY MEAN THAT VERY MUCH SO FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. I LOVE AND WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU DAD AND OH YA THANK YOU AGAIN ITS BEEN MY HONOR TO CALL YOU MY DAD. LOVE YOUR SON MARK.

HELLO DAD AND MERRY XMAS TO YOU AND I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD XMAS EVE. WELL THIS IS ABOUT THE TIME DIDN,T SANTA MAKE A SPECIAL STOP AT YOUR HOUSE ITS ABOUT 9:30 PM RIGHT NOW. WELL DAD I REALLY MISS THESE SPECIAL TIMES THAT WE COULD SHARE BECAUSE EACH YEAR I HAD SO MANY IDEAS TO TRY TO SHARE. I ALSO MISS DAD PICKING OUT XMAS CARDS FOR YOU FOR MOM AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH YOU WHILE PICKING OUT THESE CARDS AND I MUST OF DONE OKAY BECAUSE EACH YEAR I WOULD SEE THOSE TEARS COME ROLLING DOWN YOUR CHEEK AND IT JUST MADE ME FEEL YOUR SADNESS AND TRY TO PUT MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WITH YOU AND WHEN I LEFT THOSE NIGHTS I WOULD JUST BREAK DOWN AND CRY AND THINK WHY YOU MUST HAVE TO SUFFER AND HOW CRUEL AND UNFAIR IT WAS FOR YOU AND I JUST COULDN'T AND WILL NOT EVER UNDERSTAND WHY. I HAVE SAID THIS BEFORE DAD SOMEDAY YOU CAN PLEASE MAKE ME UNDERSTAND AND HELP ME UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HAS HAPPENED TO YOU THEN I CAN FINALLY SAY I WILL UNDERSTAND IT BUT UNTIL THEN I WILL ALWAYS WONDER AND THINK WHY. WE SURE SHARED ALOT OF XMAS DAD AND I REALLY THANK YOU FOR IT AND WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER AND CHERRISH THE GOOD TIMES DAD WE SHARED AND ONE DAY I HOPE WE CAN SHARE THIS AGAIN IN TIME. DAD TIME GOES BY SO FAST AND I STILL HAVE ALOT TO TRY TO ACCOMPLISH IN LIFE AND I HOPE AND PRAY I WILL BE GIVEN THAT CHANCE TO DO SO. I'M STILL WORKING ON MY WEIGHT DAD TODAY I WEIGHED IN AT 195.0 POUNDS. MY GOAL BY JAN. 1ST 2012 WAS TO BE AROUND 185 POUNDS AND I KNOW THAT I WILL BE SHORT OF MY GOAL BUT I WILL KEEP WORKING AT IT I PROMISE YOU DAD I WILL AND MAKE IT HAPPEN. I PROMISE YOU DAD I WILL NOT THROW IN THE TOWEL AND GIVE UP IT MEANS ALOT TO ME AND I WILL DO IT YOU WILL SEE. DAD I WILL ALWAYS KEEP YOU IN MY THOUGHTS, ACTIONS AND IN MY HEART THROUGH THE GOOD TIMES OR THE BAD TIMES AND WILL ALWAYS SHARE MY THOUGHTS WITH YOU IF POSSIBLE AND I HOPE YOU WILL ALWAYS HELP GUIDE ME THROUGH GOOD AND BAD TIMES AS LONG AS I LIVE. THE BEST GIFT DAD THAT ANYONE COULD GIVE ME AT XMAS OR THAT SANTA COULD BRING ME IS THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY DAD AND I WILL ALWAYS CHERRISH THAT FOREVER AND NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY CAN EVER TAKE THAT SPECIAL GIFT AWAY FROM ME EVER. I KNOW DAD YOU ARE GONE FROM MY SIGHT BUT YOU WILL NEVER BE GONE FROM MY LIFE AND I'M SO PROUD TO CALL YOU MY FATHER AND I MEAN THAT DAD FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. PLEASE TELL AND GIVE MY LOVE AND BEST WISHES FOR XMAS TO ALL THOSE WE MISS AND LOVE SO MUCH AND I HOPE YOU SHARE AND HAVE A WONDERFUL XMAS AND DAD SHARE WITH EVERYONE ALL THOSE GOOD TIMES WE ALL HAD AS A FAMILY AND TRY TO BRING BACK THOSE HAPPY TIMES WE ALL SHARED AND LETS TRY NOT TO BE SAD BUT BE HAPPY WE HAD THE TIME AS A FAMILY TO BRING BACK THESE GOOD TIMES WITH EACH OTHER. WELL DAD I KNOW ITS GETTING LATE TONIGHT BUT I THINK I HEARD A SOUND ON THE ROOF OF THE HOUSE AND I THINK YOU AND I KNOW WHO IT IS SO I BETTER CALL IT A NIGHT AND GET TO BED OR SANTA WILL NOT LEAVE ANYTHING UNDER THE TREE FOR US AND YES DAD I'M 50 YEARS OLD AND DAD I STILL BELIEVE DAD THAT SANTA WILL COME IF YOU WANT TO BELIEVE. I WILL LET YOU GO NOW DAD AND I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST XMAS YOU CAN HAVE AND SHARE WITH OTHERS AND I HOPE DAD WE CAN SHARE AND FEEL EACH OTHERS THOUGHTS AND MAKE IT THROUGH THESE TUFF TIMES AND HOLIDAYS AND BE STRONG FOR EACH OTHER AND I WILL PRAY FOR YOU DAD AND THINK ABOUT YOU AND I WILL ALWAYS WONDER WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND SOMEDAY I WILL SHAKE YOUR HAND AND SAY I MISSED YOU SO MUCH DAD BUT UNTIL THAT DAY I MUST BE WITH MY FAMILY AND HELP BONNIE,WHITNEY AND TIFFANY AND OH YA WE CAN'T FORGET ABOUT JUNIOR HE IS A BIG PART OF MY LIFE ALSO. WELL DAD I JUST HEARD THAT BIG BANG AGAIN ON THE ROOF I THINK SOMEONE IS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING GET TO BED SANTA IS COMING SO UNTIL WE TALK AGAIN MERRY XMAS AND HO HO HO. LOVE YOU DAD (SANTA)YOUR SON MARK.

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE WE HAVE TALKED BUT AS YOU CAN SEE IT'S BEEN A ROUGH COUPLE OF WEEKS. FIRST IT WAS BONNIE DAD AND NOW IT'S BONNIE AND TIFFANY WE ARE STILL WAITING ANSWERS FOR BOTH OF THEM AND IT'S HARD JUST WAITING AND WAITING. I HOPE DAD THAT BY CHRISTMAS THINGS WILL GET BETTER FOR BONNIE AND TIFFANY. I KNOW DAD THAT YOU WOULDN'T WANT ANYTHING BAD TO COME FROM THIS AND I ALSO KNOW THAT NORMAN AND LOLA WOULDN'T WANT ANY BAD NEWS SO AGAIN DAD IF YOU CAN PULL A RABIT OUT OF A HAT FOR ME I SURE COULD USE SOME HELP AND I REALLY MEAN IT. I SURE DON'T DAD ASK FOR ALOT BUT I SURE COULD USE A BIG HELP ON THIS AND I KNOW YOU WILL NOT LET ME DOWN AND HELP IF POSSIBLE. TIFFANY IS TO YOUNG DAD FOR MEDICAL PROBLEMS AND BONNIE AND I STILL NEED TIME YET AND HAVE THINGS TO SHARE AND DO STILL SO EACH DAY I WAKE I WISH AND HOPE IT WILL GET BETTER FOR US AND I KNOW IT WILL VERY SOON. I HOPE DAD THAT YOU ARE DOING GOOD AND YOU HAVE HAPPINESS BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT AND SOMEDAY WE WILL ALL SHARE THIS HAPPINESS ONCE AGAIN THAT WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM US ALL. WELL DAD WE ARE ALL GETTING READY FOR XMAS AND YOUR VILLAGE SURE LOOKS GOOD AND I HOPE YOU LOOK DOWN AND LIKE IT BECAUSE I DO. I STILL MISS YOU DAD VERY MUCH AND WHEN HOLIDAYS COME I JUST THINK ABOUT HOW IT USE TO BE AND I STILL GET VERY SAD AND THAT DAD WILL NEVER CHANGE AS LONG AS I LIVE AND I MEAN THAT FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART DAD. I REALLY APPRECIATE DAD YOU HELPING AND BEING AROUND ME BECAUSE I SURE DO FEEL YOU ALL AROUND ME AT TIMES AND THAT HELPS ME PULL THROUGH THE ROUGH AND TUFF TIMES IN MY LIFE AND I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR THAT BUT I WILL ANYWAY DAD THANK YOU AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND MISS YOU. DAD, WE WILL TALK AGAIN JUST BEFORE XMAS COMES BUT FOR NOW I WILL LET YOU GO AND MAYBE WHEN WE DO TALK AGAIN I WILL HAVE GOOD NEWS AND THINGS WILL GET BETTER I HOPE. LOVE AND MISS YOU DAD YOUR SON MARK.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING DAD, I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND ENJOY WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. DAD, I WON'T LIE OR HIDE ANYTHING BUT I WILL MISS YOU AND WILL ALWAYS MISS AND LOVE YOU AND I HOPE AS EACH DAY GOES BY I CAN GET STRONGER BUT IT HURTS AND IS VERY HARD STILL FOR ME. I STILL LOOK AT YOUR PICTURE AS I TALK WITH YOU AND I SEE YOU ARE HAPPY AND THAT'S HOW I WANT TO REMEMBER YOU AS LONG AS I LIVE. I HOPE ONE DAY DAD YOU CAN SITE WITH ME AND EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO ME AND MAYBE I WILL UNDERSTAND WHY IT HURTS AND SADNESS HAS TO BE PART OF YOUR LIFE BUT TODAY WE WILL TRY TO BE HAPPY AND PRAY FOR EACH OTHER AND TRY TO SHARE THE EMOTIONS AND TURN THEM INTO HAPPINESS AND REMEMBERING ALL THE THE TIMES WE HAVE SHARED AND BUILD FROM THOSE HAPPY MEMORIES. WELL DAD, HAPPY THANKSGIVING AGAIN AND TELL EVERYONE WITH YOU AND WE WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON. LOVE AND WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU DAD YOUR SON MARK.

HI DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING I HOPE YOU ARE DOING GOOD. WELL DAD BONNIE AND I ARE DOING OKAY WE ARE TRYING TO DEAL WITH NORMANS PASSING AWAY AS YOU CAN SEE. I HOPE DAD YOU AND NORMAN GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER AND SHARE THE LOVE WITH ALL THAT WE ALL MISS SO MUCH. I HOPE DAD THAT YOU AND NORMAN GET ALONG AND SOMEDAY WE ALL MEET AGAIN AS ONE HAPPY FAMILY AND SHARE THE GOOD TIMES WE ALL MISS. WE ARE STRONG DAD AS I CAN THANK YOU FOR THIS AND HOPE YOU WILL STAND BY ME AS YOU HAVE AND HELP BONNIE AND I GET THROUGH THIS AND GUIDE AND LOVE US. BONNIE SURE DOES MISS NORMAN DAD AND I HOPE YOU CAN HELP NORMAN ALSO GET THROUGH THE PAIN AND SUFFERING AND HELP NORMAN ALSO MAYBE UNDERSTAND WHY THIS MUST HAPPEN AND WE ALL MUST PART FOR A PERIOD OF TIME. WELL IT'S ALMOST THANKSGIVING AGAIN AND I DON'T KNOW HOW THE TIME HAS GONE BY SO FAST BUT I GUESS IT HAS. I HOPE YOU WILL HAVE A GOOD AND HAPPY HOLIDAY DAD AND SHARE WITH ALL THOSE WE ALL MISS AND LOVE SO MUCH BECAUSE IT'S SO HARD STILL FOR ALL OF US DAD AND I HOPE YOU WILL GUIDE US ALL AND SHOW US SOME HOW IT WILL BE OKAY. DAD, IF I KNOW YOU ARE OKAY AND ALL THOSE WHO HAVE PASSED AWAY THAT HAVE BEEN PART OF OUR LIVES AND YOU CAN HELP ME UNDERSTAND IT'S OKAY THEN I CAN BUILD FROM THIS AND HELP OTHERS BELIEVE YOU ARE OKAY IT WILL MAKE THINGS ALOT BETTER. I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND DAD WHY THIS HAS HAPPENED AND WILL NEVER BELIEVE ANYONE WHO TRYS TO TELL ME BUT I CAN PUT MY MIND AT EASE THAT YOU DAD WILL HELP GUIDE AND HELP ME FEEL MORE AT EASE IF POSSIBLE. I DO THINK ALOT ABOUT GRANDMA AND GRANDPA ALOT AND IT STILL SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY THAT I COULD TALK AND TOUCH THEM BUT TIME GOES BY SO FAST IT REALLY CAN SCARE YOU IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT LONG ENOUGH. NORMAN WAS A REAL GOOD MAN DAD, AND I HOPE YOU CAN TELL HIM THAT FOR ME AND AS WELL AS MYSELF AND THE FAMILY I WILL MISS HIM VERY MUCH SO AND SOMEDAY I HOPE I CAN STAND NEXT TO HIM AND THANK HIM AS A MAN FOR ALL THE GOOD HE HAS DONE AND IS DOING FOR US DAD BECAUSE HE DIDN'T HAVE TO HELP THE WAY HE HAS AND I MEAN THAT AND I ASK YOU DAD TO PLEASE SHAKE HIS HAND AND GIVE HIM A BIG THANK YOU FOR ME HE IS A MAN WITH MY LOVE AND RESPECT AND I MEAN IT. DAD, I WILL TALK WITH YOU AGAIN AFTER THE HOLIDAY AND SHARE SOME THOUGHTS AND IDEAS WITH YOU SO UNTIL THEN HAVE A REAL NICE THANKSGIVING AND TELL ALL THOSE WE LOVE AND MISS THE SAME AND PLEASE GIVE GRANDMA AND GRANDPA A BIG KISS FROM ME AND TELL THEM I MISS THEM VERY MUCH. I WILL ALSO NEVER FORGET GRANDMA AND GRANDPA SOMMERS I MISS THEM VERY MUCH AND HOPE DAD THAT YOU CAN SHARE MY LOVE AND FEELINGS ALSO WITH THEM AND DAD JUST TAKE EVERYONE IN AS ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY AND KEEP AND SHARE ALL THOSE HAPPY MEMORIES AND PLEASE NEVER FORGET YESTERDAY BECAUSE THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO HOLD AND CHERRISH AND I DO KNOW DAD THAT NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY CAN TAKE THAT FROM YOU AND THAT IS ONE THING I DO KNOW. WELL GOOD NIGHT DAD AND I PROMISE YOU I WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON. LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH DAD ALWAYS. YOUR SON MARK

HELLO DAD, SORRY I HAVE'NT TALKED WITH YOU SOONER BUT AS YOU SEE WE HAVE HAD A TERRIBLE AND UNHAPPY WEEK. DAD, NORMAN HAS PASSED AWAY ON OCT. 26 AND BONNIE IS HAVING A HARD TIME AND WE ARE TRYING TO DEAL WITH THIS AS A FAMILY BUT AS YOU KNOW ITS VERY HARD AND RIGHT NOW NOTHING REALLY MAKES ANY SENSE WHEN IT HAPPENS BUT WE ARE DAY BY DAY TRYING TO DEAL WITH WHAT GOD HAS DEALT US. IT'S VERY HARD DAD AS YOU WATCHED US WITH YOU AND YOU JUST CAN'T HAVE ANY ANSWERS RIGHT NOW. WE ARE STRONG DAD AND WE ARE TRYING TO JUST KEEP OUR HEADS UP AND WORK THROUGHT IT AS BEST AS WE CAN. DAD, I REALLY NEED YOU TO HELP BONNIE AND GUIDE BONNIE THROUGH THIS TRAGIC TIME WE ALL MUST GO THROUGH AND HELP MAKE US ALL UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HAPPENS BECAUSE SOMETIMES IT JUST DOES'NT SEEM FAIR WHEN IT HAPPENS OR WE JUST ARE NOT READY FOR IT TO HAPPEN. I KNOW WE MUST ALL GO THROUGH THIS BUT YOU JUST NEVER SEEM TO BE READY AND IT'S VERY HARD TO DEAL WITH AND ESPECIALLY WITH THE HOLIDAYS COMING UP. DAD, I WISH YOU COULD EXPLAIN THIS TO ME BECAUSE I STILL MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND NOW NORMAN HAS LEFT US AND HE REALLY HELPED ME AS WELL AS MY FAMILY AND THE HARDEST THING DAD WAS I NEVER TOLD HIM THANK YOU AND WE ALL WILL LOVE AND MISS HIM VERY MUCH BUT I DO BELIEVE THE NIGHT HE PASSED AWAY HE COULD HEAR ME TALK TO HIM AND I DID SAY THANK YOU IN MY SPECIAL WAY. I HOPE DAD YOU AND NORMAN HAVE A GOOD TIME AND SHARE MANY MEMORIES WE ALL HAD AND YOU GET TO TALK WITH NORMAN AND LOLA AND SHARE THERE HAPPINESS TOGETHER AGAIN. DAD, NORMAN ALSO STRUGGLED WITH PAIN AND SICKNESS AND IT WAS REALLY TUFF TO SEE HIM HURT SO MUCH BUT NORMAN WAS A TUFF MAN JUST LIKE YOU DAD AND HE ALSO TRIED TO FIGHT AND HOLD ON BUT IT WAS JUST TO MUCH AND HIS TIME CAME JUST LIKE YOU DAD AND IT'S VERY HARD TO DEAL WITH AND I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP AND LOVE DAD EACH AND EVERYDAY AND I THANK AND LOVE YOU DAD VERY MUCH AND HOPE YOU CAN AND WILL HELP AND I KNOW AND FEEL YOU WILL AND FEEL YOUR LOVE AND GUIDANCE AROUND ME EACH DAY OF MY LIFE AND ONE DAY DAD WILL COME TO YOU AND SAY THANK YOU AND TELL YOU HOW MUCH I MISS AND LOVED YOU. I WAITED UNTIL TONIGHT TO TALK WITH YOU BECAUSE TONIGHT XMAS MUSIC STARTED ON THE CABLE STATION AND IT PLAYS THROUGH THE FIRST WEEK OF JAN. 2012 AND THAT RELAXES ME AND HELPS ME THROUGH THIS TUFF TIME. I WISH SO MUCH DAD I COULD PICK UP THE PHONE AND I COULD CALL YOU BECAUSE I REALLY NEED A FRIEND THAT I CAN TALK WITH AND I KNOW YOU WOULD LISTEN AND YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND ME. I WISH DAD YOU WOULD TELL ME THIS IS ALL JUST A BAD DREAM BECAUSE IF IT IS I WISH YOU WOULD WAKE ME UP AND START OVER AGAIN BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE HOW IT ALWAYS ENDS UP AND MAKES YOU FEEL. WELL DAD I'M GETTING REALLY TIRED AND SAD AND I'M GOING TO JUST TRY TO RELAX FOR A FEW MINUTES BEFORE GOING TO BED I GET UPSET AND MY HEART STARTS GOING FAST AND THAT WORRIES BONNIE AND RIGHT NOW BONNIE HAS ENOUGH TO WORRY AND DEAL WITH I MUST STAY STRONG AND HELP BONNIE EACH DAY AND GIVE MY LOVE. I MUST STAY STRONG FOR BONNIE AND WHEN SHE STUMBLES AND FALLS I MUST HELP PICK BONNIE UP. WELL DAD I WILL TALK TO YOU AGAIN REAL SOON AND I REALLY HOPE IT'S BETTER NEWS AND WE CAN BE HAPPY AND MAYBE EVEN SHARE A LAUGH. I PROMISE YOU DAD I WILL REALLY TRY TO BE A STRONG PERSON AND SOMEDAY YOU WILL BE PROUD OF ME I PROMISE YOU THAT. I WILL TALK SOON DAD AND REMEMBER I WILL ALWAYS MISS AND LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND I PROMISE YOU DAD I WILL NEVER EVER FORGET YOU AS LONG AS I LIVE. LOVE YOU ALWAYS YOUR SON MARK

HELLO DAD , HOW IS IT GOING TONIGHT. I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD EVEN THOUGH BONNIE HAS A LONG STRUGGLE WITH NORMAN SHE IS TRYING SO HARD TO HELP WITH HER DAD AND I HOPE SHE KEEPS FINDING THE STRENGTH EACH DAY TO KEEP GOING BECAUSE SHE HAS TO DO IT ALL ALONE AND THAT MAKES IT REALLY TUFF. WELL IT WAS CHAD'S BIRTHDAY TODAY AS YOU COULD SEE DAD AND IT SURE WOULD OF BEEN SO NICE TO HAVE YOU JOIN US TODAY FOR LUNCH AS WE SHARED WITH CHAD TODAY. I KNOW DAD YOU WISH ALSO YOU COULD OF BEEN AND I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE YOU SAD BUT WE DO ALL MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND ALWAYS THINK AND I WILL ALWAYS SAY TO MYSELF WHAT IF THINGS COULD OF BEEN DIFFERENT. I KNOW YOU MUST ALSO ASK THE SAME QUESTION AT TIMES WHY ME I STILL DON'T THINK IT WAS FAIR TO END YOUR LIFE SO SOON. I WILL ALWAYS NOT BELIEVE IN MY MIND DAD THAT YOU ARE GONE AND IT WAS ONLY A BAD DREAM AND I HOPE DAD THAT SOMEDAY YOU WILL BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN WHY AND MAKE ME UNDERSTAND WHEN I LEAVE MY LOVED ONES AND HELP ME WITH THE PAIN THAT SEEMS TO NEVER LEAVE AND ALSO LET ME HELP THOSE WHO HAVE TO TRY AND SUFFER AND LIVE WITH THE EMPTY FEELING AND HELP THEM MAKE IT EASIER AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHY THIS HAPPENS ONE DAY YOU ARE SO HAPPY IN LIFE AND THE NEXT DAY YOU ARE SO SAD AND IT HURTS SO BAD. I HAVE SAID THIS BEFORE DAD THAT I'M NOT READY YET BUT I WILL LOOK FORWARD TO THAT DAY YOU AND I CAN TALK AGAIN. I WILL ALWAYS SEE YOUR FACE DAD EITHER IN MY MIND OR IN PICTURES BUT MOST OF ALL I PROMISE YOU THAT I WILL NEVER FORGET YESTERDAY AND ALL THOSE HAPPY TIMES AND MEMORIES GOOD OR BAD I WILL NEVER LET THAT GO AND I PROMISE YOU THAT AS LONG AS I LIVE. I THINK THAT HAVING MEMORIES DAD ARE SO IMPORTANT AND AS YOU GROW AND GET OLDER THAT THIS IS THE BEST GIFT ANYONE COULD EVER GIVE YOU AND IT'S UP TO ALL OF US TO KEEP AND CHERRISH IN EACH OF OUR OWN WAYS BUT NEVER LET THEM GO BECAUSE ONE DAY WE WILL GO BACK IN TIME AND NEED THESE MEMORIES AND FEELINGS WE ALL ONCE SHARED AND IN TIME IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL SO GOOD AND PROUD YOU ARE APART OF THIS AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS WE CAN SHARE WITH OTHERS AND TRY TO HELP EACH OTHER WHEN TIMES GET HARD AND BUILD ON GOOD TIMES AND I DO BELIEVE IT CAN AND WILL HELP IN TIME. WELL DAD NEXT TIME WE TALK I WILL SHARE WITH YOU MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ON TOPICS I HAVE AND HOPE YOU WILL HELP ME WORK THROUGH THEM BUT I'M NOT READY TONIGHT TO DO THAT JUST YET I NEED SOMETIME AND COLLECT MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. I WOULD LIKE TO START WITH WHEN I WAS BORN AND GO THROUGH MY 50 YEARS OF LIFE AND FEELINGS WITH YOU DAD AND HOPE THAT I CAN SHARE IT WITH YOU AND WE CAN UNDERSTATND AND YOU CAN AND WILL HELP ME THROUGH MY TUFF TIMES I MAY HAVE. DAD, IT'S MONDAY NIGHT AND IT'S MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL SO LETS WATCH IT AND BE HAPPY TONIGHT AND I WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON TO YOU. LOVE AND MISS YOU DAD AND WILL ALWAYS HOLD YOU INTO MY HEART AND IN EVERYTHING I DO EACH AND EVERY DAY. LOVE YOUR SON MARK.

