Earl Hurlburt Obituary

An Indian Story: On Dying

Anything that has birth must also have a death.

The spirit is not born with a person, but is given at the time of birth. Therefore, because this spirit has no birth, it will never die.

No man knows where the spirit world is. The ancient people say it is beyond the pines. The pine trees are at the edge of the world. And beyond these trees is the path of the wind.

The spirit way begins there at the edge of the world. Among the stars and the wind. They will tell the spirit people where to find them.

Death...
There is not death...
Only a change of worlds.

Bluebirds

He is the golden dust hanging under the light of a woodshop window,
the smell of sweet maple and oak
the woodpile stacked like bones behind the red shed,
peeling and faded. He's laughing,
wheezing like a cool breeze in July
the month his wife died.
Sometimes, he still asks where she went
maybe to town for eggs
or just outside picking green beans in the garden—
she's the other room…
she was just there.

He has a purple heart
and red flannel shirts, suspenders
and steel toe boots, thick bones
that held a gun in World War II,
five babies,
his wife's black hair.
He has working hands,
vines twisting under his knuckles
white scars like glass, rugged as the dirt road I walked on with bare feet

but when he takes your hand in his, your fingerprints melt
into his skin, into those bluebird eyes, softer than feathers,
ferns against your ankles.

He looked for her in the garden
under the wings of goldfinches and chickadees,
while I looked only at dirt and birdseed—
maybe
where we see broken
glass
he sees white light and a prism,
an eruption of colors dancing like the reflection of water
on the ceiling
reds like her sweater, greens like the field
where he led horses, and kissed
pink lips like lupines for fifty-eight years

and when we saw a hospital bed
he saw a fishing line tangled in his sheets
he saw Sealey's river at bass season,

and when I sit looking at my hands
in a college classroom because I can't remember the motifs
in Crime and Punishment
the symbolism of the storm in King Leer
do I know anything at all?

he tells me
it doesn't matter.
All that matters is the amber dust spinning
hanging under the light of his workshop window,
holding the hand of someone who is dying,
and having their eyes today
like bluebirds.


-Patience.
(I love you, Gramps!)

My eulogy to our Dad:

For those that don't know me, I am Debbie, Earl's youngest daughter, or as Dad called me, Deb-bur-a. Born before me was my brother Jim, before him, Norma, before her, Laura, and before her, Earl, Jr.

Our father was born and raised in Bristol on June 14, 1923, coincidentally on Flag Day. Dad used to tell us when we were young that people hung the flag out to honor him, and we believed it.

Eventually, his family moved to the Hurlburt Farm on Ireland Road in Starksboro where he learned the skills of farming and all that it entailed. Dad left the family farm for employment and eventually joined the Army in 1946 where he was stationed in Japan. When he returned to Vermont, he met and married our mother, Kathy, the love of his life, in 1952 with whom he was married for over 58 years. Dad and Mom raised 5 children in a small house in Salisbury; a house that was full of craziness, love, laughter and respect.

I remember this home full of activity - people coming and going; visits from our grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins and friends. I remember Dad working in the yard on all sorts of projects either for the house, his woodcrafts, on cars, big and small engines and getting those fishing poles ready. There was always something going on at the house. Our lives were always so full and happy with family and friends.

Samuel Johnson said that ~ "It matters not how a man dies, but how he lives." And Dad lived well and he taught us how to live well. I never remember Dad ever taking a day off from his job at Brown's Novelty where he worked for 40 years. He was a meticulous woodworker and took great pride in what he was making for the company. He honed his skills there and used them to make many wonderful family heirlooms. He also taught us the meaning of family time. His weekends were all about his family, for either doing some project on the house, or fixing somebody's car, getting together with Aunt Irene and Uncle Cliff or Aunt Barb and Uncle Bob and all of our cousins, visiting our good family friends, the Harrison's, or doing one of our favorite pastimes, going fishing.

Our fishing episodes were legendary in our house; he would pile the five kids and Mom and himself in the car, put the fishing poles in the trunk, and then we would drive to Panton Dam or Seeley's River or some other fishing spot. But with five kids, Dad spend most of his time untangling our lines from the trees, putting on worms, or putting on new bobs cause we got our lines tangled in some weeds in the water. Come to think of it, I am not sure that Dad did much fishing for himself.