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING I'M DOING OKAY. I'M STILL WORKING ON MY WEIGHT AS YOU SEE I'M AT TODAY 199.2 BUT I'M STILL TRYING VERY HARD. MY DOCTOR TELLS ME WHEN YOU GET TO A CERTAIN LEVEL WITH YOUR WEIGHT IT GETS TUFFER TO LOOSE BUT I'M WORKING ON IT. I STILL WILL ACHIVE MY GOAL IF I CAN HELP IT. WELL I JUST THOUGHT I WOULD CHECK IN AND SEE HOW THINGS ARE GOING WITH YOU DAD. I'M JUST GETTING READY TO GO ON MY 1.5 MILE WALK NOW WHILE THE WEATHER LOOKS LIKE IT'S GETTING BETTER SO GLADE NO MORE RAIN AT LEAST FOR NOW I HOPE AND THEN THE SNOW WILL HIT NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT YET. WELL DAD I WILL TALK AGAIN AND SEE HOW THINGS ARE GOING SO FOR NOW I WILL LET YOU GO AND HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING I'M DOING OKAY. I'M STILL WORKING ON MY WEIGHT AS YOU CAN SEE. I'M REALLY TRYING TO ACHIEVE MY GOAL AND THAT WAS TO BE AROUND 185.0 POUNDS BY JAN. 1ST 2012. I WILL SAY DAD THAT IT REALLY GETS HARDER AND HARDER BUT I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND TO DO IT AND I WILL GIVE IT MY BEST TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. WELL AS YOU SAW TIFFANY HAS LEFT AND MADE IT BACK TO SPOKANE TO START SCHOOL ON WENESDAY AND GET BACK AT IT. I SURE AM VERY HAPPY TO SEE HER COME HOME BUT AS YOU CAN SEE I GET VERY SAD TO SEE TIFFANY LEAVE BUT AS WE HAVE SAID BEFORE SHE NEEDS TO ACHIEVE HER GOALS AND I'M SO PROUD OF TIFFANY AND HOPE SHE BECOMES THE BEST. I STILL HOPE DAD THAT YOU CAN AND WILL HELP WATCH OVER TIFFANY AND HELP GUIDE HER TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES IT'S VERY HARD FOR ME WHEN I CAN'T HELP BEING APART BUT I KNOW SHE IS A VERY SMART YOUNG LADY NOW AND HAVE CONFIDENCE SHE WILL GO FORWARD AND MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES AND KNOWING YOU DAD WILL WATCH OVER AND HELP PROTECT TIFFANY I CAN SLEEP AND REST AT NIGHT KNOWING THINGS ARE GOING TO BE OKAY AND NOT WORRY SO MUCH. I'T SURE MEANS ALOT TO ME DAD KNOWING YOU CAN AND WILL HELP AND I REALLY APPRECIATE EVERYTHING YOU CAN AND HAVE DONE AND I MEAN THAT SO MUCH. I DON'T CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK DAD ALL I CARE IS THAT TIFFANY IS DOING VERY WELL IN SCHOOL AND HAS A 3.857 POINT AVERAGE AND EVEN THOUGH NOBODY REALLY ASKS I CARE AND I KNOW THAT YOU WOULD CARE DAD AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME. WELL DAD BONNIE SURE HAS ALOT ON HER PLATE WITH HELPING HER DAD WHO AS YOU SEE IS STRUGGLING AND BONNIE IS SURE LEARNING VERY FAST ON HOW TO HANDLE SITUATIONS AND I THINK IS DOING VERY WELL AND I'M PROUD OF BONNIE. I'M ALSO HELPING DAD WHEN I'M NEEDED AND PUT MY IMPUT IN FROM OUR EXPERIENCE OF HELPING YOU DAD. I REALLY FEEL GOOD WHEN I CAN HELP AND SEE THAT THINGS YOU APPLY WILL HELP BECAUSE IT HELPED FOR YOU AND THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. I DO FEEL DAD THAT WHEN I'M MISSING YOU AND GET REALLY SAD THAT I DO FEEL YOUR PRESCENCE AND I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT YOU CAN PICK ME UP AND HELP ME FEEL BETTER BECAUSE THAT REALLY HELPS ME AS YOU CAN SEE EACH TIME I GET DOWN AND FEEL LOST AND I DO DAD FEEL YOU PICKING ME UP JUST LIKE A LITTLE BABY AND THAT REALLY HELPS ME AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT AND I WISH I COULD HELP YOU AGAIN LIKE I DID BUT I KNOW THAT NOW ALL I CAN DO IS PRAY AND LOVE YOU AND I THINK THAT'S ALL YOU WOULD ASK FOR RIGHT KNOW. I WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU DAD AND STILL ASK WHY BUT I NEVER WILL GET THE RIGHT ANSWER UNTIL ONE DAY AND WE MEET AGAIN AND I WILL BE HONORED DAD FOR THAT DAY BUT I'M STILL TRYING TO REACH MY GOALS AND HAVE ALOT I WOULD LIKE TO ACCOMPLISH YET AND I HOPE I STILL WILL BE GIVEN THE CHANCE TO DO SO BUT THEN ONE DAY I WILL BE READY TO SITE WITH YOU DAD AND ASK ALL MY QUESTIONS TO YOU AND I WILL LOOK FORWARD TO THAT. I DO DAD HAVE ALOT TO STILL DO AND SEE IN LIFE AND HOPE WITH WORKING ON MY HEALTH AND WEIGHT I WILL BE GIVEN THAT TIME TO DO SO BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE A VERY BIG GIFT FOR ME AND WOULD CHERRISH IT FOREVER. WELL DAD IT'S ABOUT THAT TIME OF NIGHT AGAIN IT'S MEDICINE TIME AND RELAX BEFORE I CALL IT FOR THE NIGHT BUT I PROMISE YOU AND I WILL SHARE MY THOUGHTS AND IDEAS AGAIN VERY SOON AND UNTIL THEN DAD I MISS AND LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND IT STILLS FEELS JUST LIKE YESTERDAY TO ME AND EACH TIME I SEE YOUR PICTURE OR SEE YOU IN MY MIND I STILL THINK AND BELIEVE THAT IT WAS A BAD DREAM AND I'M WAITING TO WAKE UP AND SEE YOU AGAIN BUT I REALIZE WHAT HAS HAPPENED AND ALL I CAN DO IS ASK FOR YOU TO STAY CLOSE AND HELP LOVE AND GUIDE ME EACH AND EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE AND EVEN THOUGH I MAY NOT LIKE THE ANSWER OR THE RESULT I WILL LISTEN AND I PROMISE YOU THAT. WELL GOODNIGHT DAD AND HOPE YOU GET A GOOD NIGHTS REST AND WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON AND OH YA DAD PLEASE GIVE MY LOVE TO ALL WE HAVE LOST AND MISS VERY MUCH. LOVE YOU DAD YOUR SON MARK.

HI DAD, HOW ARE YOU TONIGHT. I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD DAD. I'M STILL NOT FELLING VERY WELL AND WORRY AGAIN ABOUT MY HEART BUT IT WILL COME OUT OF IT AGAIN AT LEAST I HOPE IT WILL. THE GOOD NEWS IS DAD THAT I MADE MY GOAL AND THAT WAS I'M AT 200.8 POUNDS AND MY GOAL WAS 200.0 POUNDS AND EVEN THOUGH I'M A LITTLE OFF I'M STILL HAPPY I MADE IT. WELL DAD YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO HEAR MY NEXT GOAL AND THAT IS BY JANUARY 1ST 2012 I WOULD LIKE TO BE AT 185.0 POUNDS AND THEN I WILL LEVEL OUT AROUND THAT NUMBER AND WORK ON KEEPING THAT MY MAGIC WEIGHT AND HOPE THAT I WILL REALLY START FEELING BETTER AS I GO WITH MY NEW GOAL. I DO FEEL BETTER DAD THAT I HAVE LOST 62.7 POUNDS AND I'M VERY HAPPY FOR WHAT I HAVE ACHIEVED BUT I MUST BUCKLE DOWN AND NOW ATTACK MY NEXT GOAL AND I HOPE IT GOES GOOD FOR ME AND IT WORKS OUT THE WAY I HAVE BEEN GOING THUS FAR. WELL ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT NOW DAD I HOPE IT'S NOT TO LATE AND I WAS ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH THIS IN A GOOD TIME AND I CAN BENIFIT FROM IT AND IT WILL PAY OFF FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AND I CAN ENJOY THE TIME THAT IS LEFT FOR ME. DAD ALL I CAN SAY IS WE DID IT AND I'M REALLY HAPPY AND READY TO TAKE ON THE NEXT GOAL AND I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL I CAN HOLD MY HEAD UP HIGH AND SAY I DID IT AND I KNOW DAD THAT THE DAY WILL COME VERY SOON. WELL DAD I WILL END THIS ON THIS GOOD NOTE IN MY LIFE AND THANK YOU FOR ANY HELP OR INPUT YOU GAVE ME BECAUSE I NEED YOUR HELP AND GUIDANCE TO MAKE THIS ALL WORK AND I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR LOVE AND HELP YOU SURROUND ME WITH DAD AND I REALLY MEAN IT. DAD WE WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON AND EVEN THOUGH IT WAS ALL ABOUT ME TONIGHT I REALLY HOPE EVERYTHING IS GOING GOOD FOR YOU AND YOU ARE ABLE TO ACHIEVE WHAT YOUR GOALS ARE IN YOUR NEW LIFE AND I WILL REALLY TRY HARDER AT NIGHT TO SAY PRAYERS FOR YOU AND AS I HAVE TOLD YOU MANY TIMES I MISS AND WILL ALWAYS BE MY HONOR TO CALL AND TELL OTHERS YOU ARE STILL AND ALWAYS WILL BE MY DAD. I SOMETIMES TRY TO TELL MYSELF DAD THAT YOU HAVE GONE ON A LONG VACATION AND SOMEDAY WE WILL MEET AND TALK ABOUT ALL THIS AND SHARE THE HAPPINESS AND JOY WE ONCE HAD BUT ONETHING IS FOR SURE WE WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT WE BUILT AND HAD AS A FAMILY BECAUSE IT'S ALL PRICELESS TO ME AND TO SHARE WITH OTHERS AND MY FAMILY AS WE GROW. WELL DAD I WILL SAY GOODNIGHT AND LET'S GO TO BED ON A HAPPY NOTE AND PLEASE DAD SHARE WITH OTHERS MY GOOD NEWS I HAVE FOR TODAY ESPECIALLY GRANDMA AND GRANDPA SUCH BECAUSE I KNOW GRANDMA WAS ALWAYS WORRIED ABOUT MY WEIGHT AND I WISH I WOULD OF STARTED IT EARLIER AND HAD MORE TIME BUT I PROMISE I WILL MAKE THE BEST OF IT I PROMISE YOU THAT. LOVE YOU DAD AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND REMEMBER DAD THAT NO MATTER WHAT I DO IN LIFE IF I COULD I WOULD STILL BE AT YOUR SIDE HELPING YOU EACH AND EVERYDAY JUST LIKE I DID. LOVE YOUR SON MARK.

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING JUST STOPPED TONIGHT TO SAY HELLO AND I HOPE EVERYTHING IS GOOD. I'M GOING TO BED EARLY DAD NOT FEELING VERY WELL TONIGHT SO I WILL TALK TO YOU SOON JUST WANTED TO CHECK IN AND SAY HI. LOVE ALWAYS DAD YOUR SON MARK.

HI DAD, THOUGHT I WOULD TAKE A MINUTE AND SAY HI AND SEE HOW YOU ARE DOING. I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD TODAY I'M GETTING CLOSER WITH MY WEIGHT TODAY I WEIGHED IN AT 203.2 POUNDS AND I'M NOT SURE I CAN GET TO MY GOAL OF 200.0 POUNDS BY SEPT. 1ST BUT I'M GOING TO REALLY TRY DAD BECAUSE THAT WAS MY GOAL AND I WILL TRY HARD TO ACHIVE IT IF POSSIBLE. I DO WALK DAD ABOUT 1-2 MILES PER DAY AND I THINK IT'S STARTING TO PAY OFF. I CAN REALLY SOMEDAYS TELL WHEN I GET DONE I FEEL GOOD AND IT REALLY HELPS TO WALK AND BREATH THE AIR. I KNOW DAD AND I WISH I WOULD OF STARTED SOONER WHEN I SHOULD OF BUT OF COURSE I THOUGHT I KNEW BEST AND I WISH NOW I COULD BRING BACK THAT TIME BUT I CAN'T AS YOU KNOW DAD SO I WILL MAKE THE BEST OF IT AND KEEP GOING FORWARD AND HOPE THAT IT'S NOT TO LATE FOR ME AND KEEP MY HEAD UP BECAUSE I MUST DO IT AND I DON'T REALLY HAVE TO MANY OPTIONS LEFT BUT FOR IT TO WORK FOR ME AND I PROMISE DAD THAT I WILL FIGHT TO THE END I PROMISE YOU THAT DAD. WELL DAD FOR NOW I WILL LET YOU GO AND TALK WHEN I GET CLOSER TO SEPT. 1ST AND LET YOU KNOW MY NEXT PLAN AND WHAT I WILL DO TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. WE WILL TALK REAL SOON DAD I PROMISE LOVE YOUR SON MARK.

HELLO DAD, THOUGHT I WOULD JUST STOP AND SAY HI AND HOPE EVERYTHING IS GOING GOOD FOR YOU. I'M OKAY AS YOU SAW DAD I HAD A LITTLE SCARE WITH MY BLOOD PRESSURE I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT IT JUST WENT OUT OF CONTROL AND I WAS REALLY WORRIED ON SUNDAY AND MONDAY AND I THINK BONNIE WAS WORRIED ALSO BUT SO FAR SO GOOD EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE BACK TO NORMAL AGAIN. DAD, MY HEART WAS POUNDING THROUGH MY HEAD AND LIPS AND I NEVER HAD THAT EVER HAPPEN BEFORE AND I WAS REALLY SCARED AS YOU COULD SEE BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS I'M FEELING BETTER AND I'M NOW DOWN TO 204.6 POUNDS AND REMEMBER MY GOAL WAS 200 POUNDS BY 9/1 AND I'M REALLY TRYING HARD AT IT. I HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THESE PROBLEMS BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU ASK IS IT REALLY WORTH IT BUT THEN YOU SAY YES IT WAS AND IT DOES GET BETTER IN THE END. WELL DAD, I WILL MAKE THIS SHORT TONIGHT AND BE TALKING TO YOU REAL SOON AND OH YA I DID DECIDE TO KEEP THIS BOOK GOING UNTIL 8/15/2012 AND I HOPE IT WILL HELP OTHERS AS WELL AS MYSELF BY SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS AND LOVE FOR YOU DAD AS WELL AS OTHERS AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP IN THE END AND I HOPE IT CAN BE SHARED WITH OTHERS AND TALK ABOUT IT WITH OTHERS AND I DO HOPE THAT IN TIME PEOPLE WILL RESPOND BACK AND SHARE THOUGHTS AND IDEAS AS WE GO. IT'S SOMETIMES HARD TO TRY TO EXPRESS YOUR IDEAS AND THOUGHTS AND SOMETIMES YOU ARE LOST FOR WORDS BUT I FEEL THAT WHEN PEOPLE CAN READ AND SHARE WITH OTHERS IT REALLY HELPS OPEN UP AND SAY THINGS HOW YOU REALLY FEEL AND YOU WILL FIND OUT THAT IN THE END THAT SOMEONE ELSE WILL FEEL OR WANT TO SAY IT THE SAME WAY AND THAT'S WHY I FEEL THIS REALLY HELPS BRING OUT THE BEST IN EVERYONE IF YOU ARE WIILING TO ALLOW IT AND WANT TO SHARE YOUR FEELINGS WITH OTHERS BECAUSE IT REALLY DOES HELP ME AT TIMES. THIS IS A STORY FOR ME DAD THAT I JUST WILL NOT LET END BUT SOMEDAY I REALIZE I MUST PUT IT TO REST BUT NOT FOR AWHILE YOU AND I DAD WILL KNOW WHEN IT'S TIME BUT NOT TODAY. UNTIL WE TALK AGAIN DAD TAKE IT EASY AND I WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND ALWAYS WISH AND HOPE THE BEST FOR YOU. I LOVE AND WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU DAD. LOVE YOUR SON MARK.

HI DAD, THOUGHT TONIGHT WE COULD TALK AND I COULD SHARE THINGS WITH YOU. WELL I'M AT 208 LBS. AND STILL TRYING VERY HARD TO ACHIEVE MY GOAL. I WILL SAY DAD THAT AT TIMES IT DOES GET VERY HARD AND YOU SAY TO YOURSELF IS IT REALLY WORTH IT BUT AS WE KNOW IT IS WORTH IT AND IT DOES AND WILL GET BETTER WE MUST JUST KEEP TRYING HARDER AND IN THE END IT WILL PAY OFF. WELL DAD LAST NIGHT I WAS LISTENING TO MY MUSIC AND I HEARD A SONG THAT HAD SO MUCH MEANING FOR YOU DAD THAT I JUST CRIED LIKE A BABY AND ASKED MYSELF AGAIN AND AGAIN WHY WAS YOUR TIME NOW AND JUST COULDN'T HAVE MORE TIME LIKE IT SEEMS OTHERS GET BUT YOU HAD SUFFERED SO MUCH THAT IT JUST WASN'T FAIR AND I WILL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT ANYONE WILL EVER SAY BECAUSE YOU AND I KNOW I'M RIGHT DAD. THE SONG THAT I WAS LISTENING TO WAS BY LUTHER VANDROSS AND IT WAS CALLED " THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM " AND I'M SAYING THIS TO YOU DAD NOT TO MAKE FUN OF YOU BUT IF YOU LISTEN TO THE WORDS YOU TRIED SO HARD AND IT JUST DIDN'T FALL IN PLACE FOR YOU AND I WISH IT DID. IF YOU DAD COULD PLAY A SONG FOR MOM TO HEAR FROM YOU I THINK YOU WOULD LIKE THE ONE BY CHARLIE RICH " ON MY KNEES " AND AGAIN IF YOU LISTEN TO THE WORDS IT DOES GIVE YOU MEANING I SAY. THE OTHER SONG I LIKE FOR YOU DAD IS BY NEIL DIAMOND " THE STORY OF MY LIFE AND I LIKE THIS ONE ALSO AND I HOPE SOMEDAY YOU CAN TELL ME THAT YOU AGREE WITH MY CHOICES . I SOMETIMES LIKE TO LISTEN TO MUSIC AND SHUT MY EYES AND DAD I WILL TELL YOU IT CAN REALLY MAKE YOUR MIND TRAVEL BECAUSE IT DOES FOR ME AND BETWEEN YOU AND I WOULD NEVER SHARE THIS WITH ANYONE BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY THINK ANYONE WOULD UNDERSTAND THE WAY I DO. I THINK IN TIME DAD THAT WE ALL NEED TO HOLD ONTO THINGS IN LIFE AND IF IT HELPS YOU THROUGH YOUR TUFF TIMES AND HELPS YOU GET THROUGH YOUR PAIN THAN YOU SHOULD BELIEVE IN WHAT HELPS YOU BECAUSE I DO BELIEVE IT WILL NEVER TAKE THE HURT AND PAIN AWAY BUT HELPS THROUGH YOUR TIMES. I MAY NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY DAD AND I WILL NEVER EXCEPT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU BUT I WILL BELIEVE IN MY OWN WAY WHAT CAN HELP ME WHEN I GET DOWN LOW AND SAD. DAD, ONEDAY SOMEONE MIGHT ASK ME TO TALK ABOUT WHY AND WHAT I DO TO HELP ME AND MAYBE THAT MIGHT HELP SOMEONE ALSO THROUGH HARD TIMES AND SADDNESS BUT UNTIL SOMEONE CAN SHARE AND SHOW ME BETTER I WILL CONTINUE BELIEVING IN WHAT I THINK AND HOW I FEEL EACH DAY AS I GO FORWARD IN LIFE. DAD, I WILL ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU TO HELP AND TRY TO HELP ME REALIZE WHY AND WHAT HAPPENED AND IN THE END IT'S BETTER FOR YOU AND SOMEDAY I CAN TRY TO EXCEPT IT BETTER THAN I DO TODAY BECAUSE TODAY IS NO BETTER THAN THAT HORRIBLE DAY OF JULY 12, 2010. I WISH THAT I COULD SEE YOU AGAIN DAD AND SEE YOU SMILE AND SAY IT'S OKAY AND DON'T BE AFFRAID OR WORRIED BECAUSE THAT WOULD HELP ALL OF US UNDERSTAND HOW WE FEEL AND MAKE US HAPPIER FOR YOU AND UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR PAIN AND SUFFERING IS OVER AND THAT YOU ARE HAPPY NOT TO BE AWAY FROM YOUR FAMILY BUT HAPPY WITH YOUR NEW LIFE AND IT'S WORHTH IT AND DON'T BE SCARED AT ALL. I DO HOPE THAT AS I WRITE THIS TO YOU DAD THAT YOU ARE LOOKING DOWN LAUGHING AND SAYING PLEASE DON'T WORRY IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER BECAUSE THAT WILL MAKE ME AS WELL AS OTHERS SO HAPPY TO HEAR. I ALSO WISH IN TIME YOU CAN HELP US ALL UNDERSTAND AND NOT BE AFFRAID BECAUSE I'M NOT AFFRAID TO SAY THAT I'M AFFRAID AND SAD AND I'M COUNTING ON YOU IN TIME THINGS DO AND WILL GET BETTER FOR ALL OF US. I'M LEARNING MORE AND MORE EACH DAY THAT PRAYING IS VERY POWERFULL AND I HOPE IT CAN HELP AND GUIDE ME TO KEEP GOING FORWARD AND LEARN EACH DAY WHAT IS THE RIGHT WAY TO FOLLOW AND SHOW AND SHARE WITH OTHERS. WELL DAD TONIGHT I HAVE GOT ALOT OUT IN THE OPEN AND SHOULD JUST BUILD ON MY FEELINGS AND WHAT I BELIEVE IN AND TRY EACH DAY TO BE OPEN AND HOPE YOU WILL HELP SHOW YOUR LOVE AND GUIDE ME STEAR ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION BECAUSE I NEED YOUR HELP AND LOVE TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN IN MY LIFE AND AS I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE I KNOW YOU WILL HELP ME BECAUSE AT TIMES I HAVE FELT YOUR PRESENCE AND I'M NOT AFFRAID WHEN I FEEL THIS IT CAN ONLY HELP ME BUILD AND MAKE ME STRONGER AS A PERSON AND MY FAITH. I THINK DAD IT WON'T BE EASY BY ANY MEANS BUT IN TIME I CAN AND WILL UNDERSTAND AND MAYBE EXCEPT WHY AND WHAT HAPPENED BUT UNTIL THEN IT WILL BE A STRUGGLE FOR ME BUT I WILL WORK IN BECOMING BETTER AND OPEN UP MY MIND TO TRYING TO UNDERSTAND BUT I CAN'T PROMISE ANYTHING AND IT WILL NOT HAPPEN OVER NIGHT THAT'S FOR SURE. WELL TONIGHT WE WILL GO TO BED WITH MANY THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS AND I HOPE AS THE THE DAYS GO BY I CAN AND WILL GET STRONGER AND I HOPE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND AND RESPECT MY FEELINGS DAD AND I KNOW YOU WILL THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT EASY FOR ME TO TALK WITH YOU AND THAT YOU DO UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL AND THAT IF AND WHEN YOU CAN YOU WILL HELP ME AND I ALWAYS CAN COUNT ON YOU DAD AND I MEAN THAT VERY MUCH SO. DAD, I DON'T CARE THE TIME OR PLACE OR SITUATION I WILL ALWAYS TAKE THE TIME AND ASK YOU FOR YOUR HELP AND I KNOW YOU WILL HELP WHEN YOU CAN AND THAT IS SOMETHING I WILL NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT EVER.WELL I GUESS IT'S TIME FOR BED DAD IT'S 11:45 P.M. AND YOU KNOW MORNING COMES VERY QUICK SO WE WILL TALK AGAIN AND SHARE THOUGHTS AND TRY TO HELP UNDERSTAND THE MANY THINGS THAT WILL AND CAN HAPPEN IN LIFE. LIFE IS NOT EASY DAD AS WE ALL WILL FIND OUT IN TIME AND HOPE THAT AS PROBLEMS ARISE WE WILL BE STRONG ENOUGH TO HANDLE AND DEAL WITH THEM AND HELP OTHERS IF NEED BE BECAUSE THAT IS SO IMPORTANT AS TIME GOES BY. I'M GOING TO TRY TO GET A GOOD NITES REST AND I HOPE YOU DO THE SAME DAD AND I PROMISE WE WILL TALK AGAIN AND SHARE THOUGHTS VERY SOON. I MISS YOU DAD AND AS I STILL GO TO BED AT NIGHT I SAY TO MYSELF THIS IS JUST A BAD DREAM AND WHEN I WAKE UP IT WILL BE OVER BUT EACH DAY IT'S STILL THE SAME I'M SAD AND YOU ARE GONE BUT I CAN'T CHANGE IT BUT IF I COULD I WOULD DAD AND YOU KNOW I WOULD IF I COULD BUT I CAN'T AND I MUST EXCEPT IT AND KEEP GOING FORWARD AND I PROMISE DAD THAT I WILL TRY BECAUSE I KNOW THAT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY AND NOT ALWAYS BE SAD AND AFFRAID AND I DO THINK IN TIME I WILL AND CAN BE STRONGER BECAUSE YOU ARE MY DAD AND YOU ARE A STRONG PERSON AND HOPE TO FOLLOW IN YOUR FOOTSTEPS. I WANT YOU TO PROUD OF ME DAD AS MUCH AS I.M PROUD OF YOU AND TO CALL YOU MY DAD AND I KNOW BECAUSE AS I'M WRITTING THIS I DO FEEL YOU AROUND ME AND THAT IS SO SPECIAL FOR ME AND SOMEDAY CAN SHARE THESE FEELINGS WITH OTHERS. GOODNIGHT DAD AND I WILL TALK AGAIN VERY SOON LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH LOVE YOUR SON MARK.

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU TONIGHT THE WEEKEND WENT BUY SO FAST BEFORE YOU REALIZE IT IT'S OVER. THAT'S ALWAYS HOW IT SEEMS TO GO SO FAST WOULDN'T YOU SAY DAD THAT IT GOES BY SO FAST. TONIGHT WE ARE LOOKING FOR SOME BOOKS ONLINE FOR TIFFANY SO WE WILL TALK AGAIN ON TUESDAY BUT I DID WANT TO SAY HELLO TONIGHT AND TELL YOU I DIDN'T FORGET YOU AT ALL WE JUST GET SO MUCH GOING ON AT TIMES YOU JUST CAN'T SOMETIMES WAIT TILL THE NIGHT COMES TO AN END. I WILL TALK AGAIN BUT UNTIL THEN MISS AND LOVE YOU DAD AND HOPE EVERYTHING IS GOOD WITH YOU. THE OTHER THING THAT COMES FAST EACH DAY IS IT'S MEDICINE TIME ALSO DAD. I JUST HATE SOMETIMES TO HAVE TO TAKE THEM BUT IF I DON'T I CAUSE MORE PROBLEMS SO I GUESS I WILL STOP NOW AND TAKE THEM. WELL GOODNIGHT DAD AND WE WILL TALK AGAIN. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HI DAD, TONIGHT I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU AND THOUGHT I WOULD SAY HELLO AND ASK HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT. WHEN I SEE YOUR PICTURE EACH TIME SO MANY THINGS RUN THROUGH MY MIND AND IT'S STILL VERY HARD FOR ME TO EXCEPT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU DAD AND I JUST DON'T KNOW SOMETIMES HOW TO DEAL WITH IT BUT I TRY AS MUCH AS I CAN BUT IT'S REALLY HARD FOR ME. TONIGHT DAD I'M JUST SAD AND TALKING LIKE THIS SOMETIMES HELPS ME THROUGH ANOTHER DAY OR NIGHT. I HOPE THAT SOMEDAY I WILL BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH YOUR DEATH BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET OR EXCEPT WHAT HAPPENED BUT ALL I CAN ASK IS TO DEAL WITH IT AND TALK ABOUT IT. I WILL ALWAYS HAVE MY MEMORIES AND PICTURES,THOUGHTS AND THE MOVIE WE MADE AND SOMEDAY THIS BOOK WILL MAYBE GIVE ME THE HOPE AND STRENGTH AND LOVE THAT I CAN HOLD AND BUILD WITH EACH AND EVERY DAY. I ALSO HOPE DAD THAT SOMEONE ELSE WHO GETS TO READ THIS BOOK WILL ALSO LEARN AND CHERRISH SOME OF THESE THOUGHTS AND IDEAS WE CAN BUILD WITH AND SHARE WITH EACH OTHER THE PAIN ONE MIGHT HAVE. I REALLY MISS DAD THAT WHEN I WOULD PICK HOLIDAY OR SPECIAL OCCASION CARDS OUT FOR YOU IT WAS WITH MY THOUGHTS FOR YOU WITH YOUR LOVE TO SOMEONE SPECIAL AND I MISS THAT. I TRIED VERY HARD DAD TO PUT MYSELF IN YOUR MIND AS I PICKED THEM FOR YOU AND EACH TIME I WATCHED YOU READ THEM AND SIGN THEM,I SAW YOUR EMOTION AND HOW YOUR FEELINGS WOULD SHOW. DAD, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS VERY HARD TO WATCH YOU STRUGGLE AND HOLD BACK YOUR TEARS I WOULD FEEL THE PAIN AND FEELINGS YOU HAD BECAUSE I WOULD TRY VERY HARD TO THINK FOR YOU WITH YOUR FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS AND I DO MISS THAT. WELL DAD I WILL TALK AGAIN THIS WEEKEND AND SHARE MORE WITH YOU BECAUSE I'M REALLY SAD AND IT'S HARD TONIGHT TO FOCUS AND I JUST NEED TO RE-GROUP AND FOCUS ON MY FEELINGS WITH AND FOR YOU AND TONIGHT IS JUST A BAD NIGHT FOR ME. DAD, WE WILL TALK AGAIN VERY SOON AND REMEMBER I MISS AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HI DAD, THOUGHT I WOULD STOP TONIGHT AND SAY HELLO AND SEE HOW YOU ARE DOING. I'M DOING OKAY DAD, I'M STILL WATCHING MY WEIGHT AND TODAY WAS THE BEST YET I WEIGHED IN AT 208.2 LBS. MY GOAL IS BY SEPTEMBER 1, IS TO BE AT 200 LBS. AND I'M REALLY TRYING EACH DAY TO WATCH WHAT I EAT AND BONNIE,JUNIOR AND I ARE WALKING EACH NIGHT ABOUT 1-1.5 MILES AND I HOPE IT PAYS OFF. DAD, EACH DAY AT WORK WHEN DAISY COMES DOWN I WALK AT LEAST .5 A MILE ALSO SO I GET SOME GOOD WALKS IN EACH DAY. IT REALLY MAKES ME THINK AT NIGHT IF IT WASN'T FOR MY 2 BEST FRIENDS DAISY AND JUNIOR I DON'T THINK I COULD OF DONE IT MYSELF AT ALL AND I MEAN THAT VERY MUCH SO. I REALLY COUNT ON THEM EACH DAY TO BE READY FOR THE WALKS AND THEN IT REALLY BECOMES EASY FOR ME TO CONTINUE EACH AND EVERY DAY. I DO SOMEDAYS THINK ALOT ABOUT SLED AND WISH I WOULDN'T OF BEEN SO LAZY AND STARTED SOONER BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH IT MIGHT BE TO LATE FOR ME DAD I WILL REALLY TRY TO FIGHT IT OFF AND MAKE A SOLID RUN AT IT AND I PROMISE YOU THAT. I GUESS DAD I CAN'T KEEP WORRING WHAT I SHOULD OF DONE BUT DO WHAT I NEED TO DO TODAY TO BETTER AND HELP MYSELF. I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN IF I WANT TO AND I REALLY WANT TO ACHIEVE MY GOALS VERY MUCH SO. I WANT TO FIGHT DAD THE WAY YOU DID THOSE HARD 10 YEARS OF YOUR LIFE AND I KNOW AS MUCH AS IT WAS TUFF AT TIMES FOR YOU YOU WOULD STILL BE FIGHTING IF GIVEN THE CHANCE TO DO SO. I GUESS DAD THAT NOBODY REALLY WILL KNOW HOW YOU REALLY FELT AND STRUGGELED UNTIL SOMEONE GOES THROUGH IT BUT I DO RESPECT AND WILL ALWAYS HONOR AND LOVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID AND EVEN THOUGH IT WAS TUFF FOR YOU YOU TRIED VERY HARD AND HOPE IN HEAVEN YOU ARE REWARDED FOR IT BECAUSE YOU REALLY DESERVE IT DAD AND I MEAN THAT. WELL DAD I'M GOING TO LET YOU GO TONIGHT AND WILL TALK AGAIN THIS WEEKEND AND SHARE MORE MOMENTS AND THOUGHTS WITH YOU SO UNTIL THEN I LOVE YOU DAD. YOUR SON MARK

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY. I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD AS YOU KNOW TIFFANY MADE IT TO HER CLINICALS BUT I KNOW YOU HELPED GUIDED HER THERE BECAUSE YOU KNEW I WAS VERY WORRIED AND I DIDN'T HAVE TO ASK YOU FOR YOUR HELP BECAUSE YOU WHERE THERE FOR ME. I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR HELP DAD BECAUSE YOU KNOW I WAS VERY WORRIED BUT I WAS REALLY RELEAVED WHEN TIFFANY MADE IT ALSO. I HOPE THE NEXT FEW WEEKS GO GOOD FOR TIFFANY AND EVERYTHING WORKS OUT. TIFFANY IS REALLY EXCITED ABOUT COLLEGE AND THE MEDICAL FIELD AND AS YOU KNOW SHE IS DOING VERY WELL. I'M NOT READY YET DAD TO LET TIFFANY GO OUT ON HER OWN YET BUT I MUST LET HER ACCHIEVE HER GOALS AND HAPPINESS. I HOPE DAD THAT TIFFANY GETS TO THE TOP AND BECOMES THE BEST I DON'T THINK IN MY TIME I WAS ABLE TO DO THAT AND I GUESS I HAVE EXCEPTED THAT AND MUST FOCUS ON THE GOOD THINGS I STILL HAVE IN MY LIFE AND MY CHILDREN AND BONNIE AND OH YA I CAN'T FORGET JUNIOR ARE THE ONES I MUST FOCUS ON KNOW AND HELP AND SUPPORT IF I CAN. I KNOW YOU TRIED REALLY HARD DAD AT WORLD WIDE PRESS AND IF ANYBODY EVER HOPED YOU COULD OF HIT A GRAND SLAM I SURE DID AND EVEN THOUGH THINGS DIDN'T WORK OUT THE WAY YOU PLANNED FOR THEM YOU WORKED AND STRUGGLED HARDER THAN MOST AND EVEN THOSE WHO ARE SUCCESSFUL THE ONLY THING THAT WAS DIFFERENT WAS THOSE WHO MAKE IT TO THE TOP GET THE BREAKS THEY NEED NOT THE BRAINS DAD AND THAT'S HOW UNFORTANUTLEY IT WORKS NOT FAIR BUT THAT'S THE TRUTH. WELL DAD I'M 50 KNOW AND DON'T HAVE A WHOLE LOT GOING FOR ME BUT I DO HAVE MY FAMILY AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME KNOW IT'S TO LATE TO TRY TO BECOME SOMEBODY IN LIFE IT JUST WASN'T IN THE CARDS DAD BUT THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE I DID LEARN ALOT AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT. I'LL BE OKAY IN TIME DAD AND SITE BACK AND WILL LAUGH AT ALL THE HARD TIMES AND SAY IT'S TIME TO JUST ENJOY MY TIME LEFT DAD AND THAT WILL MAKE ME HAPPY. WELL DAD THAT DREAM MOM HAD WAS VERY POWERFUL AND HAD ALOT OF MEANING TO US AND I KNOW IN YOUR SPECIAL WAY YOU ARE TRYING TO HELP US OUT AND I REALLY RESPECT YOU FOR THAT AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND I KNOW AS EACH DAY THAT GOES BY YOU WILL HELP US ALL OUT MORE AND MORE. DAD, ENOUGH ABOUT US AND HOW ABOUT YOU, HOW ARE YOU DOING AND I HOPE YOU ALSO ARE GROWING STRONGER AS EACH DAY GOES BY AND SOMEDAY YOU WILL MAKE IT CLEAR AND EXPLAIN WHY THIS ALL HAPPENS AND WHY IT HURTS SO BAD. WELL TRY TO BE HAPPY DAD AND I WILL DO THE SAME AND AS I SEE YOU ARE TRYING TO HELP US THAT IS WHAT MAKES ME HAPPIER AND GROW STRONGER EACHDAY AND THAT'S ALL WE HAVE SO WE MUST MAKE THE BEST OF IT. IT'S REALLY HARD AT TIMES DAD BUT I THINK WE CAN WORK AT IT AND TRY TO BUILD AND MAKE THE FOUNDATION STRONGER AND ALSO TRY TO HELP THOSE WHO NEED TO BE PICKED UP WHEN IT HURTS BECAUSE WE NOW ALL KNOW HOW IT FEELS AND HOW THE HURT FEELS ALSO BECAUSE IT DOES HURT AND SOMETIMES THE HURT DOES'NT GO AWAY THAT EASY. WELL DAD, I GUESS I WILL LET YOU GO AND HOPE FOR THE BEST FOR ALL OF US AND MAKE SURE YOU GIVE OUR LOVE AND SAY HELLO TO ALL THOSE WE MISS AND HAVE LOST IN OUR TIME BECAUSE I MISS ALL OF THEM ALSO AND CAN REMEMBER ALL THOSE GOOD TIMES WE SHARED AND LIKE WE HAVE SAID BEFORE TIME GOES BY SO FAST THAT ALL THOSE GOOD TIMES STILL SEEM LIKE YESTERDAY TO ME. THE ONE THING DAD THAT I DON'T OR I DON'T THINK ANYONE HAS THE ANSWER FOR IS HOW AND WHY TIME GOES BY SO FAST BECAUSE IT SURE FLYS BY. WELL DAD UNTIL WE TALK AGAIN TAKE IT EASY AND THANK YOU AGAIN FOR ALL YOUR HELP BECAUSE I DO COUNT ON YOU VERY MUCH SO AND I APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH SO.I KNOW DAD THAT YOU ARE STILL AND ALWAYS BE MY DAD AND I'M SO PROUD OF THAT AND MY HONOR TO CALL YOU THAT AND I MEAN THAT DAD WITH MY WHOLE HEART AND WILL NEVER THINK OR WANT ANYTHING MORE OR LESS. HAVE A GOODDAY DAD AND UNTIL NEXT TIME REMEMBER I MISS AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND COUNT ON YOU FOR YOUR GUIDANCE AND FOR OFF THE RECORD DAD TODAY I WEIGHED IN AT 210.2 AND STILL GOING DOWN. LOVE ALWAYS DAD YOUR SON MARK.

Dear David,
Thank you for the message you sent Mark and I on Sunday evening July 10, 2011 in my dream. The dream went like this, you were coming to get Mark and I in the brown station wagon that we drove to Montana in. We were going to the store when all of a sudden you drove away by yourself leaving Mark and I their alone. We were waiting all day for you to come back and get us, we were waiting in someones home (unsure of who). About 5pm I heard policeman outside of the door telling family members that David/Dad had passed away suddenly of a massive heart attack! I started yelling "OH NO!!" and woke up crying like a baby. Needless to say I was very sad. I then proceeded to explain this dream to my sister Donna in Cleveland during my visit and she stated "be very happy for David, for he is telling you that he is at peace, in your dream he was DRIVING the car (he had not driven for over 10 years) and he died a very quick and peaceful death compared to what he did on earth with 10 yrs of suffering". Aunt Donna said she had "chills", we hugged and said we loved each other and my day started to get better! Hope this helps Mark and everyone else to have a little joy in their heart for Dad is at peace and watching over us!
Much Love, Mom

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT. WELL FOR ME TONIGHT IT'S A SAD EVENING DAD BECAUSE THIS IS THE EVE OF 1 YEAR AGO WHEN YOU PASSED AWAY. I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TONIGHT BUT IT SOMETIMES CAN HELP A PERSON WHEN YOU CAN SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS WITH SOMEONE. I STILL REMEMBER THAT NIGHT OF JULY 11TH 2010 AND WOULD OF NEVER THOUGHT JULY 12TH THE NEXT DAY WOULD OF BEEN YOUR LAST DAY WITH US AND I REALLY MEAN THAT. THE MORNING OF JULY 12TH I STILL REMEMBER WALKING INTO YOUR ROOM AT PEACE HOSPICE AND AFTER A FEW MINUTES YOU ASKED ME DAD YOU CAME EARLY TODAY AND SAID GOOD. I THEN SAID WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE A DONUT WITH ME AND YOU SAID GO GET ONE FOR US. WHEN I CAME BACK YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T CRAVE IT YET SO WE WAITED. DAD THAT MORNING YOU LOOKED AND SEEMED SO TIRED THAT I WASN'T SURE YOU WANTED YOUR BATH BUT YOU SAID YES IF WE COULD DO IT FAST AND SO BERNADETT AND I DID IT AS FAST AS WE COULD. WHEN I WAS HOLDING YOU DAD ON YOUR SIDE I KNEW SOMETHING WASN'T RIGHT BUT I STILL NEVER THOUGHT THIS WAS THE DAY BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS FOUGHT BACK AND PULLED OUT OF IT SO THIS TO ME WAS NO DIFFERENT I HAD FAITH IN YOU AND AFTER YOUR BATH YOU WOULD FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. DAD WHEN WE FINISHED AND I PULLED YOU UP HIGH IN THE BED AND YOU SAID OPEN THE WINDOWS AND DOORS NOW I STARTED TO GET SCARED AND THAT IS WHEN I CALLED MOM AND TODD,KIM CHAD, AND CRAIG BECAUSE I KNEW NOW SOMETHING WAS NOT RIGHT TO ME. DAD, I REALLY WISH I COULD BRING BACK THAT DAY AND IT WOULD OF ONLY BEEN A BAD DREAM AND THINGS WOULD OF BEEN BETTER FOR YOU THEN WHAT HAPPENED. IF I COULD OF I WOULD OF DONE ANYTHING FOR YOU THAT I COULD OF FOR YOU. JULY 12TH DAD WILL BE A VERY SAD DAY FOR ME AS LONG AS I LIVE BUT IN TIME WILL TRY TO DEAL WITH IT AS LONG AS I DON'T THINK ABOUT IT TO MUCH. I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW YOU LOOSE SOMEONE THAT MEANS SO MUCH TO YOU HOW YOU CAN EVER GET OVER IT AND JUST MOVE ON BECAUSE IT'S REALLY HARD AND I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS TO YOU IT DOESN'T WORK OR HELP HOW YOU STILL FEEL INSIDE. I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TELL ANYONE DAD HOW I REALLY FEEL BECAUSE I JUST COULDN'T EXPLAIN IT BECAUSE IT HURTS SO BAD AND FEELS JUST LIKE LETTING AIR OUT OF A BALLOON. DAD, MY LOVE AND RESPECT FOR YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE AND I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT WE HAD AND I WILL ALWAYS HAVE MY MEMORIES AND ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE SHARED TOGETHER AND AS A FAMILY BECAUSE THESE ARE PRICLESS AND NOBODY CAN TAKE THIS FROM YOU EVER. I CAN ONLY HOPE AND WISH AND PRAY THAT YOU ARE OKAY AND YOU ARE WATCHING ME WRITE TO YOU AS I CRY LIKE A BABY AND CAN MAKE ME REALLY UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE OKAY AND THAT YOU ARE HAPPY AND ALL YOUR HURT IS GONE BECAUSE THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO HOLD ONTO AND IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME BECAUSE I'M REALLY HAVING A HARD TIME WITH LOOSING AND MISSING YOU DAD. I STILL WAKE UP AND SAY IT'S NOT TRUE BUT I KNOW I CAN'T CHANGE IT AS MUCH AS I WISH I COULD CHANGE IT. WELL DAD, EVEN THOUGH I'M SAD IT MEANS ALOT TO ME AT THE SAME TIME I WANT YOU TO BE AS HAPPY AS YOU CAN AND I WILL ALWAYS SAY GOODNIGHT TO YOU AND SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR YOU EACH NIGHT AS I GO TO BED AND EACH DAY I WAKE UP I COME OUT TO YOUR MEMORIAL I SET UP FOR YOU AND SAY HELLO AND GOOD MORNING TO YOU AND I WISH AND HOPE THAT YOU LOOK DOWN AND CAN SEE THIS EACH DAY. I HOPE DAD THAT AS EACH DAY GOES BY WHICH I'M GETTING OLDER NOW AND THAT SCARES ME ALSO THAT I WILL LEARN AND FIND THE STRENGTH TO GET STRONGER THAT I CAN EXCEPT YOU ARE HAPPY AND IN A BETTER PLACE AND YOUR PAIN AND SUFFERING IS GONE. I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT ITS BEEN 1 YEAR BECAUSE TO ME IT WILL ALWAYS FEEL LIKE YESTERDAY AND THAT AFTERNOON OF JULY 12TH. TIME HAS REALLY GONE BY SO FAST AND THAT SCARES ME DAD BECAUSE AS I HAVE SAID BEFORE I'M NOT READY TO DIE YET BECAUSE IT SCARES ME SO MUCH SO. I WILL TRY AND MAKE SURE I WILL MAKE THE BEST OF MY TIME LEFT IN LIFE WITH MY FAMILY SO THAT THEY WILL ALSO HAVE THE WONDERFUL MEMORIES AND LOVE THAT WE SHARED DAD AND THAT WILL MAKE ME SO HAPPY TO ACCOMPLISH BECAUSE YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN TO SOMEONE HOW IT FEELS UNTIL YOU LOOSE SOMETHING LIKE WE ALL LOST YOU DAD. WE ALL GROW OLDER AND WE ALL IN OUR OWN WAYS DEAL WITH DEATH AND LOOSING SOMEONE WE LOVE AND CARE FOR SO DEARLY AND I CAN ONLY SHARE WITH YOU DAD AND OTHERS WHO READ THIS HOW I FEEL AND I'M NOT ASHAMED TO SHARE THIS BECAUSE THIS IS HOW I REALLY FEEL TODAY AND EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE SO I CAN ONLY HOPE DAD THAT PEOPLE READ THIS AND CAN ONLY RESPECT THIS AND MAYBE FEEL THE SAME WAY AS I DO WITHOUT SAYING IT OUT LOUD BECAUSE THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY AND I KNOW IT WOULD MAKE YOU HAPPY ALSO DAD. WE ALL IN OUR OWN WAYS DEAL WITH LIFE AND SAD TIMES BUT THIS WAS MY WAY WHEN SOMEONE ASKED ME WHY I DO THIS AND I STILL SAY DAD 1 YEAR LATER THAT I BELIEVE WITH MY WHOLE HEART THAT WHEN I TALK WITH YOU DAD THAT YOU ARE NEAR AND AROUND ME AND I'M NOT AFFRAID OR ASHAMED TO SHARE WITH OTHERS HOW I FEEL BECAUSE I KNOW HOW AND WHAT I FEEL AND I WILL NEVER CHANGE THAT EVER. WELL DAD IT'S TIME FOR MY PILLS AND I'M GETTING TIRED SO I GUESS I WILL LET YOU GO AND WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH DAD AND WILL ALWAYS CHERRISH OUR MEMORIES,LOVE AND HAPPINESS WE COULD SHARE AND NEVER FORGET THIS EVER. DAD YOU ALWAYS CAN CHANGE THINGS AND MAKE THINGS BETTER IN YOUR LIFE BUT ONE THING I WOULD NEVER CHANGE IS THAT YOU ARE MY DAD AND I WILL ALWAYS HONOR AND RESPECT YOU FOR BEING MY DAD BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER EVER CHANGE THAT. I HOPE ONE DAY THAT WE WILL MEET AGAIN AND I WILL SEE YOU FACE TO FACE AND SAY TO YOU HI DAD I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH. DAD IT WILL BE MY HONOR BUT UNTIL THEN I WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH AND WE WILL MAKE THE BEST OF IT AND BE HAPPY. LOVE YOU DAD YOUR SON MARK AND FAMILY.