Later in life, once the kids had moved out, Dad finally got his opportunity to fish for himself as you would find his red truck by the bridge on Swamp Road or at Seeley's River. He found it peaceful there and it didn't matter if he caught a thing.

Dad's work at Brown's Novelty brought him great skills in woodworking - he loved to spend time with his woodworking machines at home, making crafts for the enjoyment of it, for his family. Dad made each of his 5 kids a rocking horse and a cradle for the grandchildren to use. Patience's first bed where she slept was the cradle that Gramp made for her. He was a great craftsman and a patient teacher. I made a point to work with him when I was younger because I enjoyed learning some of his craft.

And the garden-tending was a family affair. Not that we liked it at all when we were younger. There was the tilling he would do, then we'd help him lay out the rows, fertilize, plant the seeds, water and then the really fun job, weeding. There is a picture somewhere, I think we have hid it, showing the whole family in front of the garden, and I think the only one smiling was Dad. But those lessons were memory-building and they make us smile and even laugh today. It's the little things that mean the most.

He also loved to work on cars too, teaching Earl and Jimmy how to fix them; whether it was simple or more complex, like engine repairs, brakes, clutches, no matter what, Dad could do it.

Dad instilled in us the importance of being responsible, honorable, honest and trustworthy. His word was worth its weight in gold. He was a good friend and a great father.

After Mom passed, nearly two years ago, Dad never asked of us anything, but as his children who were instilled with his moral code, we took it upon ourselves to make sure that he was never alone because that is what family does, that is what our family does. It is a true testament to our parents and says more about them, about how we were raised, that we believed that it was the right thing to do to take care of our father in his final years. We have the love that was instilled in us to do for our father what he did for years for us, to take care of your family. My brothers, sisters, nephew Marcel Paul and I, were given the honor of caring for him, and it was an honor. We also had help from two great family friends, Susie Larocque Homick and Susie Holdman, Sue One and Sue Two as we called them, who provided their loving care for our Dad. We will be eternally grateful for their love and support.

For nearly the last two years of Dad's life, we were able to spend precious time with him, talking with him, hearing his stories, his jokes and caring for him. We were able to see for ourselves what a truly great man he really was. There is a saying ~ "A great man will not trample upon a worm, nor sneak to an emperor." ~ that was our Dad, he was a kind, gentle, loving, very easy going, and had that Hurlburt sense of humor.

Sometimes when his favorite nurse, Mary Beth, would come by to check on him she would ask "Earl, how are you feeling?" He'd hold up his hands and reply, "With my fingers." Or when you'd call him on the phone and ask Dad what he was doing he'd say, "Talking to you!" Or in that same conversation after talking with him for awhile, he's say "You're looking good." He always had a smile for people and was always grateful for his family.

I have to add that I am very proud of my brothers and sisters and Marcel Paul for all we were blessed to do for our father for the past two years. And I know that Dad was grateful and he loved us for it.

But now he is at rest and back with the love of his life, our mother, Kathy. I bet it was a great, happy reunion for them. And, I know we are sad that he is gone. However, what a caterpillar perceives as the end, to the butterfly is just the beginning.

We will miss you Dad and your love lives in our hearts forever.

Dad,can't believe it has been a year since you left us. I am so glad I was with you that night. It is still so very hard to believe you and mom are not with us any more,but you are together . You will never be forgotten,we love and miss you everyday. Love Larry and Laura

Dad, you will truly be missed. You taught me so much in life. I will think of you every day. I know you're at peace, and reunited with Mom.

In the summertime my parents had a large vegetable garden growing in our backyard. Dad tilled the garden, carving out the rows. My sisters and brothers got down on our knees, and pushed in the seeds with our "green thumbs." With Dads strong hands cupped over our smaller hands, we covered seeded rows of radishes, carrots, beans, and corn. In the weeks to follow, we helped to water, and weed the garden.
My family and I played lots of indoor and outdoor games together. It didn't matter what the game (croquet, badminton, monopoly, kick the can), as well as fishing was a great weekend activity. This I have passed on to my children.