HELLO DAD AND HAPPY 4TH OF JULY TO YOU AND ALL OUR LOVED ONES WE MISS. HOW ARE YOU DOING DAD, I'M DOING OKAY I GUESS. I REMEMBER COMING OVER ON THE 4TH OF JULY AND WATCHING THE FIREWORKS WITH YOU AND MOM FROM YOUR PORCH AND I SURE WILL MISS THAT THIS YEAR. I STILL DAD CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE GONE DAD AND I'M STILL HAVING A TUFF TIME WITH IT. DAD, IT JUST DOESEN'T SEEM RIGHT OR FAIR THAT YOUR LIFE WAS TAKEN SO SHORT FROM YOU. I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY DAD AND BETWEEN YOU AND ME I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND IT OR EXCEPT IT. WELL THE FIREWORKS ARE GOING OFF AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME THAT I FOUND OUT YOU COULD SEE THEM FROM MY HOUSE. THE FIREWORKS DAD ARE NOT BAD THIS YEAR THEY LOOK PRETTY GOOD YOU WOULD LIKE THEM I KNOW YOU WOULD. THIS WAS THE NIGHT DAD THAT BONNIE AND I WENT TO BED AFTER THE FIREWORKS AND WITHIN 2 HRS. BONNIE CALLED ME UP AND SAID IT'S TIME AND I JUMPED UP THINKING IT WAS TIME FOR WORK BUT IT REALLY WAS TIME TO BRING TIFFANY INTO MY LIFE 21 YEARS AGO. DAD, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT WAS 21 YEARS AGO AND YES JULY 5TH TIFFANY WILL BE 21. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, IT SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY BUT TIME GOES BY SO FAST. WELL DAD TONIGHT I'M GOING TO CALL IT A EARLY NIGHT BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH GOING THROUGH MY MIND TONIGHT AND I JUST NEED TO REST AND REGROUP MYSELF. WELL FOR TONIGHT DAD I WILL SAY GOODNIGHT TO YOU AND TELL YOU THAT I MISS AND LOVE YOU VERY MUCH SO BUT I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS BECAUSE AT TIMES I KNOW YOU ARE ALL AROUND ME SOME HOW AND I THANK YOU FOR THIS SO MUCH. WELL I WILL BE TALKING TO YOU REAL SOON DAD, WE WILL HAVE A BIG TOPIC TO DISCUSS AND TONIGHT IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME TO TALK ABOUT IT BUT I WILL IN TIME SO FOR KNOW LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH. LOVE YOU DAD YOUR SON MARK

HELLO DAD, THOUGHT TONIGHT I WOULD SAY HI AND SEE HOW YOU ARE DOING TONIGHT. I'M DOING PRETTY GOOD TODAY. I STILL LOOK AT YOUR PICTURE DAD AND IT JUST DOESN'T SEEM TRUE THAT YOU ARE GONE YOU SURE DON'T LOOK YOUR AGE THATS FOR SURE. YOU LOOK TO ME AS A YOUNG HARD WORKING MAN WITH ALL KINDS OF THOUGHTS AND IDEAS. WELL THIS IS THE 4TH OF JULY WEEKEND AND I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE JUNE IS OVER. THIS IS JUST LIKE I HAVE BEEN SAYING TIME GOES BY SO FAST DON'T IT TO YOU DAD? WELL WE WILL TALK THIS WEEKEND DAD TONIGHT HAS BEEN A LONG NIGHT AND I'M GOING TO BED SOON SO THIS WILL BE A SHORT TALK NIGHT AND I WILL TALK SOON TO YOU. GOODNIGHT DAD AND ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT I MISS YOU VERY MUCH. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DAD, I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD DAY. I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS IS OUR FIRST FATHER'S DAY WITHOUT YOU CAN YOU, IT STILL FEELS JUST LIKE YESTERDAY TO ME STILL. I STILL WILL ALWAYS SAY THAT IT WASN,T FAIR BUT AS YOU KNOW WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHEN OUR TIME IS UP. LIFE IS STRANGE DAD ONE MOMENT YOU ARE HAPPY AND THE NEXT YOU ARE SAD. WELL TODAY IS OUR DAY DAD SO LET'S BE AS HAPPY AS WE CAN BE AND ENJOY WHAT WE DO HAVE BECAUSE ONE THING THAT NOBODY CAN ARGUE IS THAT NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY CAN TAKE AWAY YOUR THOUGHTS,EMOTIONS AND LOVE WE HAVE AND THAT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING CAN EVER BE IN MY BOOK. DAD, AS YOU KNOW TIFFANY CAME TO TOWN TO SURPRISE ME FOR FATHER'S DAY AND THAT MADE BONNIE AND I VERY HAPPY TO SEE TIFFANY AGAIN BECAUSE WE MISS HER VERY MUCH SO. WE WILL HAVE A NICE DINNER TODAY WITH WHITNEY,BRYAN,TIFFANY AND MAYBE NORMAN IF HE IS UP TO IT. OH YA, JUNIOR ALSO I COULD I FORGET MY SON. WELL TIFFANY WILL HEAD BACK TO SPOKANE ON WEDNESDAY MORNING EARLY AND I WILL MISS HER WHEN SHE LEAVES BUT I KNOW SHE MUST GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND ACCOMPLISH HER DREAMS AND GOAL AND I WILL SAY SHE IS DOING VERY WELL. WHITNEY ALSO FOUND A GOOD JOB WITH A COMPANY CALLED ABC WHICH IS A GUTTER AND ROOFING COMPANY AND SHE REALLY SEEMS TO LIKE IT AND THE PAY IS GOOD ALSO WHICH I'M HAPPY FOR HER. BONNIE STILL WORKS HARD AT HELPING HER DAD BUT AS WE ALL KNOW SOMETIMES IT CAN BE VERY HARD AND EMOTIONAL AS WE WENT THROUGH. DAD, LIKE THE OLD SAYING LIFE IS LIKE A ROLLERCOASTER, IS THIS WHY DAD I LIKE ROLLERCOASTERS THE WAY I DO? I GUESS WE ALL HAVE CRAZY THINGS IN LIFE WE WILL DO OR LIKE TO TRY. WELL DAD I'M STILL GOING TO WORK AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE I BELONG IN LIFE BECAUSE I'M STILL LOST AND IT'S ALMOST 1-YEAR AND I STILL FEEL THIS WAY AT LEAST DAISY COUNTS ON ME AND THAT'S SAYING ALOT TO ME. SOMETIMES DAD LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS FAIR AND THINGS FEEL WRONG BUT YOU CAN'T CHANGE IT AND YOU JUST MAKE THE BEST OF WHAT YOU HAVE. MAYBE DAD THE OLD SAYING DOES APPLY TO ME WHEN GOD WAS HANDING OUT BRAINS I MISSED UNDERSTOOD AND THOUGHT HE WAS HANDING OUT TRAINS. HA, HA,HA. DAD, WE ALL NEED A GOOD LAUGH SOMETIMES IN LIFE AND MAYBE THAT'S WHAT KEEPS ME GOING I REALLY HAVEN'T FIGURED THAT OUT YET BUT WHEN I DO YOU WILL BE THE FIRST THAT I WILL LET KNOW. I THINK IT REALLY HELPS TO KEEP A REAL GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR DAD BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME RIGHT NOW YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE STILL GONE AND I OR NOBODY CAN CHANGE THAT OR MAKE MY HURT GO AWAY. I DO THINK THAT REMEMBERING HAPPY THOUGHTS AND MEMORIES SOMETIMES HELP FOR AWHILE BUT THE PAIN AND HURT COMES RIGHT BACK AND SOMETIMES WON'T LEAVE EASILY AS YOU CAN SEE. I WISH ONE DAY DAD THAT YOU CAN SHOW ME A SIGHN THAT IT WILL BE OKAY AND THINGS DO AND ARE BETTER IN THE END BECAUSE TO ME AND I'M SURE TO OTHERS THAT MEANS ALOT. WELL DAD, I HOPE MOM IS STILL HAVING FUN IN OHIO WITH THE FAMILY AND HER FRIENDS SHE DESERVES IT DAD AND I KNOW YOU WOULD TELL HER THE SAME IF YOU COULD. DAD, I REALLY HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TODAY AND EACH DAY OF YOUR LIFE. MY GIFT TODAY AND EVERYDAY IS MY LOVE,HAPPINESS WE SHARED AND FOR ALL THOSE GOOD MEMORIES WE WILL ALWAYS CHERRISH. I ALWAYS LIKE TO SAVE THE BEST GIFT FOR LAST AND THAT IS ME CALLING YOU MY DAD TODAY AND EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE THAT'S THE BEST GIFT ANYONE COULD EVER HAVE. EACH TIME WE TALK DAD I SEE YOUR PICTURE I PICKED FOR YOUR GUEST BOOK AND THAT'S THE WAY I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU AND THAT IS HAPPY AND SMILING LIKE YOU ARE NOW. I HOPE DAD ONE DAY THAT WE WILL LOOK BACK AND UNDERSTAND ALL THIS AND SAY IT WAS WORTH IT AND WATCH OTHERS GO THROUGH ALL THIS PAIN AND SORROW AND TRY TO TELL THEM IT WILL BE OKAY. I KNOW HOW I FEEL AND IT WILL BE TUFF TO WATCH OUR LOVED ONES GO THROUGH THE SAME FEELING AND MOMENTS AS WE HAVE HAD TO DO. I GUESS DAD THIS IS THE BEAUTY OF GETTING OLDER AND HAVING ALL THESE SITUATIONS OCCURING IN LIFE AND HAVING TO DEAL WITH THEM. WELL DAD HAVE A HAPPY FATHER'S DAY AND I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST DAY THAT YOU CAN AND AS I WRITE I CAN AND DO FEEL YOUR PRESENCE AROUND ME AND I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT BECAUSE I REALLY NEED THAT AT TIMES AS I TRY TO GET STRONGER AS EACH DAY GOES BY AND DON'T THESE DAY'S GO BY REALLY FAST. WELL DAD, TAKE CARE AND WE WILL TALK SOON AND SAY HI TO EVERYONE AND TELL GRANDMA AND GRANDPA I HAVE REALLY BEEN WATCHING MY WEIGHT. TODAY I WEIGHED IN AT 213.2 POUNDS AND REALLY HAPPY ABOUT IT. LOVE YOU DAD, AND ALWAYS WILL LOVE YOU. DAD THANK YOU FOR BEING MY DAD IT MEANS ALOT TO ME AND ALWAYS WILL. LOVE YOUR SON MARK AND FAMILY.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DAD AND I WILL TALK LATER, LOVE MARK,BONNIE,TIFFANY,JUNIOR,BANDIT,WHITNEY,BRYAN,BEAR DOG, AND SLED EVEN THOUGH HE IS NOT WITH US ANY MORE.

HI DAD, JUST THOUGHT TONIGHT I WOULD STOP AND SAY HELLO. I HOPE YOU ARE STILL DOING GOOD. WE ARE TAKING CARE OF BONNIE'S DAD NORMAN AS YOU CAN SEE AND AT TIMES IT'S SAD FOR ME BECAUSE I REMEMBER BEING WITH YOU AND HELPING YOU EACH DAY AS WE DID. I STILL WAKE UP EACH DAY AND WISH I COULD HELP YOU AND BETTER YET I WISH YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR SICKNESS AS YOU DID EACH DAY. DAD, I WILL ALWAYS SAY IT WASN'T FAIR AND WISHED YOU COULD OF BEEN LIVING A BETTER LIFE AND COULD OF ENJOYED IT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE DOES. I WILL ALWAYS WONDER AND ASK WHY IT HAD TO BE YOU AND I HOPE DAD YOU WILL BE ABLE TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME ONE DAY AND THEN I WILL EXCEPT IT BUT UNTIL THEN I JUST CAN'T LET IT GO AND BE HAPPY WITHOUT A TRUTHFUL ANSWER. I HOPE DAD AS I SAY THIS YOU ARE SMILING AND SAYING JUST DON'T WORRY BECAUSE IT WAS WORTH IT AND MY PAIN IS GONE AND THAT YOU ARE HAPPY BUT I KNOW YOU DO MISS ALL OF US AND WISH THINGS WOULD OF BEEN DIFFERENT BUT YOU MUST GO FORWARD WITH YOUR NEW LIFE. DAD, I STILL WONDER THE DAY YOU SAW YOUR PARENTS GRANDMA AND GRANDPA AND ALL THE LOVED ONES WE ALL LOST AND MISS WHAT IT WAS LIKE FOR YOU TO EXPERIENCE THAT FELLING AGAIN AS YOU SEE THEM ALL AGAIN. WELL DAD, ONE DAY WE WILL ALL HAVE THAT CHANCE TO FEEL WHAT IT WAS LIKE AND YOU AND I CAN TALK ABOUT THAT HAPPINESS. I GO TO BED AT NIGHT AND SAY I'M READY TO SEE YOU AGAIN BUT I GET SCARED BECAUSE I'M STILL NOT READY AND HAVE THINGS TO ACCOMPLISH AND SEE TO BEFORE MY TIME COMES. DAD, I'M STILL WATCHING MY WEIGHT AND STILL WEIGH IN AT 214.8 AS OF TODAY AND I'M STILL TRYING VERY HARD BUT I WILL BE HONEST WITH YOU IT'S HARD AT TIMES BUT MUST KEEP GOING AND IT WILL PAY OFF IN THE END. I HOPE AS THE SUMMER DAYS KEEP COMING I WILL BE ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH MORE AND MORE EACH DAY. I STILL SAY TO MYSELF YOU AND GRANDMA JULIET WHERE RIGHT AND I SHOULD OF LISTENED AND NOT BEEN SO CLOSED MINDED AND IT WOULDN'T OF BEEN SO HARD TO DO BUT I DIDN'T SO I MUST WORK HARD AT IT AND ACHIEVE MY GOAL AS SOON AS I CAN AND STICK TO IT AND MAYBE I CAN TELL OTHERS AND SOMEONE WILL LISTEN TO ME AND THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY TO SHARE WITH SOMEONE. WELL DAD, FROM THE LAST TIME WE TALKED I'M DOING BETTER TODAY AND I CAN FEEL YOU REALLY TRYING TO HELP AND GUIDE ME AND I APPRECIATE THAT VERY MUCH AND I WILL STILL ALWAYS NEED YOUR LOVE AND HELP AND I KNOW YOU WILL ALWAYS PICK ME UP BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE MY DAD THROUGH GOOD OR BAD DAYS. I WILL ALWAYS CHERRISH AND SHARE YESTERDAY THROUGH MY MIND OR WITH OTHERS AS IF IT WAS YESTERDAY AND ALL THE GOOD TIMES AND MEMORIES WE SHARED BECAUSE LIKE I HAVE SAID BEFORE THIS TO ME IS ONLY A REAL BAD DREAM AND WHEN I WAKE UP IT REALLY DIDN'T HAPPEN I HOPE AND PRAY. BONNIE AND I DAD STILL HAVE GOALS AND THINGS IN LIFE WE WOULD LIKE TO SEE HAPPEN AND DO STILL AND HOPE THAT I CAN DO THEM AND SEE MY GIRLS WHITNEY AND TIFFANY GET SET IN LIFE AND ARE HAPPY THAT WILL MAKE US BONNIE AND I VERY HAPPY AND SEE THAT WE ACCOMPLISHED GOOD THINGS IN LIFE. I KNOW DAD HOW I FElt THE day I LOST YOU AND HOW I STILL FEEL AND CAN'T IMAGINE PUTTING MY WIFE OR CHILDREN THROUGH THAT SAME PAIN BECAUSE THERE IS NO CURE FOR IT AND THAT MAKES ME SAD TO THINK ABOUT IF I HAVE TO DO THAT TO THEM BECAUSE LIKE I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE IT DOES REALLY HURT DAD AND I REALLY MEAN THAT WITH MY WHOLE HEART AND SOUL IT HURT'S. DAD, I KEEP FORGETTING TO ASK YOU AND FORGET HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO BUMP INTO SLED AND SEE THAT HE REALLY WASN'T A BAD DOG HE JUST NEEDED LOVE AND ATTENTION AS WE ALL DO AND REMEMBER HE LOVES HIS TREATS. WE STILL HAVE JUNIOR DAD AND WE HAVE BECOME ATTACHED TO HIM ALSO AND HE BECOMES AS YOUR SON AND YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE YOU TRY TO TEACH THEM AND THEY REALLY WILL PROTECT YOU. WE STILL HAVE BANDIT OUR CAT BUT SHE STAYS UP AT NORMAN'S HOUSE BECAUSE THAT'S HIS COMPANION BUT AS YOU KNOW WE ARE CARING FOR HIM AND DON'T REALLY THINK HE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO LIVE AGAIN ON HIS OWN BUT YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT IS INSTORED FOR EACH OF US. WELL DAD, THAT'S ALL I KNOW FOR TODAY AND I WILL LET YOU GET BACK TO WHAT YOU ARE DOING, HOPE YOU ARE ON THE COMPUTOR LIKE I HAVE BEEN AND YOU ARE ACHIEVING YOUR GOALS. WELL DAD, GOODNIGHT FOR KNOW AND WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON AND ALWAYS REMEMBER KNOW MATTER WHAT I'M DOING AND WHERE I'M AT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND SOME DAY WE MEET AND I CAN YELL AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS AND SAY DAD AND SHAKE YOUR HAND WITH A BIG HUG AND SAY TO YOU FACE TO FACE I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT ALL THIS TIME AND IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT BECAUSE I'M NOT AFFRAID ANYMORE. LOVE ALWAYS DAD, YOUR SON MARK.

HI DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY. I HOPE YOU ARE DOING GOOD STILL AND ARE HAPPY THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. WELL I DID IT DAD, I MADE IT TO 50 YEARS YOUNG WHEN THE DOCTORS DIDN'T REALLY THINK I WOULD. I ALSO MADE IT TO 215.8 LBS. FOR MY WEIGHT AND STILL WORK OFF MORE. MY NEXT GOAL I THINK DAD WILL BE TO GET DOWN TO 200 LBS. BY THE END OF SUMMER. MY NEXT DATE WILL BE SEPT. 1,2011 I WILL TRY TO GET DOWN TO 200 LBS. OR LESS BY THEN. WELL DAD TODAY IS MY 50TH BIRTHDAY AND I DON'T KNOW HOW IT PASSED BY SO FAST BUT IT HAS. I KNOW REALIZE WHEN PEOPLE SAY ENJOY LIFE AND EACH DAY OF YOUR LIFE AS YOU CAN AND I KNOW REALIZE WHAT THEY MEAN BECAUSE IT GOES BY SO QUICKLY. WHILE I SITE TALKING WITH YOU I CAN FEEL YOUR PRESENCE AND I KNOW YOU WOULD IF YOU COULD SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SON AND THAT MEANS ALOT TO ME TO FEEL THAT AROUND ME. THANK YOU DAD AND THAT IS THE BEST BIRTHDAY GIFT I COULD ASK FOR FROM YOU AND I MEAN THAT. MOM GAVE ME A VERY NICE AND MEMORABLE GIFT ALSO FOR MY BIRTHDAY DAD, AND THAT WAS YOUR CLASS RING FROM ST.ED'S HIGHSCHOOL AND THAT REALLY MEANS ALOT TO ME VERY MUCH SO.I WILL ALWAYS CHERRISH THIS EACH AND EVERYDAY UNTIL THE DAY I DIE AND WHEN I DO DIE DAD I WILL WEAR IT AND SHOW YOU HOW PROUD I AM TO HAVE IT. I REALLY DO APPRECIATE IT AS YOU KNOW I DO DAD. WELL DAD BONNIE AND I ARE HELPING HER DAD NORMAN AS YOU WATCH OVER US AND SEE, AND IF ANYONE KNOWS WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO STRUGGLE YOU SURE DID. DAD, TIMES MIGHT GET TUFF FOR BONNIE THROUGH THIS JOURNEY AND IF ANYONE I CAN COUNT ON TO HELP I DON'T HAVE TO ASK BECAUSE I KNOW YOU WILL HELP AND WE WILL NEED YOUR HELP AS TIMES GET BETTER OR WORSE BUT I KNOW I MYSELF CAN COUNT ON YOU FOR YOUR HELP,LOVE AND SUPPORT. WELL DAD SAY HI TO ALL THE LOVED ONES WE ALL MISS IF YOU WOULD FOR ME PLEASE. I STILL GET VERY SAD WHEN I THINK ABOUT YESTERDAY AND I REMEMBER GRANDMA AND GRANDPA AND ALL THOSE WHO MADE THE PAST SO JOYFUL BUT YOU ARE KNOW WITH THEM AND CAN KEEP THE TOURCH GOING UNTIL WE ALL MEET AGAIN SOMEDAY. WELL DAD I'M GOING TO TRY TO ENJOY THE REST OF MY BIRTHDAY IF I CAN BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET YESTERDAY AND THOSE WILL ALWAYS BE THE TIMES TO REMEMBER AND NEVER FORGET AND YOU CAN COUNT ON ME DAD BECAUSE I WILL NEVER FORGET THOSE DAYS. I ALSO LEARNED ANOTHER THING IN LIFE DAD DON'T ALWAYS TAKE FOR GRANTED WHAT YOU HAVE IN LIFE BECAUSE WHEN YOU LOOSE SOMETHING YOU CHERRISH IT'S HARD TO LET GO AND TELL YOURSELF IT REALLY HAPPEND AND I GUESS IT WILL STILL TAKE TIME FOR ME TO ACCEPT IT. THE REAL TRUTH IS DAD THAT I WILL NEVER ACCEPT IT BUT WILL HAVE TO IN TIME JUST DEAL WITH. WELL DAD UNTIL WE TALK AGAIN TAKE CARE OF YOUSELF AND I WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT. I HOPE YOU ARE DOING OKAY DAD BECAUSE TODAY WAS A BAD DAY FOR ME. I KEPT THINKING OF THE PAST AND HOW IT USED TO BE. DAD I REMEMBER THE DAYS OF PROGRESSIVE LITHO AND I REALLY MISS THOSE DAYS AND REALLY WISHED THINGS WOULD OF WORKED OUT. I KNOW WE HAD TO MAKE THE BEST OF WHAT WE HAD AND WISH SINCE COMING OUT TO MONTANA AND WORKING WITH YOU AT WORLD WIDE PRESS WE COULD OF HIT A HOMERUN DAD, AND REALLY YOU DESERVED A GRAND SLAM HIT AND THAT IS WHAT I HAVE A HARD TIME WITH EACH DAY AND WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO THINK ANY DIFFERNT. I GET SO UPSET DAD BECAUSE IT'S SO NOT FAIR AND I WILL NEVER THINK ANY OTHER WAY AS LONG AS I LIVE. I WILL ALWAYS WONDER IF A MURDERER GETS A SECOND CHANCE AND IN SOME CASES GET OFF WHY DIDN'T YOU GET A SECOND CHANCE YOU DIDN'T HURT ANYBODY. I HOPE DAD YOU AND GOD HAD A GOOD TALK AND YOU UNDERSTAND WHY AND YOU ARE HAPPY AND ONE DAY I WILL MEET WITH YOU AND YOU WILL PLEASE MAKE ME UNDERSTAND WHY THINGS HAPPEN AND WHY I FEEL THINGS ARE NOT FAIR. WELL DAD I STILL DOING PRETTY GOOD ON MY WEIGHT I TODAY WEIGHED IN AT 218.0 LBS. MY GOAL IS STILL 215 LBS. FOR MY BIRTHDAY WHICH IS IN 5 DAYS. I'M REALLY NOT HAPPY DAD ABOUT TURNING 50 YEARS OLD BUT I GUESS I CAN'T CHANGE IT CAN I DAD. MY BEST GIFT THIS YEAR WILL BE THE 50 YEARS I HAVE SHARED WITH YOU DAD AND YOU BRINGING ME INTO THIS WORLD. I WILL NEVER FORGET WHEN I WAS BORN AND HOW YOU STOOD UP FOR ME AND BELIEVED IN ME BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LEAVE ME AND I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT AS LONG AS I LIVE AND I REALLY MEAN THAT DAD. I DON'T KNOW DAD HOW OLD I WILL BE WHEN IT'S MY TIME BUT UNTIL THEN DAD YOU WILL ALWAYS BE APART OF MY LIFE BECAUSE I STILL HAVE A HEART AND KNOWBODY CAN TAKE THAT FROM ME. I WILL ALWAYS HOLD MY FEELINGS AND MEMORIES AND PLAY IT OVER AND OVER IN MY THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS EACH AND EVERYDAY AS I TRY TO GO FORWARD WITH MY LIFE AND TRY TO TELL MYSELF YOU ARE HAPPY AND IT WAS WORTH IT IN THE END. I HOPE THE DAY WE MEET DAD YOU WILL PICK ME OUT OF A CROWD AND SAY MY SON WE FINALLY MEET AGAIN AND WE CAN SAY IT WAS WORTH THE WAITE I WILL BE SO HAPPY FOR THAT TIME WE MISSED ONCE AGAIN TO BE SHARED AND BROUGHT BACK AS A FAMILY. I ALSO HOPE THAT I MIGHT HAVE THE CHANCE TO PICK YOU OUT OF A CROWD AND YELL WITH A LOUD STRONG VOICE AND SAY DAD BECAUSE THAT WILL MAKE ME VERY HAPPY ALSO. THE LAST WEEK DAD WE HAVE HAD BONNIE'S DAD NORMAN LIVING WITH US BECAUSE HE NEED'S CARE AND I REMEMBER THE DAYS WE CARED FOR YOU AND I KNOW YOU LOOK DOWN AND YOU ARE PROUD THAT I CAN ALSO HELP SOMEONE WHO NEEDS CARE. BONNIE SURE HAS LEARNED ALOT FROM THIS AND SURE DESERVES ALOT OF CREDIT BECAUSE AS YOU KNOW DAD IT'S ALOT TO LEARN WHEN YOU HAVE NEVER DONE IT BEFORE. I ALSO ASK DAD THAT YOU CAN HELP AND SUPPORT WITH LOVE FOR BONNIE WHEN IT GET'S TUFF AND SHOW GUIDANCE BECAUSE WE ALL NEED IT. MY LAST FAVOR DAD IS I STILL SEE MOM STRUGGLE AS EACH DAY GOES BY AND I REALLY DON'T THINK ANYONE REALLY KNOWS HOW MUCH I COUNT ON YOU FOR YOUR HELP BUT I'M ASKING YOU DAD PLEASE HELP MOM WITH ANY LOVE AND GUIDANCE YOU CAN SHOW AND AS I SEE IT I WILL KNOW DAD THAT YOU CAN HEAR AND FEEL MY THOUGHTS AS PART OF YOUR LIFE. WE ALL DAD IN OUR OWN WAYS NEED HELP AND GUIDANCE IN EVERYTHING WE DO IN LIFE SO I WILL NEVER BE ASHAMED TO ASK FOR IT. I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO ASK YOU TO SHOW TODD LOVE AND GUIDANCE AND CHAD HIS RIGHT HAND MAN LOVE AND GUIDANCE WITH MAKING THE RIGHT DECISIONS WITH WORK. DAD, TODD HAS TRIED VERY HARD TO HOLD THE COMPANY TOGETHER AND SOMETIMES THE DECISIONS MIGHT NOT BE THE RIGHT ONES WE HOPE FOR BUT WHAT'S GOOD FOR THE BEST OUTCOME TO HAPPEN. DAD, TODD DOESN'T NEED THE STRESS PAIN AND SUFFERING BUT HE DOES NEED YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT AND HELP ALONG THIS JOURNEY WITH THE COMPANY AND I KNOW DEEP DOWN DAD IF YOU CAN YOU WILL TRY YOUR BEST TO HELP. DAD IF I DIDN'T CARE I WOULDN'T ASK YOU FOR YOUR HELP, LOVE AND SUPPORT BUT I DO CARE AND I WILL NEVER TELL ANYONE THAT I HAVE ASKED YOU FOR THIS BUT YOU AND I WILL KEEP THIS AS OUR SECRET AND I WILL ONEDAY SEE CHANGES AND THINGS MAYBE FOR THE BEST STARTING TO HAPPEN AND I WILL KNOW DAD AND SO WILL YOU AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. WELL DAD I WILL SAY GOODNIGHT AND HOPE I DIDN'T GIVE YOU TO MUCH TO SLEEP ON BECAUSE I DIDN'T MEAN TO BUT I KNOW YOU WILL ALWAYS CARE AND THAT I WILL ALWAYS BE ABLE TO COUNT ON YOU AND IF ANYONE EVER ASKED HOW DO I KNOW YOU WILL HELP I CAN SAY PROUDLY BECAUSE YOU ARE MY DAD AND WILL ALWAYS BE MY DAD AND NOBODY AND I MEAN NOBODY WILL EVER TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME. THANK YOU DAD FOR LISTENING TO ME TONIGHT AND EVERY TIME WE TALK IT REALLY MEANS ALOT TO ME. LOVE YOU DAD ALWAYS AND FOREVER YOUR SON MARK.

HI DAD, THOUGHT I WOULD TAKE A MINUTE TONIGHT AND JUST SAY HELLO AND HOPE THINGS ARE GOING GOOD WITH YOU. I WILL TALK TO YOU REAL SOON BUT FOR TONIGHT JUST WANTED TO CHECK IN AND SAY HELLO. LOVE YOUR SON ALWAYS MARK.

HAPPY EASTER DAD, HAVE A REAL NICE DAY LOVE YOUR SON MARK AND FAMILY

HELLO DAD, HAPPY EASTER TO YOU. WELL TODAY IS EASTER AND BONNIE AND I AREN'T DOING MUCH TODAY. HOW IS YOUR EASTER GOING, I HOPE GOOD AND YOU ARE VISITING WITH ALOT OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE MISSED SEEING YOU. I JUST HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING VERY GOOD DAD AND I'M GETTING WORRIED AT TIMES BUT KEEP PUSHING FORWARD. I WEIGHED IN TODAY DAD AT 220.8 LBS. TODAY AND MORE TO COME I HOPE. WELL TODAY DAD I TOOK A PAGE FROM YOUR BOOK AND THAT IS I THREW A HARD BOILED EGG UP TO THE CEILING LIKE YOU DID BUT MY PROBLEM WAS IT WAS THE WRONG EGG AND IT WASN'T COOKED YET AND I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THE REST OF THE STORY. I THINK DAD THAT BONNIE WAS JUST A LITTLE MAD. WELL IT WAS FUNNY UNTIL I HAD TO HELP CLEAN UP I'LL REMEMBER NEXT TIME TO CHECK OR LIKE BONNIE SAID DO NOT DO IT AT ALL. WELL AS YOU KNOW DAD MOM FELL AT WORK AND BROKE HER NOSE AND HURT HER SELF PRETTY GOOD BUT WE THINK SHE WILL BE OKAY AFTER A FEW DAY'S OF REST WE HOPE SHE BETTER BECAUSE MOM IS GETTING EXCITED ABOUT GOING BACK TO OHIO THE FIRST OF JUNE. WELL DAD, IT JUST ISN'T THE SAME TODAY WITH YOU NOT AROUND AND I THINK THAT MAKES ME FEEL I JUST DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING OR ANYBODY AND I KNOW YOU WOULD BE UPSET WITH HOW I FEEL AND LIKE I TOLD YOU BEFORE I'M WORKING ON IT AND I PROMISE YOU THAT AND HOPE YOU WILL AND CAN BELIEVE ME BECAUSE I WILL IN TIME I PROMISE YOU THAT DAD. I WOULD NEVER TELL ANYONE HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT THINGS OR HEALTH WISE AS LONG AS YOU CAN SEE AND REALLY KNOW HOW IT IS THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS TO ME DAD. TONIGHT DAD BONNIE AND I ARE GOING TO WATCH THE MOVIE THE PASSION AND LAST NIGHT WE WATCHED THE TEN COMMANDMENTS. WE REALLY ENJOYED THE TEN COMMANDMENTS AND I KIND OF REMEMBER THE PASSION BUT WILL ENJOY IT ANYWAYS. DAD DO YOU REMEMBER WATCHING IT YOU,MOM,BONNIE AND I ONE NIGHT. I DO REMEMBER IT WAS A VERY POWERFUL MOVIE AND REALLY MAKES YOU STOP AND THINK AND IF IT DON'T IT REALLY SHOULD. WELL DAD I HOPE YOU HAVE THE REST OF YOUR EASTER A VERY NICE ONE AND PLEASE TELL EVERYONE WE SAY HI PLEASE. I WILL PROMISE YOU DAD I'M GOING TO WORK VERY HARD AT EVERYTHING I DO OR STILL WANT TO DO BECAUSE I'M NOT AFFRAID TO TELL YOU DAD THAT AT TIMES I'M REALLY SCARED AND DON'T WANT TO BE. I'M REALLY TRYING TO LOOSE WEIGHT,WALKING MUCH MORE AND I STILL SEEM TO HAVE TO TAKE MORE AND MORE PILLS DAD AND I'M REALLY SOMEDAYS TIRED OF IT BUT I'M REALLY GOING TO TRY EACH DAY TO MAKE THE BEST OF IT. I DO ASK DAD THAT YOU HELP ME SEE THE RIGHT WAY BECAUSE AS I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE I'M NOT READY YET TO THROW IN THE TOWEL YET AND STILL HAVE MY GOALS IN LIFE YET. I PROMISE I WILL WORK ON MY PROBLEMS DAD AND ALL I ASK IS IF YOU CAN AND WILL HELP ME. WELL DAD, IT'S ALMOST MOVIE TIME SO I WILL LET YOU GO AND ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR EASTER AND I WILL TALK AGAIN TO YOU REAL SOON AND REMEMBER DAD EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW AND I TELL YOU EACH TIME I LOVE AND WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. HAPPY EASTER DAD AND REMEMBER IT'S STILL NOT FAIR WE HAVE TO TALK THIS WAY BUT WE CAN MAKE THE BEST OF IT. WELL AGAIN DAD, HAPPY EASTER LOVE YOUR SON MARK. DAD, ONE THING I DON'T HAVE TO WORK ON AND THAT IS I WILL ALWAYS BE PROUD AND STAND TALL AND SAY YOU ARE MY DAD AND ALWAYS WILL BE. LOVE YOU DAD MARK.

HI DAD, HOW ARE YOU I'M OKAY AS YOU KNOW AND SAW THAT TIFFANY WAS IN TOWN AND SHE LEFT BACK TO SPOKANE WA. TIFFANY LEFT ON THURSDAY MARCH 30 AND THAT WAS SAD AGAIN FOR ME BUT I KNOW THAT TIFFANY IS GOING TO DO GOOD DAD AND I HOPE SHE COMES OUT ON TOP WHEN IT'S ALL OVER AND IT WAS WORTH IT. I DON'T HAVE ALOT GOING FOR ME ANYMORE DAD BUT I DO HAVE A GOOD FAMILY AND A SMART DAUGHTER IN COLLEGE AND WILL ALWAYS BE PROUD OF HER. I WAS ALSO PROUD OF WHITNEY BECAUSE SHE CAME AROUND AND SHOWED TIFFANY A GOOD TIME AND CAME AROUND SO DAD THE TALK WE HAD MUST OF WORKED AND BONNIE AND I THANK YOU FOR THAT AND I MEAN IT. NOTHING MUCH MORE GOING ON I'M STILL WORKING ON MY WEIGHT AND HEALTH ISSUES. YOU AND I AND BONNIE ARE THE ONLY ONES THAT WILL EVER KNOW DAD HOW MUCH SOME DAYS AND TIMES ARE REALLY A STRUGGLE BUT DAD I WILL NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT IT BECAUSE IT JUST MAKES ME DEPRESSED AND SOMETIMES I THINK IT'S NOT WORTH IT BUT I STILL HAVE THINGS WITH BONNIE TO DO AND WANT TO SEE WHITNEY AND TIFFANY BECOME SOMETHING IN MY TIME. WHEN YOU LEFT DAD I FEEL I HAVE LOST MY PLACE IN LIFE BUT I STILL MUST STAND TALL AND SEE MY FAMILY BECAUSE I NEED THEM AND THEY STILL NEED ME. I PROMISE YOU DAD THAT I WON'T GIVE UP AND HOLD MY HEAD UP EVEN THOUGH SOMEDAYS ARE REALLY HARD FOR ME AND SEEMS LIKE I HAVEN'T ACHIEVED MUCH. I WAS THINKING DAD THE OTHER NIGHT ABOUT WHEN I STARTED WORKING WITH YOU AT PROGRESSIVE LITHO REMEMBER DAD, IT SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY TO ME SOMETIMES AND I WONDER HOW AND WHY DID THE TIME GO BY SO FAST BUT IT SURE DID AND I MISS IT VERY MUCH SO. I KNOW DAD I DIDN'T REALLY GET TO TELL YOU THIS MUCH IN PERSON BUT I THINK YOU KNEW THIS AND I WOULD STILL DO IT AGAIN TODAY IF WE COULD BE BACK AGAIN. DAD, THESE WILL ALWAYS BE CHERRISHED IN MY THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS TILL THE DAY I DIE BUT SOMEDAY WE WILL TALK IN PERSON AND THIS TIME WE WILL BE ABLE TO BRING BACK GOOD MEMORIES ONCE AGAIN. I WISH SOMETIMES WE COULD WAKE UP AND JUST SAY THIS WAS A BAD DREAM AND ALL BE HAPPY AGAIN AND BE A FAMILY BUT I KNOW WE MUST KEEP GOING DAD BECAUSE THIS WAS THE WAY LIFE WAS DEALT TO US AND MUST MAKE THE BEST AND MOST OUT OF IT. DAD, LIKE WE HAVE TALKED BEFORE YOU CAN BE PROUD OF MOM AND YOU HAD GOOD SONS AND DAUGHTER AND NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS YOU CAN ALWAYS BE PROUD OF ALL OF THEM BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS CAME FIRST DAD AND I MEAN THAT AND AS A FAMILY WE WOULD AND WISH WE COULD STILL HELP YOU AND I MEAN THAT AND DAD DON'T YOU EVER THINK DIFFERENT BECAUSE WE ALL WOULD. WELL DAD WE DON'T ASK YOU MUCH YOUR PROBLEMS BUT I KNOW YOU ARE IN GOOD HANDS AND ONE DAY WE WILL ALL LOOK BACK AT THIS AND LAUGH ONCE AGAIN. WELL DAD UNTIL NEXT TIME WE TALK IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN MEDICINE TIME AND OFF TO BED AND START ANOTHER DAY AND HOPE FOR THE BEST. DAD, TAKE CARE AND HOPE THE BEST FOR YOU EACH AND EVERYDAY AND I WILL TALK TO YOU REAL SOON. GOODNIGHT DAD LOVE AND MISS YOU AS EACH DAY GOES BY MORE AND MORE YOUR SON MARK.

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT. I HOPE YOU ARE DOING AND FEELING GOOD TODAY. THE PAST 10 YEARS DAD SEEMED TO JUST GO BY BUT I KNOW IT SEEMED A LONG TIME WHEN YOU SUFFER AND STRUGGLE LIKE YOU HAD TO. TIME JUST SEEMS TO GO BY SO FAST AND THAT'S WHY THEY SAY ENJOY LIFE AS YOU CAN BECAUSE SOMEDAY ITS GONE AND UNFORTUNATLY YOU CAN'T BRING BACK TIME. I KNOW DAD YOU SURE WOULD OF LIKED TO ACHIEVE MORE IN LIFE AND I'M ALSO SURE YOU COULD OF DONE MORE WITH MOM AND FOR THAT DAD IT SURE WAS NOT FAIR THAT IT WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU THE WAY IT WAS. WE CAN ONLY ALL LEARN MORE FROM YOU AND HOW ALL OF THE SUDDEN IT CAN BE TAKEN AWAY SO FAST AND TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED IN LIFE AND MOST OF ALL MAKE THE BEST OF IT EACH DAY YOU ARE GIVEN. DAD, I CAN'T REALLY ACCEPT WHAT HAPPEND AND THAT MORNING OF JULY 12 I REALLY THOUGHT YOU WOULD COME OUT OF IT LIKE YOU HAD MANY TIMES BEFORE AND EVEN DAD UP TO YOUR LAST BREATH YOU TOOK THAT DAY I STILL HOPED AND WAITED FOR YOU TO SIT UP AND COME BACK AGAIN. YET DAD I STILL BELIEVE TO THIS DAY THAT MY CLEVELAND INDIANS IF ARE LOSING 10 - 0 IN THE BOTTOM OF THE 9TH WITH 2 - OUTS WOULD STILL HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN. I REALLY NEVER COULD ACCEPT DEFEAT VERY WELL EVEN IF THAT MEANS YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT. DAD, THAT DAY I WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY MIND AND WILL ALWAYS BE HARD FOR ME TO ACCEPT AND BETWEEN YOU AND I DAD I WILL NEVER ACCEPT IT EITHER NO MATTER HOW I TRY BECAUSE I WON'T. I REALLY NEVER WAS ABLE TO TELL YOU THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING AND ALL YOUR LOVE YOU GAVE DAD AND WHEN I WAS LITTLE YOU NEVER GAVE UP ON ME LIKE PEOPLE DO TODAY WHEN FACED WITH TUFF TASKS TO HANDLE IN LIFE BUT YOU DIDN'T DAD AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES YOU SPECIAL AND I WILL ALWAYS ASK YOU TO HELP AS I STILL TRY TO GO ALONG IN LIFE. I WILL NEVER BE ASHAMED OR AFFRAID TO ASK FOR YOUR LOVE OR YOUR GUIDANCEAS LONG AS I NEED IT. THE DAY YOU PAST AWAY DAD AND I CLOSED THE DOOR I HOPE AND BELIEVE YOU STILL COULD HERE ME WHEN I TALKED WITH YOU AND THANKED YOU AND SOMEDAY I HOPE YOU CAN TRY TO SHOW ME YOU DID BECAUSE IT MEANS ALOT TO ME THAT YOU DID HERE ME AND THAT YOU ALSO REALIZE THAT IF I COULD I WOULD STILL BE BY YOUR SIDE TODAY HELPING YOU TODAY BECAUSE YOU KNOW I WOULD. I WISH THAT MOM WOULD CALL UP DAD AND SAY MARK COULD YOU HELP WITH DAD TODAY AND I COULD WAKE UP FROM THIS BAD DREAM AND SAY SURE I WILL I'LL BE RIGHT OVER. WELL DAD TODAY TIFFANY CAME IN ON AMTRACK AND BONNIE AND I AND OH YA WE TOOK JUNIOR WITH US HE LOVED THE RIDE UP TO SHELBY. TIFFANY LOOKS GOOD AND IS HAPPY TO BE BACK. TIFFANY DESERVES A BREAK FROM SCHOOL BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN PUTTING ALOT OF TIME IN SCHOOL AND STUDYING AND IT SURE SHOWS IT'S PAYING OFF BECAUSE SHE HAS DONE VERY WELL AND HAS GOOD GRADES. THIS DAD HAS REALLY MADE US HAPPY AND HOPE IT ALL PAYS OFF IN THE END FOR TIFFANY. I SURE WOULD LIKE TO SEE TIFFANY COME OUT AND HAVE A GOOD JOB OUT OF IT IN THE END. WELL DAD TIFFANY IS ONLY IN TOWN FOR 6 DAYS SO WE WILL MAKE THE BEST OF HER STAY. I SURE WISH WHITNEY WOULD COME AROUND MORE AND WE COULD SPEND MORE TIME WITH HER AND WITH THAT DAD I ASK FOR HELP THAT YOU COULD HELP WHITNEY SEE THIS AND START TO REALIZE THAT WE ARE HERE TODAY BUT WE NEVER CAN PREDICT WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN LATER DOWN THE ROAD. WHITNEY DAD IS REALLY A GOOD HEARTED KID AND MEANS WELL BUT I THINK LIKE ALL OF US THAT WE TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED AND NEVER THINK THINGS CAN HAPPEN AND THEN IT'S TO LATE AND WE ALL ASK WHY DID IT HAVE TO HAPPEN AND IT'S NOT FAIR. I THINK THAT IN TIME WHITNEY WILL COME AROUND AND REALIZE WE ONLY LIVE ONCE AND THAT TIME DOES GO BY FAST. I CAN ONLY HOPE AND WISH FOR THIS TO HAPPEN AND WITH YOUR HELP DAD I THINK IT WILL HAPPEN ONE DAY. WELL DAD IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN TIME TO TAKE MY MEDICINE AGAIN. I'M STILL WATCHING MY WEIGHT AND AS OF THIS MORNING I WEIGHED IN AT 224 LBS. AND THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD. I HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING VERY GOOD DAD, I'M STILL HAVING TROUBLE WITH MY HEART BEATING SO FAST AND NOW WE ARE WATCHING MY LIVER IT'S NOT ACTING AND RESPONDING THE RIGHT WAY. MY EYES ARE ALSO BEEN GIVING ME SOME REAL TROUBLE. DAD I'M NOT READY TO THROW IN THE TOWEL YET BUT BETWEEN YOU AND I IT BECOMES HARDER AND HARDER EACH TIME A NEW PROBLEM ACTS UP AND IT MAKES IT TUFF TO BELIEVE IT WILL GET BETTER. WELL DAD AS YOU JUST SAW I WAS ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP AND TONIGHT I COULD USE A GOOD NIGHT'S REST. WELL UNTIL WE TALK AGAIN MISS AND LOVE YOU DAD ALWAYS AND FOREVER YOUR SON MARK.