My father taught me the value of honesty, integrity, hard work and respect for myself, family and others. He did this by example not by preaching. He was a hard worker. I feel as though this world is a better place because of him. He is gone from this Earth now, but his legacy lives on, and his memory is still vivid, in the minds of his children and grandchildren.
Dad the lesson learned- was that the love you gave over the decades of my life - and the examples you showed me - gave me incredible strength - to bare the burden of life without him.
I love and miss you Daddy

Well, I still can't believe that your gone...but I know that you are happier now that you are with Gram and of course all your family (including the furry members). I miss you....I miss your wheezing laugh...your dry sense of humor...your kind eyes...your heavy accent...I'm so glad that my children were able to have you in their lives...no matter how brief of a time it was. With all my heart, I miss you.

Dad still missing you and mom very much,I am so very thankful for the years we had together as a family. It is very hard not having a parent to see when I go over to the house. I hope you are at rest with mom now. Please know that you were great parents and that we will always keep your memory alive. Love Laura

Ohhh gramps... It makes me smile to think you and gram are together again. I know you are so happy. There's so many precious memories. I still can't believe you were brave enough to let me cut your hair ;) I thank god I am a Hurlburt. We are one lucky family to have had the worlds greatest grandpa/dad and the worlds greatest grandma/mom . We will love and miss you always. <3 Jenn

Gramp looked forward to Miss Grace visiting Wednesday evenings playing Yahtzee then enjoying dinner with her, Paul,and Marie.

Gramps-I will hold close to me the memories of the last weeks of your life. Our time together was so special to me. We shared some laughs and you told me wonderful stories. You taught me so much about being a good person, being true to myself and being accountable. It isn't easy with you gone, but it does ease the heartache knowing you and Gram are together again. Every day you asked about her. Now you are reunited. Love you always. Amanda

Dear Norma, I am so sorry to hear about your Dad. I know how much you loved him. I am thinking of you.
Lynn

Dad-I am still in shock over losing you so soon after mom,but I hope you are at peace with her now. I will miss you always. Please know that we were very blessed to have had a dad like you. We love you very much.

May his memory be for a blessing and his lessons for living a good life live on in all those whom he touched.

To the entire Hurlburt family, our sincere condolences on the loss of your father, grandfather and great grandfather. May you find comfort in knowing he and Cathy are together once again and that they are in a better place.

bonnie, i'm so sorry for your lost.

Earl was a very special freind and brother inlaw. We had so many memories to remember. We spent time laughing and remembering Kathy and Cliff and our years together.I will miss him but I know he is with Kathy and family.To the family I am only a phone call away if you need me I will be there . Love always Nannie Irene.

My thoughts are with the Hurlburt family at this sad time. Rest in Peace.

Dear cousins, we are so sorry to hear about Uncle Earl's passing. He was a wonderfully kind man..loved by many people. of course we have regrets that we didn't come visit him but we know he is with Aunt Caddie and they are happy again.

Oh, Gramps, the man who gave my mother and me our blue eyes. It seems too soon to be writing in this guestbook again, but you missed Gram so much and it calms me to think of you being together again. You both gave me the best childhood I could've asked for in the fields and dirt piles of Vermont. I learned so much from you--especially in these past few weeks. We have a genuine, strong, and wonderful family because of you and Gram. I miss you both. I'll see you agan--behave yourself.

Earl,Laura, Norma, Debra, & Jimmy,
Your Dad was a wonderful human being. He will be another one of our wonderful angels in heaven. So sorry for the loss of your Father.
Susie Holdman

I will miss you always. So many memories I will hole near and dear to my heart. I love you, Dad....

Bonnie

Grandpa, I miss you already. I'll miss your sass and your dry humor more than anything. I have a million memories to last me a lifetime. I look forward to the day that I see you and Gram once again.

Daddy, you will truly be missed. You taught me so much in life. I will think of you every day. I know you're at peace and with Mom now. Love you Norma

Norma,Deb,Earl,Laura and Jim: So sorry for your Dads passing.

Norma, I am so sorry for your loss.
Janet Piper

Norma, My thoughts are with you and your families at this sad time.

Norma, I am so sad to hear of your Dad's passing. If you need anything just let me know. Take care.

Dad - I will always miss you but I am hopeful you are reunited with Mom. Rest and know that you are a very loved father and grandfather. Love ya, Deb-bur-a

Earl, Laura, Norma, Jim & Debbie,
My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this time. Remember the good times and the memories will last forever.
Hugs,