HI DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT I HOPE YOU ARE DOING WELL. I'M DOING OKAY DAD YOU SEE THAT I REALLY STRUGGLE AT TIMES AND I'M GLADE YOU CAN SEE THIS BECAUSE WHEN I ASK YOU TO HELP AND TO GUIDE ME I KNOW YOU WILL. I'M GOING THROUGH ALOT OF BLOOD TESTS AND DOCTOR VISITS RIGHT NOW AND HOPE THAT IT WILL PAY OFF FOR ME. SOMEDAYS DAD I THINK MY DAYS ARE GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO BE WITH YOU BUT AS YOU KNOW DAD I STILL HAVE GOALS AND THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO DO AND BE PART OF BUT I'M NOT AFFRAID DAD TO SEE OR BE WITH YOU AGAIN BUT NOT YET AND THAT'S WHY I NEED YOUR HELP WITH THESE TUFF DAYS I SEEM TO HAVE AND JUST CAN'T SHAKE. I LOOK AT YOUR PICTURE AT NIGHT AND CAN'T HELP BUT THINK IF I WOULD OF ONLY LISTENED TO YOU AND WENT TO THE DOCTORS AND WATCHED MY WEIGHT BUT I DIDN'T AND I THOUGHT I KNEW BETTER. I'M NOT A BAD PERSON DAD AND I HOPE THAT THE PERSON UPSTAIRS GOD CAN SEE THAT AND MAYBE GIVE ME A SECOND CHANCE BECAUSE I WOULD TRY REAL HARD TO DO THINGS DIFFERNT IN MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER. WELL DAD MAYBE ONE NIGHT WE CAN TALK ABOUT GOOD AND HAPPY CHANGES THAT WOULD BE SO GOOD. ONE GOOD THING IS DAD THAT I HAVE STILL BEEN DOING GOOD WITH MY WEIGHT I'M NOW AT 227.4 LBS. AS OF THIS MORNING AROUND 7.30 A.M. AND THAT TO ME IS REAL GOOD NEWS. MY DOCTOR GAVE ME A GOOD LAUGH DAD SHE WENT TO GRABE MY JEANS FROM THE BACK AND SAID I CAN'T FIND YOU MEANING I HAVE REALLY LOST WEIGHT AND I TURNED AND GAVE HER A BIG HUG AND SAID I NEEDED THAT TODAY. WELL WORK HAS BEEN GOING PRETTY GOOD ALSO DAD I'M TRYING TO LEARN THE FED EX. THE THING IS JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU HAVE IT YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW. ALL IN ALL IT CAN BE FUN AND YOU CAN LEARN AND THAT'S GOOD. I'M STARTING TO FEEL BETTER EACH DAY BEING IN YOUR OFFICE AND HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY TO SEE ME IN YOUR OFFICE. DAD, DON'T GET ME WRONG YOU WOULD BY FAR LOOK BETTER SITTING IN YOUR OFFICE FOR SURE. THAT'S THE WAY IT SHOULD BE NOT THE WAY IT IS TODAY IF I COULD CHANGE IT FOR YOU DAD I REALLY WOULD. I DID BEAT YOU IN ONE RESPECT DAD, HOW DOES DAISY LOOK IN THE OFFICE WITH ME SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE SHE REALLY BELONGS DON'T SHE DAD.THANK YOU DAD BECAUSE I DO FEEL YOUR PRESENCE AND KNOW IT MAKES YOU HAPPY SEEING DAISY AND I USE YOUR OFFICE. WELL DAD IT'S MY MEDICINE TIME AND GETTING READY TO TAKE JUNIOR OUT FOR THE NIGHT IT'S GETTING CLOSE TO BED TIME SO UNTIL NEXT TIME WE TALK LOVE AND MISS YOU DAD. P.S. DAD I KNOW YOU KNOW THIS BUT I STILL FEEL GOOD TELLING YOU ANYTIME THAT I CAN OR FEEL LIKE SAYING IT AND I WILL NEVER FEEL OR THINK ANY DIFFERENT. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

Hi Dave, that's what we had to call you while down at work, and I'm down at work. I came to check on the melting snow and ice from the rooftop and it looks like the offices are safe for now. This week we had to rent a 45ft manlift to do some snow removal and icicle breaking. The time, effort and investment has paid off. We are still here, World Wide that is. Todd has been looking into bingo bottle production again and possibly jar tickets, the way we looked at it with you through color copies. The pack and ship store opened and we will start marketing it next week. Mark and Daisy are now in your office, it was hard making the transition and moving out your things but we kept our chins up and know that you'd love Mark being the occupant, and Daisy of course. I've been struggling with my weight as well and try to leave from 11 to 1 for my exercise. It's hard leaving when before we always had to be around in case you needed something. Things are alot different now and we are all trying to figure out our places and our futures. Keep your eye on us and we will continue to pray, reminding God of all the good things he has promised to be in our future! Feel free to help us in reminding him.

P.S. Mom struggles but is making the best of things. She has joined curves and is working part time. Please help her figure things out as well. She always relied upon your advice and insight.

HI DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT I'M DOING OKAY I GUESS. I'M STILL SAD ABOUT SLED AS YOU KNOW IT'S HARD WHEN YOU GET ATTACHED AND MUST SAY GOODBYE TO SOMETHING YOU LOVE AND CARE FOR AS YOU KNOW DAD. I HOPE YOU FIND SLED FOR ME AND CAN TAKE CARE AND BE PART OF SLED'S NEW LIFE. I WISH AND HOPE DAD THAT YOU CAN SHOW HIM THE RIGHT PATH AND SOMEDAY DAD I CAN CATCH BACK UP WITH SLED. I KNOW DAD WE DIDN'T HAVE PETS GROWING UP BUT IT REALLY WAS NICE HAVING SLED AROUND AND I KNOW YOU WOULD OF CARED FOR HIM ALSO. WELL DAD GIVE SLED A HUGE FOR ME AND REMEMBER DAD SLED LOVES TREATS HE WILL BE YOUR FRIEND FOR LIFE IF YOU CAN FIND HIM A TREAT. I'M STILL LOOSING WEIGHT DAD I'M DOWN TO 231LBS. I JUST WISH DAD I WOULD OF TAKEN THE TIME AND LISTEN TO YOU WHEN YOU TOLD ME WATCH YOUR WEIGHT AND GO TO THE DOCTOR SOONER THAN I DID BUT OF COURSE DAD I THAT I KNEW BEST AND TODAY I'M PAYING FOR IT NOW. SOMETIMES I FEEL PRETTY GOOD AND OTHER DAYS DAD IT FEELS LIKE IT WON'T BE SOON THAT I'LL BE BACK WITH YOU AGAIN. DAD I'M REALLY SCARED ABOUT DYING AND I'M NOT READY YET TO CALL IT QUITES. I HOPE DAD YOU CAN HELP AND GUIDE ME BECAUSE I STILL HAVE GOALS AND IDEAS YET AND WOULD LIKE TO BE WITH MY FAMILY. I KNOW DAD THAT YOU STILL HAD GOALS AND IDEAS LEFT AND NO IT WASN'T FAIR THAT IT WAS YOUR TIME TO GO BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS BE A GOOD MAN AND WE WILL ALWAYS BE PROUD OF YOU AND LIKE I TOLD YOU MANY TIMES I'M SO PROUD TO CALL YOU MY DAD. I STILL DAD WANT TO ENJOY LIFE AND HAVE FUN SO I PROMISE TO WATCH MY WEIGHT AND TAKE CARE OF MYSELF SO THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME I HAVE LEFT I WILL ENJOY WHAT'S LEFT. I HOPE DAD THINGS ARE GOOD FOR YOU AND YOU CAN ENJOY YOUR NEW LIFE WITH ALL YOUR LOVED ONES YOU HAVE MISSED FOR MANY YEARS. I WOULD ALSO ASK YOU DAD TO PLEASE GIVE GRANDMA AND GRANDPA MY LOVE AND I DO MISS THEM ALSO. GRANDMA AND GRANDPA I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO TELL OR SHOW HOW MUCH I APPRECIATED WHAT THEY DID FOR ME WHEN I WAS YOUNGER ALL THERE HELP AND LOVE THEY GAVE ME DAD AND I WILL NEVER FORGET THEM FOR THAT. DAD I WISH ONE DAY WE CAN ALL BE TOGETHER AGAIN AND LAUGH AND BRING BACK ALL THE FUN WE HAD AND SHARE ALL OUR LOVE AGAIN. I HOPE DAD YOU CAN HELP ME BE A BETTER MAN, HUSBAND AND FRIEND AND ALSO A BETTER FATHER SO THAT WHEN MY DAUGHTERS NEED MY HELP I WILL BE THERE FOR WHITNEY AND TIFFANY OH AND LET'S NOT FORGET JUNIOR HE IS MY SON DAD. I REALLY WISH AND HOPE DAD I CAN STILL BE BETTER AND I CAN STILL HAVE TIME TO SHOW IT FOR MYSELF AND MY FAMILY. WELL DAD I WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON AND I HOPE WE CAN TALK ABOUT HAPPY THINGS AND THINGS WILL GET BETTER SO UNTIL THEN DAD I MISS AND LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. YOUR SON MARK

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING I HOPE BETTER THAN I'M DOING. WELL AS YOU KNOW DAD SLED HAS BEEN SICK THE PAST WEEK AND I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST GOING TO BE THE FLU BUT ON FRIDAY FEB.12 AROUND 9:00 A.M. SLED WAS PUT TO SLEEP AT THE VETS OFFICE WE FOUND OUT THAT SLED HAD CANCER AND HIS TUMOR WAS LARGE AROUND HIS STOMACH AREA. I GUESS THAT ANSWERED WHY HE WOULDN'T EAT MUCH IN THE LAST WEEK OR SO. DAD, SLED REMINDED ME SO MUCH OF YOU HE HAD CANCER AND LOST HIS APPETITE AND BECAME VERY WEEK HE WAS ALSO 70 YEARS OLD DAD JUST LIKE YOU. WE HAVE HAD SLED AS PART OF MY FAMILY FOR 101/2 YEARS HE WAS MY FAMILY. I HAVE NEVER HAD A PET LIKE THIS DAD AS YOU KNOW SO I DIDN'T KNOW HOW IT WOULD EFFECT ME BUT I CAN TELL YOU DAD IT REALLY HURT ME INSIDE VERY MUCH AND YES MAN TO MAN I DID CRY AND STILL DO AT TIMES. I WISH IF SLED HAD ANOTHER CHANCE I COULD OF DONE THINGS DIFFERENT AND WITH SLED MORE. WELL WE ALL TRIED DAD TO GIVE SLED THE BEST LIFE WE COULD AND WE ALL CAN DO BETTER BUT I THINK WE DID THE BEST WE COULD. I KNOW THIS DAD 10+ YEARS SURE WENT FAST FOR US AND SLED AND WE MUST ALL LEARN TO ENJOY LIFE AS WE ALL CAN BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU JUST DON'T GET 2ND CHANCES IN LIFE. I GUESS WE ALL TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED AND SOMETIMES YOU COME UP SHORT AND NEVER THINK THE UNEXPECTED THINGS IN LIFE WILL AND CAN HAPPEN. SLED WAS MY FRIEND DAD AND HE WILL ALWAYS BE A PART OF MY HEART AND I WILL THINK ABOUT HIM AND ALL THE THINGS HE AND WE USED TO DO BUT I KNOW THAT HE HIS GONE AND I HOPE HE IS IN A BETTER PLACE AND SLED IS ALSO PAIN FREE. THEY SAY DAD THAT DOG'S DO GO TO HEAVEN ALSO SO IF THAT IS TRUE AND I HOPE IT IS TRUE I HOPE YOU CAN HELP GUIDE AND TAKE CARE OF SLED FOR ME UNTIL THE DAY I CAN SEE HIM AGAIN. WELL WE HAVE JUNIOR AND I'M GOING TO REALLY TRY TO DO THINGS BETTER FOR HIM AND AS I DO IT I WILL ALWAYS KEEP SLED AS PART OF MY DECISIONS AND CHOICES I MAKE AND ALWAYS WISH SLED WAS PART OF THE FUN WITH JUNIOR JUST LIKE IT WAS. I CAN'T BRING BACK YESTERDAY BUT NOBODY CAN TAKE ALL THE HAPPINESS AND MEMORIES WE ALL CAN SHARE AND THAT I CAN PROMISE YOU. WELL DAD I WILL TALK AGAIN THIS WAS ALITTLE INTENSE FOR ME AND DON'T HAVE MUCH TO SAY BECAUSE I'M STILL UPSET BUT I KNOW IF YOU CAN HELP ME YOU WILL AND I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE MY DAD KNOW MATTER HOW OLD I AM THAT WILL ALWAYS BE THE TRUTH AND THAT NOBODY CAN TAKE AWAY FROM ME. AS YOU KNOW DAD I WILL ALWAYS MISS AND LOVE YOU VERY MUCH OH BYE THE WAY IF YOU SEE SLED SEND HIM MY AND MY FAMILY OUR LOVE AND DAD HINT HINT HINT SLED LOVES TREATS AND PRETZELS. LOVE YOU DAD YOUR SON MARK.

HI DAD, IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE WE HAVE TALKED. I HOPE YOU HAVE MISSED OUR TALKS BECAUSE I HAVE. WELL TODAY WAS A SAD DAY DAD AS YOU KNOW AUNT AUDREY HAS PASSED AWAY AND I HOPE YOU WILL VISIT AND TALK WITH AUNT AUDREY BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU CAN MAKE PEOPLE LISTEN. I FEEL BAD FOR CINDY AND HER FAMILY I KNOW HOW WE ALL FELT AND STILL FEEL ABOUT YOU DAD. TODAY WAS ALSO OUR FIRST DAY OF HAVING OUR FEDEX STORE AND I KNOW YOU CAN SEE IT BECAUSE I CAN FEEL YOUR PRESENCE AROUND US AT TIMES. I THINK MOM HAD AS GOOD OF A BIRTHDAY AS YOU COULD DAD BUT I KNOW AND STILL SEE SHE HURTS INSIDE AND AS WE ALL WISH YOU COULD BE PART OF OUR EVERYDAY LIVES EVEN THOUGH I STILL ALWAYS THINK ABOUT YOU DAD AND WONDER WHAT YOU ARE DOING. I WILL TELL YOU THIS DAD IF YOU CALLED ME TOMORROW TO COME OVER AND HELP AGAIN I WOULD BE AS HAPPY AS A LITTLE BABY AND I PROMISE YOU THAT. IF IT HELPS AT ALL I STILL KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOUR BREAKFAST'S AND GIVE GOOD BATH'S IF YOU ARE INTERESTED DAD I'M JUST A CALL AWAY AND YOU KNOW I WOULD BE RIGHT OVER. WELL DAD LET'S STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS BECAUSE I'M REALLY GETTING SAD AGAIN AND I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY IN YOUR NEW LIFE AND IF YOU SEE ME GETTING UPSET I KNOW THAT WILL MAKE YOU UPSET AND THAT'S THE LAST THING I WANT TO HAPPEN. IF I REALLY KNEW YOU ARE HAPPY AND I WISH IF YOU COULD JUST SOMEHOW SHOW ME IT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY INSIDE. I DOESN'T MAKE ME HAPPY THAT I CAN'T SEE YOU BUT IT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY TO KNOW THAT YOU CAN BE HAPPY ONCE AGAIN. I STILL CAN'T IMAGINE HOW IT FELT FOR YOU WHEN YOU GOT TO SEE YOUR PARENTS ONCE AGAIN GRANDMA AND GRANDPA I STILL MISS THEM VERY MUCH ALSO DAD, YOU KNOW BETTER THAN ANYBODY HOW CLOSE I WAS TO THEM. DAD, EVEN IF YOU COULD TELL ME HOW IT FELT AND HOW IT FEELS AND WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO TELL ME BECAUSE THE DAY I MEET YOU AGAIN I DON'T WANT TO RUIN THAT EXCITEMENT I WANT TO HAVE THAT SAME FEELING YOU HAD AND HAVE TODAY. WELL DAD IT'S GETTING LATE AND I'M GETTING TIRED AND MUST TAKE MY MEDICINE KNOW SO WE WILL TALK AGAIN SOON GOODNIGHT DAD AND REST IN PEACE I LOVE YOU DAD AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND MOST OF ALL BE PROUD YOU ARE STILL MY FATHER LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HELLO DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT I'M DOING OK. WELL THE BIG NEWS IS THAT DAISY IS BACK AS YOU CAN SEE AND I'M REALLY HAPPY. DAD YOU CAN GET ATTACHED TO HER REALLY EASY DAISY MAKES MY DAY GOING DOWN TO WORK EACH DAY. WELL HOW IS IT GOING WITH YOU, I BET IF YOU COULD YOU COULD TELL ALL OF US ALOT ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND WHAT GOES ON EACH DAY. I DON'T THINK HOW STRONG YOUR FAITH IS PEOPLE LIKE MYSELF WILL ALWAYS WONDER AND ASK MANY QUESTIONS. I WILL ALWAYS WONDER DAD FROM DAY TO DAY WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND ALWAYS HOPE YOU WILL STILL HELP ME BECOME STRONGER EACH DAY AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND BECAUSE IT'S STILL VERY HARD FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT OR TALK ABOUT YESTERDAY WITHOUT BREAKING DOWN AND CRYING. THE LAST COUPLE OF NIGHTS DAD I HAVE'NT FELT SO GOOD AND I HAVE REALLY BEEN WORKING ON MY WEIGHT AS YOU SEE. I HAVE AS OF TODAY DAD GONE FROM 263LBS. DOWN TO 236LBS AND STILL WORKING ON IT. I NOT READY DAD TO CALL IT QUITS YET I WANT TO STILL BE AROUND MY FAMILY AND SEE MY KIDS SEE IT THROUGH THERE LIFES. THIS WAS SURE A GOOD WAKE UP CALL FOR ME AND THINK IF I DIDN'T HAVE STARTED I WOULD OF BEEN IN SERIUS TROUBLE. I SURE WISH I WOULD OF STARTED SOONER WHEN YOU STARTED TO TELL ME YOU WOULD OF BEEN PART OF IT. WELL DAD I DID BEGIN TAKING IT SERIOUS AND JUST HOPE I DIDN'T WAIT TO LONG. DAD, THIS TIME I NEED A BREAK IN MY LIFE AND HOPE SOMEONE IS WATCHING OVER ME. I DO WITH ALL MY HEART BELIEVE YOU ARE BECAUSE YOU CARE AND THE BIGGEST REASON IS YOU ARE AND WILL ALWAYS BE MY DAD. I WILL SAY IT AGAIN AND ALWAYS SAY IT I WILL ALWAYS BE PROUD TO CALL YOU MY DAD, AND NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE THAT. WELL DAD, WE WILL TALK AGAIN AND I WILL LET YOU KNOW HOW MY WEIGHT IS COMING ALONG AND HOPE IT WILL KEEP COMING DOWN BECAUSE I DO WANT TO FEEL BETTER AND HAVE MY LIFE BACK AND TRY TO HAVE FUN STILL. I DO DAD STILL HAVE GOALS AND PLANS YET TO SEE THROUGH I JUST HOPE I GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO THEM. WELL UNTIL WE TALK AGAIN DAD ALWAYS MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND LOVE YOU LOVE YOUR SON MARK GOODNIGHT DAD AND WILL TALK SOON I PROMISE YOU.

HI DAD, HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU WOULD BE 71 YEARS YOUNG TODAY. I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD BIRTHDAY AND ENJOYING WHAT YOU ARE DOING TODAY. I WENT OVER THIS AFTERNOON TO YOUR HOUSE AS YOU SAW AND STARTED TAKING DOWN XMAS DECORATIONS OUTSIDE IT WAS SAD FOR ME BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT AT HOME. I'M GLADE THAT I WAS BY MYSELF TODAY SO THAT I COULD THINK MORE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR BIRTHDAY. I STILL TELL MYSELF DAD THAT YOU ARE STILL AT HOME AND AT WORK BUT I CAN'T FIND YOU AND THEN I REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE PASSED AWAY AND I STILL HAVE TROUBLE WITH THIS BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO ACCEPT IT. WELL DAD I HOPE IT'S ALL WORKING OUT FOR YOU AND YOU ARE SAYING MARK PLEASE DON'T WORRY BECAUSE I'M OKAY AND ALL YOU NEED IS MY LOVE AND PRAYERS BECAUSE THAT MEANS ALOT TO ME UNDERSTANDING THAT YOU ARE DOING OKAY. DAD LET'S NOT BE SAD TONIGHT SO THAT YOU CAN REALLY ENJOY YOUR BIRTHDAY AND NOT HAVE ANY WORRIES ON YOUR SPECIAL DAY AND NIGHT. TODAY DAD AT YOUR HOUSE YOU SAW I WAS SAD AND DID START TO CRY BUT I PROMISE YOU DAD IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU CAN PROMISE ME THAT YOU REALLY ARE AND ARE BETTER OFF THAN I CAN TRY AND REALLY WORK ON BEING HAPPY FOR YOU BUT I NEED YOU TO REALLY HELP ME BELIEVE THIS IS TRUE. WELL DAD LETS LEAVE TONIGHT WITH LOVING AND HAPPY THOUGHTS AND LET YOU ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I PROMISE WE WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON. OH BYE THE WAY YOUR XMAS VILLAGE REALLY STILL LOOKS GOOD AND HOPED YOU ENJOYED LOOKING AT IT LIKE YOU HAVE ALWAYS ENJOYED BEING PART OF IT BECAUSE IT REALLY IS NICE. GOODNIGHT DAD AND REMEMBER I HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL LOVE YOU AND WILL ALWAYS STAND UP AND SAY I'M PROUD YOU ARE MY DAD. LOVE YOU DAD AND AS YOU CAN SEE I MISS YOU VERY MUCH. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HAPPY NEW YEARS DAD, IT'S NEW YEAR'S EVE AND I JUST REALIZED THAT I WON'TBE MAKING MY TRADITIONAL WEEINEES FOR YOU TONIGHT WHEN BONNIE AND I CAME OVER TO CELEBRATE NEW YEAR'S EVE WITH YOU AND MOM. DAD THIS YEAR I'M NOT REALLY HAPPY AND NOBODY CAN MAKE ME HAPPY I WILL JUST HAVE TO GET OVER THIS AND START DEALING WITH LIFE IT'S GOING TO TAKE ME SOMETIME IF EVER AT ALL BECAUSE RIGHT NOW I CAN'T I TELL OTHERS I'M DOING OKAY AND TRY NOT TO SHOW IT BUT I JUST CAN'T DO IT. WELL AS YOU KNOW DAD TIFFANY CAME HOME ON AMTRACK AND REALLY LIKED IT LIKE WE DID WHEN WE ALL WENT ON IT AS A FAMILY BACK TO OHIO SOMEDAY BONNIE AND I WOULD LIKE TO TRAVEL AND GO ON AMTRACK I THINK IT WOULD BE GREAT. WE PICKED TIFFANY UP IN SHELBY AND THE WEATHER WAS GOOD ON DECEMBER 14 THAT DAY BUT TAKING TIFFANY BACK ON DECEMBER 29 THE WEATHER WAS REALLY BAD AS YOU COULD SEE WE MADE IT SAFE BUT IT WAS REALLY COLD AND SNOW AND BLOWING SNOW THE WHOLE WAY IT TOOK ABOUT A GOOD HOUR LONGER THAN USUAL. I WAS REALLY SAD THAT DAY SAYING GOODBYE TO TIFFANY I CAN IMAGINE HOW YOU AND MOM FELT AS US KIDS GROWING UP AND EACH LEAVING THE HOUSE HOW YOU MUST OF FELT BECAUSE IT HURT'S EVER MUCH SO. WE DID THOUGH HAVE A GOOD HOLIDAY AND ENJOYED IT AS MUCH AS WE COULD THIS YEAR. DAD I DID GET A CALL TODAY FROM UNCLE RICKY SAYING HE REALLY ENJOYED WATCHING THE MOVIE WE MADE CHAD AND I AND THAT MADE ME FEEL REALLY GOOD THAT IT WAS A SUCCESS AND IT TURNED OUT. WELL I HOPE THIS YEAR DAD 2011 IS A GOOD ONE FOR ALL OF US WE ALL DESERVE IT AFTER ALL WE HAVE GONE THROUGH AND COULD HAVE SOME HAPPINESS FOR A CHANGE. WELL DAD, I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD NEW YEAR ALSO AND MAYBE I WILL BE IN TOUCH ON NEW YEARS DAY WITH YOU AND TALK SO FOR NOW DAD I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU HOW I REALLY FEEL BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE EACH DAY HOW I FEEL AND SEE HOW I CAN STUGGLE BUT WE WILL MAKE IT AND IF YOU CAN HELP ME I WILL TRY TO HELP YOU WHEN I PRAY TO AND FOR YOU WHEN AND AS MUCH AS I CAN FOR YOU. WELL GOODNIGHT FOR NOW DAD AND AS THE NEW YEAR COMES IN TONIGHT I WILL BE THINKING AND WILL REMEMBER EVERYTHING WE DID AS IT WAS LIKE YESTERDAY. LOVE YOU DAD AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH YOUR SON MARK.

MERRY XMAS DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING DAD WE JUST HAD XMAS WITH BONNIE, WHITNEY, BRYAN, AND TIFFANY AND HOW COULD WE FORGET SLED AND JUNIOR. WELL DAD THIS YEAR IS REALLY DIFFERENT FOR ALL OF US AND IF YOU WOULD OF TOLD ME A YEAR AGO XMAS TIME YOU WOULD NOT BE WITH US THIS YEAR I WOULD OF NEVER BELIEVED IT AT ALL. I FOUND IT HARD LAST NIGHT AND THIS MORNING TO TELL MYSELF THAT YOU WOULD NOT BE WITH US THIS YEAR AND I CAN'T FIND THE WORDS THAT EXPLAINS HOW I FEEL INSIDE RIGHT NOW. I TRY TO TELL MYSELF YOU ARE HAPPIER AND YOU ARE LOOKING DOWN SAYING DON'T BE SAD BUT IT REALLY HURTS INSIDE OF ME TO THINK THIS. I REALIZE THAT WHEN YOU LOOSE SOMETHING OR SOMEONE YOU LOVE VERY MUCH IT VERY HARD AND TAKES TIME TO HEAL IF AT ALL. WELL DAD I REALLY LIKE HOW YOUR XMAS VILLAGE LOOKS THIS YEAR. LATER WE WILL GET READY TO GO TO YOUR HOUSE FOR XMAS LIKE WE DO EACH XMAS AND I REALLY WISH I COULD BE WITH YOU AGAIN AND SAY MERRY XMAS AND BRING BACK YESTERDAY AND ALL THE LAUGHS AND GOOD TIMES WE SHARED AND THIS YEAR WILL REALLY BE HARD FOR ME AS I'M SURE FOR OTHERS. I WONDER IF SANTA WILL SHOW UP THIS YEAR I'M SURE YOU KNOW BUT WE WILL KEEP IT A SECRET AND NOT TELL ANYONE. I GUESS DAD WE WILL ALL LEARN AS I SURE WILL FROM THIS POINT ON THAT WE MUST ENJOY ALL THE TIMES WE STILL HAVE TO BE WITH FAMILY AND OTHERS BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN IT MIGHT BE THE LAST AND WANT TO CHERRISH ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE HAVE HAD AND STILL CAN SHARE AND HAVE WITH LIFE BECAUSE AS WE SAW IT GOES BY SO FAST AND THEN IT'S TO LATE AND THEN IT'S OVER AND WE WISH AS I DO TODAY THAT YOU COULD DO THINGS OVER AND HAVE 2ND CHANCES IN LIFE BUT WE DON'T ALWAYS GET THEM AND HAVE TO LIVE WITH WHAT HAPPENS. WELL DAD WE SHOULD BOTH ENJOY TODAY AND BE HAPPY WITH WHAT WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN AND SHARE WITH OTHERS WHAT WE HAVE TODAY DAD I WILL MISS AND LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND KEEP PLAYING OVER AND OVER IN MY MIND AND HEART ALL THAT WE SHARED AND REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD AND SHARED. THE DAY I HAD TO SAY GOODBYE TO YOU WAS VERY HARD FOR ME AND WISH I COULD OF SAID THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU DID FOR ME AND OTHERS AND I WASN'T ABLE TO DO THAT IN A PROPER WAY BUT I HOPE YOU DO KNOW I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME AS MY LOVING FATHER AND MY BEST FRIEND AND I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU OR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME AS LONG AS I LIVE AND CAN CHERRISH ALL MY THOUGHTS. DAD, TODAY AND EVERYDAY IS HARD AND MAYBE WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER MAKE IT THROUGH THESE HARD DAYS. TODAY DAD WE WILL EACH BE WITH OUR FAMILIES YOU WITH YOUR NEW LIFE AND ME WITH MY FAMILY AND TRY TO BUILD ON THIS. DAD, I HOPE YOU HAVE A REAL GOOD XMAS AND KEEP US ALL IN YOUR THOUGHTS AND WE WILL PRAY FOR YOU AND YOUR NEW LIFE. WELL DAD I'M GOING TO GET READY FOR TODAY AND BE THINKING OF YOU ALL DAY AND I HOPE YOU WILL DO THE SAME FOR ALL OF US AND WATCH OVER ALL OF US MOM DOES REALLY MISS YOU DAD SO MAYBE YOU CAN HELP AND GUIDE MOM AND HELP MOM SEE YOU ARE HAPPY AND IN A BETTER PLACE. WELL I WILL SAY GOODBYE FOR NOW AND ENJOY YOUR DAY AS WE WILL TRY TO DO THE SAME. MERRY XMAS DAD AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH LOVE YOUR SON MARK.

HELLO DAD, AND MERRY XMAS TO YOU. IT'S NOT RIGHT DAD THAT WE MUST HAVE XMAS LIKE THIS BUT I GUESS WE HAVE NO CHOICE THIS YEAR. IT ALL STARTED WATCHING OUR SUCH I MOVIE ON THURSDAY NIGHT AT CHAD AND KATHY'S HOUSE DAD WE HAD EVERYBODY SHOW UP AND THIS MOVIE WAS A HIT EVERYBODY REALLY LIKED IT AND WE MADE COPIES FOR EVERYONE. THIS MOVIE CHAD AND I WORKED ON REALLY PAID OFF AND I REALLY MEAN IT THIS MOVIE WAS REALLY GOOD. UNCLE RICKY EVEN WAS GIVEN A COPY AND HE CALLED AND SAID IT WAS REALLY GOOD. I REALLY HOPE THAT YOU ALSO COULD SEE IT AND REALLY LIKED IT BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT DAD YOU ARE THE STAR IN THIS SHOW. WELL DAD IT'S 1:00 AM XMAS MORNING AND I WANTED TO SAY MERRY XMAS TO YOU AND REALLY WISH YOU WERE WITH US THIS XMAS IS NOT THE SAME AND I'M NOT EXCITED THIS YEAR. I'M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU DAD BUT I'M STILL HAVING A HARD TIME AND REALLY NEED YOU TO HELP ME THROUGH THIS. I REALLY WANT TO THINK THAT EVERYTHING IS OK FOR YOU BUT I'M STILL VERY SAD AND STILL CRY MANY NIGHTS AND DAYS. DAD I'M GOING TO SAY GOODNIGHT AND WILL TSLK TO YOU IN THE MORNING BECAUSE I'M REALLY TIRED TONIGHT AND WOULD LIKE TO GET TO BED BEFORE SANTA COMES. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HI DAD, HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT. I'M OKAY AS YOU SEE WE PICKED UP TIFFANY FROM SHELBY YESTERDAY FROM AMTRACK. TIFFANY IS FINALLY HOME FOR XMAS AND BONNIE AND I ARE REALLY HAPPY. I REALLY MISS TIFFANY DAD AS YOU CAN TELL AND I'M REALLY GLADE SHE MADE IT SAFE FOR THE HOLIDAYS. CHAD AND I ARE GETTING REAL CLOSE WITH THE MOVIE WE HAVE BEEN WORKING ON SO LONG.I HOPE EVERYONE REALLY ENJOYS IT BECAUSE CHAD AND I DO. WELL TODAY MOM CALLED AND TOLD US THE BAD NEWS ABOUT UNCLE JOHN PASSING AWAY THAT REALLY IS SAD ESPECIALLY AT THE HOLIDAYS. WELL THE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU DAD IS THAT YOU HAVE FAMILY AROUND YOU ALSO AND THAT MUST FEEL GOOD YOU ARE WITH PEOPLE YOU LOVE AND HAVE SHARED MUCH TIME AND HAPPINESS WITH IN YOUR LIFE TIME. WE ARE ALL GOING TO NEED YOUR SUPPORT AND LOVE AS YOU WILL NEED FROM US DAD BUT WE MUST TRY REALLY HARD TO GET THROUGH THESE TUFF TIMES WE WILL ALL HAVE. WE MUST NOW SHOW OUR FAMILY SUPPORT AND LOVE FOR US ALL DAD AND WE WILL COUNT ON YOU TO HELP GUIDE LOVE AND SHOW US THE RIGHT WAY DAD. WELL DAD WE WILL TALK AGAIN VERY SOON BECAUSE XMAS IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER AND I CAN'T BELIEVE THESE DAY'S ARE GOING BY SO FAST BUT THEY REALLY ARE. WELL GOODNIGHT DAD AND I WILL TALK AGAIN REAL SOON LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HI DAD, IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE THE LAST TIME WE TALKED. CHAD AND I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THE XMAS LETTERS AND OUR MOVIE WE WILL SHOW ON DEC. 23RD IF EVERYTHING GOES RIGHT. WELL DAD WE PUT UP YOUR VILLAGE AT YOUR HOUSE AS I'M SURE YOU CAN SEE IT. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT BECAUSE I DO AND I STILL THINK YOU ARE GOING TO COME OUT AND SAY IT LOOKS GOOD AS YOU HAVE DONE FOR SO MANY YEARS. IT'S REALLY GOING TO BE DIFFERENT THIS YEAR DAD AND HARD FOR ALL OF US THIS XMAS. DAD, I KNOW WE ARE ALL GOING TO MISS YOU VERY MUCH THIS YEAR AND IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN LIKE IT USED TO BE. I WASN'T SURE IF THIS YEAR SANTA WOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE HIS VISIT TO THE CONDO XMAS NIGHT AT FIRST I WOULD OF SAID NO BUT IN TIME OF THINKING ABOUT IT IT'S BEEN THE FAMILY'S TRADITION AND I WAS ABLE TO GET SANTA TO PROMISE TO MAKE HIS STOP AGAIN THIS YEAR. I CAN PROMISE YOU DAD THAT I WILL NEVER BE THAT BUZZY TO EVER STOP AND SAY HELLO OR TRY TO SAY A PRAYER FOR YOU. WE ALWAYS HERE ABOUT PEOPLE MAKING A NEW YEARS RESOLUTION I THINK THIS YEAR I WILL MAKE ONE AND THAT IS I WILL EACH NIGHT BEFORE I FALL ASLEEP SAY A PRAYER FOR YOU AND SAY HELLO TO YOU EACH MORNING WHEN I SEE YOUR PICTURE IN MY LIVING ROOM. I HOPE YOU ARE DOING WELL DAD AND I WISH YOU COULD SOMEHOW LET US ALL KNOW YOU ARE OK , I THINK IT WOULD MAKE IT EASIER ON ALL OF US IF WE ALL KNEW. I STILL DAD WAKE UP EACH MORNING AND SAY TO MYSELF IT'S NOT TRUE AND THAT IT WAS A BAD DREAM BUT THEN I REALIZE IT IS TRUE AND END UP SAD AGAIN. DAD AS YOU CAN SEE I'M STILL WORKING ON MY WEIGHT AND SO FAR I HAVE LOST 23.5 POUNDS. I HAVE REALLY BEEN TRYING DAD BECAUSE MY HEART HAS BEEN GIVING ME A LITTLE TROUBLE AT TIMES,I DON'T REALLY TELL TO MANY PEOPLE HOW I REALLY HAVE BEEN FEELING BECAUSE IT CAN SCARE YOU AT TIMES SO I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW YOU REALLY FELT ON YOUR BAD DAYS WHEN YOU WERE HAVING TROUBLE. I KNOW IT CAN REALLY SCARE YOU AT TIMES SO THAT IS WHY AS YOU CAN SEE DAD I'M REALLY TRYING WITH MY WEIGHT. I CAN REALLY SAY DAD I STILL HAVE THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO DO IN LIFE AND STILL HAVE MY PERSONAL GOALS SO I'M NOT READY JUST YET TO CALL IT QUITS. I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU WHEN YOU KEPT SAYING TO ME WATCH YOUR WEIGHT BUT YOU KNOW DAD I THOUGHT I KNEW BETTER AND NOW LOOK WHAT TROUBLE IT CAN CAUSE YOU.IT'S HARD TO SAY IT SOMETIMES BUT WHEN YOU HAVE TO SAY THE TRUTH YOU MUST SAY IT AND THAT IS YOU WERE RIGHT DAD AND AND I WAS WRONG AND SHOULD OF LISTENED TO YOU MORE. I SURE HAVE BEEN LISTENING NOW DAD AND I HOPE IT'S NOT TO LATE FOR ME. WELL DAD AS THE HOLIDAYS APPROACH I WILL TALK AGAIN WITH YOU AND WILL KEEP YOU VERY MUCH SO IN MY HEART AND THOUGHTS AND HOPE YOU CAN HELP GUIDE ME AND AS WELL AS THE FAMILY DURING THESE HARD TIMES. SOMEONE MIGHT LAUGH AT THIS BUT I WAS THINKING WHAT COULD I GIVE YOU THIS YEAR FOR XMAS FOR A GIFT AND EVEN THOUGH IT'S EARLY I WILL SHARE WITH YOU AND THAT IS I WILL GIVE YOU MY LOVE LIKE YOU GAVE ME AS I GREW UP ALL THE WAY TILL THE END AND I PROMISE YOU DAD THAT I WON'T LET YOU DOWN WITH THIS GIFT.WELL DAD I'M GOING TO CALL IT A NIGHT AND I WILL TALK AGAIN WITH YOU VERY SOON. LOVE YOU YOUR SON MARK

HELLO DAD HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU AND I KNOW YOU WOULD SAY THE SAME TO ME IF I COULD HERE YOU. HOW IS YOUR DAY TODAY MINE IS OKAY I'm NOT REALLY READY TO TALK ABOUT IT YET TODAY BUT I'M TRYING TO HANDLE IT WITH MY FAMILY TODAY BUT FIND MYSELF JUST NOT WaNTING TO DO MUCH TODAY. DAD, I WISH YOU WERE AT HOME TODAY AND I COULD CALL YOU TODAY BUT YOU ARE NOT AND I MUST REALLY TRY TO ACCEPT THIS BUT I'M REALLY HAVING A HARD TIME TODAY. THIS IS REALLY ARE FIRST HOLIDAY THAT YOU ARE NOT WITH US BUT I FEEL SOMETIMES YOUR PRESENCE AROUND ME AND YOU ARE TRYING TO TELL ME IT'S OKAY BUT I'M STILL HAVING TROUBLE WITH IT. DAD IT'S NOT EASY AT ALL I NOW KNOW HOW YOU MUST OF FELT WHEN YOU LOST YOUR PARENTS GRANDMA AND GRANDPA BUT IT MUST BE A HONOR FOR YOU TO BE WITH THEM AGAIN. TODAY DAD I'M NOT GOING TO TALK LONG BECAUSE I GET TO UPSET AND WOULD LIKE TO REMEMBER ALL THOSE GOOD TIMES AND DAYS WE SHARED AS A FAMILY BUT I DID WANT TO WISH YOU A HAPPY THANKSGIVING AND I MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND WOULD DO ANYTHING TO BRING BACK YESTERDAY IF I COULD BUT AS YOU KNOW I CAN'T. WELL DAD AGAIN I MISS AND LOVE YOU AND HOPE EVERYTHING IS OKAY FOR YOU AND YOU ARE HAPPY BECAUSE THAT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME IF YOU ARE IT DOESN'T HELP HOW I FEEL BUT IT DOES EASE THE PAIN A LITTLE. WELL DAD I'M NOT ONE FOR DOING ALOT OF PRAYING BUT I'M GOING TO START SAYING PRAYERS FOR YOU AS WELL FOR ME TO COUPE WITH THIS. I'M VERY GRATEFUL DAD FOR ALL THE HOLIDAYS WE DID SHARE TOGETHER AND AS A FAMILY AND WILL ALWAYS CHERISH IT AS VERY HAPPY AND EVERLASTING MEMORIES WE HAD. I'T REALLY MEANS ALOT TO HAVE MEMORIES WITHOUT THEM I COULDN'T IMAGINE WHAT A PERSON WOULD DO. WELL DAD UNTIL WE TALK AGAIN HAVE A HAPPY THANKSGIVING AND I KNOW YOU WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER US AND WHAT WE HAD AS A FAMILY. LOVE YOU AND WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU DAD LOVE YOU SON MARK.

HI DAD HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT I'M OKAY. TONIGHT I'M GOING TO ASK FOR YOUR HELP DAD TODD HAS BEEN WORKING VERY HARD TO KEEP WWP GOING HE COULD REALLY USE SOME HELP AND GUIDANCE ALL HE NEEDS IS A FEW BREAKS SO THE COMPANY CAN KEEP GOING STRONG. DAD TODD IS REALLY TRYING VERY HARD AND I TAKE MY HAT OFF FOR HIS COURAGE TO KEEP TRYING BUT EVERYONE CAN ALWAYS USE HELP AND GUIDANCE IF IT HELPS. I'M NOT REALLY MUCH OF A HELP SO I KIND OF KEEP A LOW PROFILE AND DO MY OWN THING BUT OF COURSE DAD IF I'M NEEDED I WILL HELP OUT IF I CAN. I SHOULD OF TAKEN YOUR ADVICE DAD WHEN YOU DID SUGGEST AT TIMES WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN BUT I JUST COULDN'T BELIEVE IT GOING TO HAPPEN. I WISH DAD WHEN YOU MADE DECISIONS I WISH THAT THEY REALLY WOULD OF WORKED OUT FOR YOU BECAUSE I COULD OF BEEN SOMETHING TODAY FOR YOU AND YOU WOULD OF BEEN PROUD OF WHAT I TRIED TO HELP YOU ACHIVE WITH YOUR THOUGHTS AND GOALS. I HAVE KEPT OUR DEAL DAD AND THAT WAS NOT TO GET INTO TODD'S WAY OR HAIR AND LET ALL HIS CHOICES BE HIS AND NOT FIGHT IT ANYWAY. I THINK YOU WOULD HAVE TO AGREE DAD I HAVE REALLY TRIED TO HOLD UP THAT DEAL WE MADE. IN TIME DAD I WILL GET OVER MY FEELINGS AND LET IT GO AND I WILL NOT HOLD ANY BAD FEELINGS AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE. I REALLY MISS ALL THOSE YEARS WE WORKED TOGETHER DAD BECAUSE I DON'T THINK ANYONE WOULD EVER UNDERSTAND THOSE FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS WE SHARED.I JUST WISH DAD YOU WOULD OF SAT DOWN WITH ME AND EXPLAINED WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON AND JUST NOT GIVING ME SUTTLE HINTS AND SUGGESTIONS ON WHAT WAS GOING ON AND TELLING ME THE TRUTH. YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME TO MUCH DAD IN LIFE TO EVER, EVER BE MAD AT YOU DAD I JUST WAS HURT AND THOUGHT MY TIME WITH YOU AND MY WORK ABILITYS MEANT A LITTLE MORE THAN HOW IT IS ENDING UP TODAY. I DO UNDERSTAND DAD YOU HAD TO DO WHAT YOU DID AND I CAN LIVE WITH IT. I GUESS I CAN IMAGINE HOW SOMEONE IN SPORTS FEELS WHEN THEY MUST THROW IN THE TOWEL AND CALL IT QUITES. YOU PICKED A GOOD MAN DAD TO TAKE OVER FOR YOU DAD TODD REALLY HAS A GOOD HEAD ON HIS SHOULDERS AND IF GIVEN THE RIGHT CHANCES AND A FAIR CHANCE HE COULD MAKE A GO OF IT AND REALLY DO GOOD AND CHAD IS REALLY A GOOD RIGHT HAND MAN FOR TODD ALSO BECAUSE CHAD HAS GOOD KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT'S GOING ON ALSO. CHAD CAN REALLY BE A BIG HELP FOR TODD TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN ALL TODD NEEDS IS A FEW BREAKS AND I THINK HE COULD MAKE IT HAPPEN DAD AND I REALLY MEAN IT. LET THEM HAVE A CHANCE DAD BECAUSE I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE LEFT ON THE SIDE LINE AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS WATCH. WELL DAD I KNOW IF YOU HAVE A SPARK IN YOU YOU WILL TRY TO HELP BECAUSE I KNOW IF YOU COULD YOU REALLY WOULD HELP MAKE IT GO JUST LIKE YOU TRIED VERY HARD TO DO SO.IF AND WHEN THAT DAY SHOULD EVER HAPPEN I WILL ALWAYS HOLD AND CHERRISH IT BECAUSE I WILL REMEMBER THIS NIGHT WE TALKED ABOUT IT AND I WILL KNOW DEEP DOWN YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT AND THAT WILL MAKE ME VERY HAPPY BECAUSE I ALSO KNOW YOU STILL CARE VERY MUCH AND WILL ALWAYS TRY TO HELP AS YOU DID BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS MENTALLY WAS A WINNER IN MY BOOK. WELL THANK YOU DAD FOR TAKING YOUR TIME TO LISTEN TO ME AND REALLY HOPE THINGS WILL CHANGE FOR THE GOOD. GOODNIGHT DAD AND AS I ALWAYS TELL YOU I MISS YOU AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU VERY MUCH. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

DAD YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT THE BROWNS DID IT AGAIN THIS TIME AGAINST THE PATRIOTS AND THEY WON BIG AGAIN. WELL WE HAVE SOMETHING IN LIFE TO FINALLY TO BE HAPPY ABOUT ALL I CAN SAY IS IT'S ABOUT TIME.WELL THIS PAST WEEKEND WAS PRETTY NICE OUT SO I THOUGHT IT WAS TIME TO THINK OF PUTTING UP SOME XMAS LIGHTS ON THE INSIDE OF THE HOUSE I'M NOT GOING TO DO THE OUTSIDE THIS YEAR MY ARM AND KNEES HAVE BEEN REALLY BAD THIS YEAR SO FAR. I GUESS THIS YEAR IS GOING TO BE BAD BECAUSE I CAN'T GET OUT OF THIS DEPRESSION I'M IN DAD. THIS YEAR IS GOING TO BE VERY HARD FOR ALL OF US I CAN'T BE HAPPY DAD I STILL WILL NOT BELIEVE YOU ARE NOT AROUND I STILL THINK AT TIMES WHEN I WAKE UP EACH DAY IT'S ONLY A BAD DREAM AND YOU WILL STILL NEED MY HELP TO GET YOU UP EACH DAY AND GET YOU READY FOR WORK. I THINK ABOUT ALL THOSE HAPPY MEMORIES OF XMAS AT YOUR HOUSE AND CAN'T AND WON'T BELIEVE YOU ARE NOT PART OF THIS. I NEED YOUR HELP DAD THIS YEAR BECAUSE I DON'T THINK THIS YEAR I CAN PUT UP YOUR VILLAGE I REALLY GET SAD THINKING ABOUT IT AS YOU CAN SEE AS WE ARE TALKING NOW ABOUT IT. I REALLY WOULD STILL LIKE TO KEEP THE TRADITION GOING BUT THIS YEAR IS REALLY STARTING OFF HARD FOR ME JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. WHEN I THINK OF DOING IT I THINK AND CAN SEE YOUR FACE BEING SO HAPPY TO SEE YOUR VILLAGE AND TRAIN AROUND IT. MAYBE DAD IN THE NEXT WEEK YOU CAN HELP GUIDE AND PUT MY MIND AT EASE ON WHAT I SHOULD DO ABOUT MY DECISION MY HEART TELLS ME TO DO IT TO KEEP THE HAPPINESS AND REMEMBER ALL THOSE GOOD TIMES WE HAD PUTTING IT UP. I CAN TELL YOU THIS DAD BONNIE IS REALLY TRYING TO PUSH ME AND LETTING ME KNOW SHE IS GOING TO HELP LIKE SHE HAS EACH YEAR WE HAVE BEEN PART OF THIS. DAD THIS MIGHT BE A GOOD WAY FOR YOU TO HELP ME THIS YEAR IS HAVING BONNIE AT MY SIDE AND PUSHING ME TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT I REALLY WANT TO DO. THIS IS NOT AWAY OF SHOWING DISRESPECT I JUST FEEL VERY SAD INSIDE AND SOMETIMES I JUST CAN'T HOLD THIS INSIDE EACH DAY. IF BEING A FATHER WAS BASED ON SHOWING YOUR CHILDREN AND TEACHING THEM HOW TO DEAL WITH DEATH I GUESS I WOULD NOT BE A VERY GOOD ONE TODAY BECAUSE I NEED TO LEARN HOW TO DEAL WITH IT. WELL DAD I'M WITHIN THIS WEEK GOING TO STRUGGLE TO PUT UP OUR TREE AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS AND WE WILL BE IN TOUCH AS WE WILL TALK ABOUT THIS MATTER AGAIN. DAD I'M REALLY SAD AND MUST STOP FOR TONIGHT NOT THAT I DON'T ENJOY TALKING WITH YOU IT'S THESE DECISIONS I MUST MAKE SOON THAT MAKE ME NOT THINK SO SMART. I REALLY HOPE IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS YOU CAN HELP ME IN ANY WAY YOU CAN SEE HOW IT CAN HELP ME DAD AND I PROMISE YOU DAD WE WILL MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION IF I CAN COUNT ON YOUR HELP. I SAY WE GET A GOOD NIGHTS REST AND THINK ABOUT THIS SITUATION AND COME UP WITH A GOOD ANSWER. WELL UNTIL NEXT TALK DAD MISS AND LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND MORE SO NOW AS THINGS WE TOOK FOR GRANTED WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. LOVE YOUR SON MARK

HELLO DAD, WELL THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THE BROWNS FINALLY WIN A BIG GAME AGAINST THE SAINTS AND IT WAS SWEET. ALL I CAN SAY IS IT'S ABOUT TIME FOR THEM TO WIN A GAME LIKE THIS ESPECIALLY ON THE ROAD THAT MADE IT EVEN BETTER FOR THE WIN. WELL HOW HAS THINGS BEEN GOING WITH YOU DAD , I HOPE EVERYTHING IS GOOD FOR YOU. I NEVER REALLY TOLD YOU DAD THAT THE DAY YOU PASSED AWAY THAT WE ALL SHOULD NEVER TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED WHEN YOU LOOSE SOMETHING OR SOMEONE WHO YOU CARE AND LOVE VERY MUCH THAT IT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN AND WE DON'T REALIZE IT UNTIL IT'S GONE. WE SHOULD ALL ENJOY LIFE WHILE WE CAN BECAUSE IT CAN ALL BE GONE SO QUICK IN LIFE. WELL, CHAD AND I ARE REALLY WORKING HARD ON THIS MOVIE WE ARE PUTTING TOGETHER DAD I THINK EVERYONE IS REALLY GOING TO ENJOY THIS ONE. I THINK THIS MOVIE WILL BE BETTER THAN ANY YOU COULD GO RENT OR SEE AT A THEATER AND I REALLY MEAN IT. DAD THIS ONE YOU WOULD SAY IS A BIG HIT OR A HOMERUN. DAD, I DON'T THINK ANYONE TOLD YOU THIS SO I WILL BE THE FIRST TO DO SO. THE DAY'S WE VIEWED YOU AT THE FUNERAL HOME YOU REALLY LOOKED GOOD AND EVEN THOUGH I WAS VERY SAD AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY OR THINK I DO KNOW THAT AS I LOOKED AT YOU I WAS PROUD AND REALLY HONORED THAT YOU ARE MY DAD. I KNOW THAT EVERYONE THOUGHT AND WOULD SAY THE SAME THING IF THEY COULD. YOU LOOKED LIKE A FATHER AND A BUSINESS MAN AND MOST IMPORTANT A LOVING HUSBAND WITH DIGNITY AND LOVING THOUGHTS RUNNING IN YOUR MIND. I THOUGHT AT TIMES I COULD REALLY TALK TO YOU AND THAT YOU JUST MIGHT ANSWER BACK TO ME. I REALLY HOPE ONE DAY DAD THAT YOU WILL TELL ME SOMEDAY SOMEHOW NOT TO BE AFFRAID AND THAT SOMEDAY IT'S REALLY DOES PAY OFF TO BE LIKE YOU ARE TODAY HAPPY EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOU WOULD LOVE TO BE BACK WITH ALL OF US AGAIN. I HOPE YOU ALSO WORK AND HELP GUIDE MOM THROUGH THIS HARD TIME BECAUSE SHE STILL NEED'S GUIDANCE AS WE ALL DO. I DON'T THINK DAD YOU COULD OF ASKED FOR ANYONE ELSE TO STAND BY YOUR SIDE AS MOM DID AND I KNOW YOU REALLY SAW THAT EVERYDAY OF YOUR LIFE AND YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO MOM WOULD BE BY YOUR SIDE TODAY IF SHE COULD AND THE BEST THANKS YOU COULD GIVE MOM AND ALL OF US IS YOUR LOVE AND GUIDANCE WHEN WE NEED IT EACH DAY. EVEN IF TODAY SEEM'S TO BE A GOOD DAY FOR US TO KNOW YOU ARE AROUND US CAN ALWAYS MAKE IT THAT MUCH BETTER FOR ALL OF US. WELL DAD I NEVER ASKED YOU THIS BUT IF YOU COULD SAY HELLO TO ALL THOSE WE MISS AND GIVE MY LOVE. I WOULD OFF PAID TO SEE GRANDMA AND GRANPAS FACE WHEN YOU SAW THEM AGAIN AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS I BET IT WAS AND FELT PRICELESS FOR YOU DAD AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPY THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE.ONE DAY WE WILL ALL COME BACK HOME AND BE TOGETHER AGAIN BUT UNTIL THEN WE HAVE ALOT OF WORK TO ACCOMPLISH YET AND ONE DAY WE ALL WILL BE CALLED ON AND HOPEFULLY WE WILL BE READY. WELL DAD IT'S ALWAYS MY PLEASURE AND HONOR TO TALK WITH YOU AS YOU KNOW THIS I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS.WELL UNTIL ARE NEXT VISIT I WILL TALK AGAIN VERY SOON DAD LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH YOUR SON MARK.

Hi dad, it's me mark as you don't know i forget sometimes that you know before anyone does. Well the browns did it again this time against the steelers. I'll let you guess who won i'll give you a hint the steelers looked really good.Oh well maybe next week they will finally surprise us all and pull off a victory. How are things going with you dad i hope ok. Well as you see i'm working on a home movie and yes dad you happen to be the star of the show. I hope when it's finished it turns out really good. Chad has really been a real big help putting this together with me. I don't think without chad's help i could of pulled it off the way i was going with it and i really mean it.Well it's been a little over 3 months since i've seen you last and i'll tell you dad it still to me feels like it's not true that you are gone but you are and i still have to accept it and i just can't. I do go down to work and i promise you that i don't cause any trouble for you as we talked about i swear dad on your grave and i say that with the most respect. I go down and help if and when i'm needed and work on my projects at work in my spare time up in the office upstairs. Well i need to take my medicine and my arm and knees are really hurting now dad so i'm going to try to get some rest tonight and hope tomorrow will be better. Bonnie says hello dad and i thank you for helping me with tiffany so far so good she is doing pretty good on her own and in school so that makes me verry happy inside. Well dad until next time get a good nights rest and i'm going to try to do the same. Love and miss you dad love your son mark.

Hello dad, how are you doing tonight. I'm doing pretty good even though the browns lost again as you know. It get's me made just thinking about it but oh well life still goes on i guess. Well dad i hope that everything is going good for you and you are happier now that the pain you suffered is finally gone. I tell myself that life is not fair and watching you suffer was not right for you or anybody to go through what you did for years. I site up at night and can't help but think what you are doing each day and each night. I guess we will all feel what it's like one day when we are called upon for our day hopefully at peace. I will be honest with you dad that i'm affraid of dying i wonder sometimes what it will be like but i then don't want to think of it at all. I still think about the day you passed away dad, what you had going on in your mind and you must of been scared also. Dad if only i wish you could tell me that it's not bad and not to be scared like you would of told me when i was little. I know that this is life and one day we all will find out what really happens and you will see me again only in a better way. Today i found out a guy i went to school with in high school has passed away he was only 47 years old. When i heard of this news it really shook me up inside because i'm 49 1/2 years old. Dad i'm really watching my weight as you see each day that i weigh myself and keep my log book up each day with my weigh in each morning. I still ask each day dad you help guide and watch over all of your family you are still my dad and if i can't ask you for help i don't know who i can ask because today and until my day comes you will and are my loving dad. I still wish when i get up each morning the phone will ring and you or mom say are you coming over to help me get up because you know dad that i would for you. Well dad, it's getting to be that time of the night again as you can see and i'm starting to get tired so i will let you go and get back to your night and will talk real soon again to you until then take care of yourself and please help me be strong because it really hurts and i'm still very sad. Good night dad and remember i will always miss you and love you very much love your son mark.

Dad, today is oct. 4 monday and we had an awful weekend. The good news is the browns finally won 23 - 20 they beat the bengals. This game was in cleveland so that was a good game for the browns to finally win they are now 1 - 3. That was the good news the bad news was that i broke my wrist and does it really hurt. It's been 49 1/2 years and i have never broke a bone in my body until saturday oct. 2 and to make matters worse it was bonnie's birthday. Anything and evertthing that could go wrong went wrong for us. Bonnie and i were trying to cut down a medium size apple tree in her dad's backyard and as we put a wrope around it the tree, the wrope snapped and as i was pulling it i fell and all my weight landed on my right arm and it snapped the bone across my wrist and oh boy did it hurt me. Bonnie and i went over to mom's house to show my arm to mom and she said go get it checked over at the hospital and needless to say it was broke from the xrays taken. Well i'll have to wear this cast on my arm for about 4 - 5 weeks or longer. Dad enough with my problems, i hope everything with you is okay and you have everything upstairs under control. I know now you will make the right choices but i'm still learning and even at 49 i'm still learning what is right and wrong. Well dad, my arm is really starting to hurt and i must take my medicine for the night and try to get a good night's rest until we talk again i will see you and hope you get a good night's rest so good night and love and miss you love your son mark.

Dad, today is 9/28/2010 and yes the browns are 0-3 what else is new. Today dad your van and 3- lifts are sold and it's sad to think you aren't around to be still using them. I still have a problem somedays telling myself you are still alive but i know if i were to ask someone they would think i was nuts. It's really hard for me as i write to you that this is true. I know you are a strong person and you did not give up you tried to win until the end. July 12, 2010 will always be the hardest day of my life for me because when i heard your last words and request i thought you would really bounce back like you have done many times during your sickness. Dad in case you forgot what your last words, you told us we could change the tv station that day. When i heard you say this i thought for sure you would wake back up and start talking to us again. I don'tlike to say it but i was wrong and i don't have to tell you what happened because you knew what was happening that day. I sure hope dad you are happier and the hurt and pain is really gone because i need to know that i really helped until i had to say goodbye to you. I'm glade i have your pictures and some of your ashes dad as you see it on my cabinet because i know that when i wake up and say good morning or goodnight to you i still feel you around me and hope you can respect me for doing this. I still need your help and will always ask you to help me when at times i feel like i'm going to fall. I can't speak for everyone but i feel and sometimes can tell we all need your help to make it through this tuff struggle. Try to help us understand that you are ok and we all are on the right path if you can because mom, todd's family, kim's family, chad's family craig's family and as you know myself and my family will need your help also. I know somehow you are helping me with tiffany because she is doing pretty good and i can only say i really appreciate your help you know how i would feel if anything ever happened to tiffany. Well it's getting late and i'm getting tired so i guess i'm going to call it a night dad. Oh bye the way dad before i forget to tell you i started at 263 pounds and as of this morning i weighed in at 246 pounds it's not alot yet but i'm trying very hard. I know i can't lie to you because it just dawned to me your watching over me, right. Well dad we will talk again soon and remember i will always love and miss you very much love your son mark.

It's saturday 3:25am, I'm in a familiar boat, I can't sleep. Mark and Craig reminded me that this guest book is here until August 2011, so I thought I would make an entry since I'm tired of playing Ms Pacman. Todd and I were watching Mark & Bonnie's wedding video the other day and I'm ashamed to say that I had forgotten about the man you used to be. I forgot there was more to your life than the past 10 years. I suppose I was dwelling on the fact that all we've been doing is 'suffering' and I lost my perspective. Actually, it was surreal watching you move around, like walking Mark down the aisle and flexing at his bachelor party. I don't think that smile you had could be wiped off your face no matter how hard anyone tried. Craig looked a little too young to be having a beer but it was a celebration after all. Mark was moving out of the house, I mean, Mark was getting married. I was confused as to how I should feel because I was sad thinking about what you lost, and happy that you now have it back. I hope Mark is right when he says you are helping in some way to guide us at work. We will continue to try and do the right thing. Like you've always said, HOPE FOR THE BEST, but prepare for the worst....

Today is 9/22/2010 dad and the browns did it again they lost again what else is new. I finally finished my first try in making a home movie sharing all the memories we had and have as a family dad.I was surprised how it came out for my first time doing it, not bad at all. You really looked happy in most of the pictures and i was glade to see this in you and i'm sure everyone else will agree with me dad. Watching at times in your early days how happy and the fun we had makes the pain ease alittle but it sure does'nt go away at all. I know somedays i seem to handle it better but other days i can't handle it at all and must stay to myself and try not to show my emotions and feelings to others. I still feel and hope you are trying to help me cope with this and i sure hope you are and still will. Each day dad i go down to work it's really, really hard because i still think you are down in your office and i still feel the need to open your door and see but you are not and it really hurts. I know dad you really tried and worked very hard at everything you did. I know you sometimes wouldn't agree with this but we all know you did. Remember dad things maybe didn't always go as planned for you but you did win at the most important thing you did and that was having mark,todd,kim,chad,craig and your special loving wife annette. Dad that will always go down as the biggest thing you did win at and i think today you will agree. Well, dad, i must get ready to call it a night it's getting late as you can see so until we talk again goodnight dad and you know that i will always love and miss you. Your son mark

Dear Mark and family,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. There is nothing anyone can say to make you feel better, but just know we're thinking of you and time will heal some of the pain you feel in your heart.
God Bless
Susan Rocco and family

Dad, today is monday 9/13/2010 and as you know by now the cleveland browns did it again they lost. Well, what else is knew! I really thought this year they would make a real effort but i guess not. Today was a pretty good day for me it felt at times you are right there for me saying it's going to be okay and be strong. Dad i have been really trying to loose weight as you know and i wished i would of listened to you each time you told me so but as you know i thought i always knew best. The good news is when i came back from the funeral i weighed 263 pounds as of this morning i weighed in at 248.5 pounds i'm really happy i have stayed with it this long it does make you start to feel better. I hope you are helping me with this because i really need your help to watch over me with this i still feel i'm a little young for problems yet. Well enough with me, i hope you are doing well and enjoying your new life and you can and will inspire all of us not to be affraid of dying to know one day i will be with you again how could you be affraid of that. Today dad, i still have my goals and things i would like to do but as we know time is short and life goes by very fast so i must enjoy every minute i have because as we saw with you it goes by very fast and i think we all take for granted tomorrow will always come. Well, dad, thank you again for listening to me and helping me through some of my problems each day until we talk again i love and miss you your son mark.

Well dad, today is 9/9/2010 and tonight starts the football season vikings vs. the saints i don't really care who wins i just enjoy watching it. The big games are when the browns play and we are all waiting for that big year when the brown's can be good. Today dad, was a bad day again for me because yesterday i went into your office and you are not around. It's still tuff for me to believe you are gone and not in your office each day. I think dad todd and chad are really trying to do a good job as you can see please help guide and inspire them each day that good things will and must happen at work and i know if you can help in anyway that you will no doubt in my mind. I still wish i could help you each day as i did because you know i would. I do try each day dad to do the best i can each day and do what you asked me to and not cause problems for chad and todd. It's hard because i worked with you since the 6th grade summer and i still wonder how the time flew by but it did dad. What makes it hard is all those years you think your doing good and trying to make good decisions and find out its over and your back down to square 0 and like you must proove yourself all over again.well that's how life is i guess like in sports just because you don't always win don't mean your no good. Well dad, i'm going to go back and watch the game and hope you have a good night. I hope you can each day try to guide and show us the right path to travel down each day because it is really hard. Thanks again dad for taking the time to listen to me until we talk again love and miss you your son mark.

Today is 9/4/2010 labor day weekend and we are all invited to chad and kathy's new house for a picnic and see their new house. Well this will be our first holiday without you dad and i can tell you it hurts very much so. Each time i open up your guest book i see a happy picture of you and that's how i want to remember you each day of my life. I can't get that awful day of 7/12/2010 out of my mind and i really don't think i ever will. Well i guess it's time to go to chad and kathy's now so i will talk again soon dad. I do hope that what they say is true and that is you will be happier in the end. Oh' bye the way say hello to all our loved ones that are with you. Dad i wish you could tell or show us all somehow that things are better for you and others we all miss but until we all experience death we must just believe that it is. Well until next time dad we talk i love and miss you very much so. love always and forever your son mark.

Well, dad, it's 8/30/2010 about 10:30 a.m. in the morning and tiffany is leaving for spokane. It was really hard for me to say goodbye dad,but i had to do it. I know that you can look down on us and understand what we are going through so i don't have to explain it. I know you would help if you could so i ask you once again to help bonnie and i through this tuff time in my life. I would also ask if you would please watch over tiffany for me and try to guide tiffany at tuff times and decisions she might have to make. I really need your help dad, because if anything happened to tiffany i could not cope with it. If there was ever a favor i needed this is it. Thank you dad, and i love and miss you very much as you see each day but at times when i have a bad day i do feel at times you are around me and i need this very much so. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart your son mark.

Well, Dad, it's 8/29/2010, and it's time for Tiffany to go back to Spokane for school. Well, Dad, I lost you, and now I feel like I'm losing my daughter. It really hurts to know that in the morning I must say goodbye. I can only imagine how you and Mom felt as we all left. It really hurts. I know Tiffany is happy and is excited and wants to come out of school with a good job, and we all want the same for Tiffany. I know, Dad, that you will help me through this again, and I will make it through this, but I will need your help and guidance. Thank you, Dad, for helping me once again. Love, your son, Mark.

well dad we did it yesterday was keith and janets wedding and you were asked to hold the shot gun for his shot gun wedding. I did it in your place as you know and it felt as if you were with me dad. I just wanted you to know that everything went well and i was glad to step in for you and do it.Well dad i'll go for now and talk again with you.I'm still having trouble dad as you know and you can see but i feel at times that you are around me and you are trying to guide me and i really need your help. Let's keep this our secret and not tell anyone, people might not always understand but i now know do and that's all that matters.well goodnight dad and we will talk again soon. I miss and love you your son mark.

May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.

Such family,

We were sorry to hear of David's passing. Though we did not know David personally, your family is a great testimony to his love and integrity. God bless you all.

dad i will miss you very much and will always think about you and what you are doing.I will always cherish all the good times we had with each other and as a family i can never thank you for everything that you taught me and what you have done for me as a father but i will anyways thank you and i will always love and remember you. I hope your pain is gone and you are happy one day you can sit with me and tell me all about it.love FOREVER your son mark

I remember doing business with Dave at Progressive Litho years ago...he will be remembered as a Printer, who really knew his business. One of a kind...Rest in Peace.

May David fond memories stay with your family.May knowing others carry help at this time.One day soon all sickness ,sorrow and death will be things of the past be until that time comes. The God of comfort will be will your family to care for you.

Todd and Craig: My condolences to you and your family. I remember seeing him at the boys last baseball game. May God Bless you.

My condolences to the entire Such Family.

To the entire Such Family, I add my condolences. You are all in my thoughts and prayers. May your great memories of Dave comfort you during this time.

To the Such Family-
Our condolences to all of you.

Dear Anna, Craig & Family,
I was saddened to learn of your dad's passing and wish to offer my condolences as you face these difficult and lonely days. I know that David held a very special place in your hearts and I will be praying for your comfort.

Dear Annette and Family,
We offer our deepest sympathy as you grieve the passing of your beloved, David, and reflect upon the wonderful blessings he brought to your lives. You are being remembered in our prayers; May the Lord, Jesus Christ, hold you near in His tender love as He carries you through this dark time.

Such Family
Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.